A place for majestic STEMLORD peacocking, as well as memes about the realities of working in a lab.
Rules
This is a science community. We use the Dawkins definition of meme.
Another fun fact about plant naming conventions: all lettuces* are the same species
*except wild lettuce but nobody really considers that a lettuce. Still, I guess it would be more correct to say all of the food lettuces are the same species.
Irrelevant side quest that I went on while double checking this: DuckDuckGo now forwards some search queries to their chatGPT wrapper, which prompted (pun intended) the following interaction:
It's a bit clearer in french; "weed" is "mauvaise herbe" which literally translates to "bad herb/grass".
My co-workers call me weed I think it's because I'm tenacious. So much in fact I have a meeting with HR on Monday probably a pay rise
How about honeysuckle vs trumpet vine? Both grow like hell, invasively, where I live. One is a tasty and pleasant treat when flowering. The other is just.. there, growing. A lot.
Same rules apply. If you don't want it there, it's a weed. If you don't mind it being there, it isn't.
Fun fact: the name for a weed in my native language is literally "angry grass" :3
Unkraut in German. Doesn't deserve to be called a Kraut.
Similar in Norwegian: Ugress. Un-grass.
I've heard one definition of it that I like: The grass that your (grazing) animals won't eat.
In Swedish the prefix for bad stuff is the same as the prefix for not or un-. So a monster is a not-animal and a weed is ungrass. Which is especially interesting to me because that same prefix (o) is for better versions of things in Japanese.
e: This got me thinking about "plant," and I realized it's literally the verb to plant. In Swedish it's a growth, or thing that grew. Japanese and Chinese: planted thing. Spanish is also the same as the verb. I feel kinda bad we mostly talk about them in terms of farming them rather than giving them a proper name. Like if they get sentient someday, plant will probably be considered a slur.
i call this the weed paradox.
even though weeds grow unassisted. it is impossible for everyone to grow weeds in their garden. for is they try, they are no longer weeds
am i not supposed to want weed around?
Weeds are just highly successful flowers that have earned resentment from others.
A weed is whatever your HOA says it is.
A HOA is a weed.
The general definition of a weed is "any plant growing where you don't want it to be". A corn plant in a bean field is a terrible weed.
what the hell is a bean field? also beans are great with corn they climb the stalks, also have squash, then boom you have the so called three sisters.
Bush beans are a thing? Soybeans don't climb either, and it's the most common bean grown in the US.
OOP is the author of something like seven published novels, one of which has been adapted into a movie and another of which may soon be made into a streaming series. Never feel embarrassed to say what you learned today.
It’s easy when you didn’t know something that is completely reasonable not to know, like in this example, but it’s always good to admit your ignorance.
Just wait until he finds out about "tree"
Any kind of twig that's not a shrub?
My definition: aggressive spread and resilience to removal.
Plants that are pretty might get more of a 'pass' than ones which are ugly, poisonous or thorny, but ultimately, even the most beautiful flower becomes a weed when it's suddenly everywhere and you are fighting constantly to get rid of it.
aggressive spread and resilience to remove
Many would argue that mint is an herb. But if you ever had your garden invaded by mint, you'll definitely classify them under weed.
Always plant mint in a pot. And if your neighbour has mint in their garden, you better have a 2m trench filled with concrete between their garden and yours.
Weeds is just the gardening term for "their kind".
"you people"
In Spanish we call them "malas hierbas"
In German it's "Unkraut" which could either be interpreted as "not herb", "abnormal herb" or "evil herb". Is the range similar in Spanish?
My garden is all weeds. Tons of different plants, but some dominate in certain seasons, growing like 5 feet high. Seems to have avoided anything nasty though, no thistles, nettles or brambles.
My neighbour's garden is a thin layer of plastic astroturf. And they let a dog run about on it. Good luck getting dog diarrhoea out of that.
I know which I prefer.
If you are happy with the plants being where they are then they aren't weeds. The main problem is companies that sell plant killing chemicals and services treat the word 'weed' as if it had a universal meaning.
I wish someone had warned me before No Mow May about brambles.
1 shoulder injury and a year later I need chainmail gloves and a fucking flamethrower. I fill my green bin with brambles, by the time it's picked up they've grown back.
The main root is under a shed. I don't know how to eliminate it.
I don’t know if this will work on brambles, but for pesky root systems I’ve had luck with Bonide’s Stump and Vine killer. You cut near the base of one of them, then paint the exposed stem with this stuff. It absorbs into the root system and kills all of it. Works great on pokeweed.
Edit: Turns out this is just a specific brand of triclopyr herbicide like MoonMelon mentioned. So here’s another recommendation for triclopyr!
The worst I had to deal with was pampas grass, which appears to be a plant made of actual swords.
I spent three days hacking at it in a coat so I wouldn't get shredded. When I finally cut the root bulb out it was a cube of wood a foot across. I could barely lift it out, I had to roll it to the bin.
At least pampas grass doesn't spread.
The idea of “weeds” is a colonialist construct.
Yes, this was a real educational technicality fuckup, it seemed sus but everyone was like "don't you know it's a weed"? - "No, no I do not. And you don't even have a field to worry abut crop yields, it's just a lawn & now there is a flower in it, wtf."
I know it's economy (or even sociology), but it's too close to biology not to directly explain it properly.
Well, "weed" can be a legal definition. A lot of governments have a noxious weed list that either provides for consequences if you suffer that plant on your property, or just an excuse for the government to come on to your property to kill the weeds for you. For instance, Russian Olive is legally a "kill on sight" invasive plant in my area.
