Autism + male
It's like trying to find water deep in the desert.
You'll be lucky to find a mirage.
But most of the time you'll find others also trying to find water.
this post was submitted on 20 Jul 2025
54 points (95.0% liked)
Asklemmy
49509 readers
624 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy π
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- !lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~
founded 6 years ago
MODERATORS
Found someone with similar issues, and we are able to support each other in ways other people can't.
Well let's just say social anxiety doesn't help.
I prefer YYYY-MM-DD
Same, literally feel my blood pressure rise when presented a form that asks for MM-DD-YY(YY)
As someone with a mental disorder, I prefer DD(YY)MM
Gentlemen, this is a serious case.
I don't know if my autism has anything to do with it, but this is also my preferred dating format.
ISO 8601 gang #represent
nice try feds, I won't let you know if I have sex
ASPD here, like others with my condition I find it hard to have a relationship that goes on for more then a few weeks. I get bored of people really easily and I can't empathize with anyone else.
Unfortunately I am not really meant for the dating world. I have absolutely never had a libido, could never feel sexual pleasure, have extreme social anxiety, and am also too mentally unstable for people to be dealing with me all of the time. Growing up was sure odd to see people start pairing up with one another begining in my pre-teen years. At that time in my life I was too busy chanting insult words repeatedly to myself walking around the halls at school to really speak to other people too much.
Here I am as a full fledged adult now in my 30s. At least I've managed to stay employed so far with a decent career. But I've been causing issues at my job due to my instability that may threaten that.
But dating has never been in the cards for me. I've never really done it and will definitely die alone. It's weird because at least a part of me is still human and still needs human connection.
sigh
Idk. Good luck out there, OP. What flavor of issues are causing you to struggle with it?
You sound asexual, have you tried dating other asexuals before?
Is that when you only date Canadians?
I never thought I would have a healthy relationship with ASD+ADHD. I found someone who is my equal and we have an extremely fulfilling relationship that's full of both amazing fun moments and frustrating ones, but we always understand each other. Which helps with our son as well, as he's a carbon copy of us.
This is awesome and is how i feel about my current relationship. We are only a few months in but it just feels right. We both have asd and adhd and she has a few extras. We both take meds to help manage it but we just... Understand each other.
Obviously it can fail, but we sure hope it doesnt.
Imo, a relationship with a mental disorder needs an understanding of the disorders of both parties. Both people having asd is kinda what i needed in my life as we understand eachother and our own quirks and know what helps or how to deal with them
Everytime I think I'm doing well enough to "put myself out there" I crash out again. I think I'll probably die alone.
same as everybodys else
I don't know. I never date without.
Agreed. It has odd syntax. Not unlike dating ADHD+THC, I'm sure.
The mixture of the racing thoughts that come with hyperactivity plus my own attachment issues derived from a difficult and physically abusive childhood have made me someone who gets easily triggered by even a semblance of disregard or lack of kindness, and then I start yelling... I've had to consciously change my understanding of the world and I'm still trying to properly use the mental tools required to stop/slow the negative thoughts that end in me getting upset. The one lady I fell for and dated years before I met my now wife broke up with me because of my anger and proclivity for starting arguments, after all. Outside of relationships, I used to pick fights at the slightest indication of perceived danger/disrespect, something I had to get out of my system as well to live in society. In my defense, being in the FFL for 5 years was not helpful in trying to push down/recalibrate my aggression. But, with my wife's help, I've managed to reach a 'healthy' and stable point in my life, and I'm sharing this today so y'all don't lose hope. πβ€οΈ
You know? Thank you. I found a lot in there to mull over, and it seems to lead toward clarity βso, that's a bonus! ππΌββοΈβπΌ
It sucks. And for many years I avoided building a relationship, as much as I wanted to. Because I knew the shit that could happen, knowing how I am. But, in order to really live, you have to jump in the pool and get muddy. With the proper therapeutic treatment to go with it, of course.
If I have one? Of course I have one! Everyone does nowadays!
Autism, depression, anxiety, ADHD. I'm not dating, and I don't plan on it until I'm the fuck out of America forever.
I have all four of those things too. I wanna date but its hard. I desperatly want to meet someone but I'm shy and I feel I haven't much to offer her right now. I wanna leave this country at some point too but it's hard. I need to get back to language learning, it'll help with that I think.
Dating is non-existent for me as I have BPD, which makes socializing really hard, in general.
I have schizophrenia.. Iβm better off alone.
I've met schizophrenics in loving relationships. I don't have it so I don't claim to know what it's like but it's no reason to give up.
I'm also schizophrenic and in a loving relationship for almost 4 years. Dating was hell sometimes. Most of the time told it a second date. I don't remember how many I have been gohsted or told they can't date someone with multiple personalities (which isn't schizophrenia of course), told them that and moved on.
But after my diagnose I had more good contacts with dating then bad. Before my current relationship. I had a relationship of about a year. It ended, but we are still friends.
And I know many people with schizophrenia that are in a happy relationship. Some with children.
So I don't know your situation, but having schizophrenia isn't necessary a deal breaker for some people. Dating is something on it's own and yes having any mental health issues makes it harder. But there are loving people that can love you for the person you are β₯οΈ
Schizophrenia wouldn't be a deal breaker for me in the slightest. The ones I've met are pretty normal, chill people.
I appreciate your story.. Iβll keep it in mind.
How would you know?
Nonexistent.
I have a touch of the tism. Dating isnβt for me
Everybody is their own person and dating may not be for you, but autism does not have to mean that. I have a diagnosed autistic friend who dated so much they have two spouses now.
Are they prepping for the collapse of civilization? Pre-building a tribe? It might actually work, but I have so many questions.
No theyβre kind of just doing their thing how their thing feels best to them
don't date ; just mental