this post was submitted on 22 Jul 2025
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[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 74 points 5 days ago (2 children)

My kids have been using cocaine to finish their math homework. It's funny, their grades have gotten worse.

I only code with cocaine now, it's so much faster.

I read a book the other day that was written with cocaine. It was called Maximum Overdrive by Stephen King.

...wait.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Maximum Overdrive is a movie and is based on a short story called Trucks.

[–] ZeffSyde@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

If there is one thing I'm angry about, it's that I missed the hundred year window when insane/drugged up people could write some nonsense over a lost weekend and get published for big bucks.

I was born 1-10 decades too late.

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

You can still do it, you just need to get famous first

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[–] paranoia@feddit.dk 51 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It's important to be wary of misinformation with generative cocaine

There is a serious risk that companies will try to replace workers with cocaine.

[–] Hadriscus@jlai.lu 13 points 5 days ago

generative cocaine 😂

[–] mle86@feddit.org 35 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Lol, reminds me of the good old "cloud to butt" browser extension from way back when cloud was the new shit everyone pushed.

[–] toynbee@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago

I was going to say almost the same thing.

When that plug-in came out, I installed it on a rarely used laptop then immediately forgot about it and didn't use the laptop for a while.

Then I pulled out the laptop to research electric cars. For a long time I thought "atomic cat" was just some weird slang for electric cars, since it showed up everywhere.

Wow, I completely forgot about that hype train!

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago

I've been saying ai is the new cloud buzzword corporate bullshit since the media has been paid off to report endlessly on it. Luckily it wont last.

[–] zerozaku@lemmy.world 36 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

All the big companies in the Silicon Valley are investing hugely into cocaine.

[–] lemmy_outta_here@lemmy.world 23 points 5 days ago (1 children)

« My cocaine provider just switched from a free to a subscription model. »

[–] RickyRigatoni@retrolemmy.com 7 points 5 days ago

That's how they get ya.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 26 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

"Cocaine chatbot urges man to commit suicide."

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[–] rozodru@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

"I'm a vibe coder, I use cocaine daily. All I have to do is come up with a prompt and let the cocaine do the rest. it's at the point now all my managers insist I use cocaine to meet deadlines."

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 16 points 5 days ago

"It's arguably okay to use cocaine for silly purposes so long as everyone knows you're using it, but cocaine should never replace paid, qualified experts."

[–] lazylion_ca@lemmynsfw.com 29 points 5 days ago (4 children)

There used to be a browser addon called cloud2butt which would replace the cloud with the word butt. This made discussions about hosting things on someone else's computer rather amusing.

Someone should make an ai to cocaine addon.

[–] Broadfern@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

No longer having to rely on corporate butt solutions for your personal files!

Free trial butt services, with limited up/down speeds then $69/month. For more butt privileges that you can share with your team, upgrade to our $999 yearly ultra fast butt. Comes with personalized on-demand customer care!

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[–] moopet@sh.itjust.works 15 points 5 days ago

My feed is now full of cocaine slop.

[–] cuerdo@lemmy.world 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

teenagers are getting companies started using cocaine, while 40 year olds are just using it for fun

[–] wildncrazyguy138@fedia.io 6 points 5 days ago

Middle aged folks are using cocaine for emails and productivity, teenagers are using it as a life coach.

[–] foggianism@lemmy.world 15 points 5 days ago
[–] fmtx@lemmy.blahaj.zone 18 points 5 days ago

🎶She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie, AI🎵

Yeah that doesn't work at all 🤣

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 9 points 4 days ago

"Students are increasingly using cocaine to do their homework."

[–] stopforgettingit@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Cocaine is revolutionizing workplace productivity, its transforming daily work routines by our enhancing efficiency.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I "laid off" all my staff to get cocaine!

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 3 points 4 days ago

Cocaine sure is getting lots of people laid (off)

[–] Lightfire228@pawb.social 9 points 5 days ago

"I'm a vibe coder, which just means i use cocaine to write the code for me"

[–] ICastFist@programming.dev 9 points 5 days ago

Pfft, kids these days can't do anything without cocaine.

Oh my good, I should've used cocaine sooner!!! It's so amazing!!!!

[–] ano_ba_to@sopuli.xyz 9 points 5 days ago

Careful, this might get picked up as training data.

[–] njm1314@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Yes I was alive in the '80s I remember.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago (5 children)

Flip the script.

If you want to hang out, you've gotta take her out, AI

If you want to get down, down on the ground, AI

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

AI

If you got bad news, you want to kick them blues, AI

When your day is done, and you want to run, AI

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

AI

If your day is gone, and you want to ride on, AI

Don't forget this fact, you can't get it back, AI

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie

AI

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

^ The lyrics were wrong, fixed 'em. They were AI results. How's that for irony?

(Yes, I replied to my own comment. For some reason I can no longer edit my own posts.)

I do AI, so I can work longer, so I can earn more, so I can do more AI

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[–] Booboofinget@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (2 children)

She don't lie, she don't lie, she don't lie..AI.

I wonder what Clapton will have to say about that.

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[–] MudMan@fedia.io 8 points 5 days ago (4 children)

"I asked cocaine to make me a birthday card for my nephew. It's not as polished as the one I bought in the shop, but the cocaine one was a lot cheaper"

It... may not cover every scenario.

"I refuse to watch that one Argentinian TV show that has a shot made with some cocaine". Better, but bit harsh. Maybe there's some value to it.

"Cocaine is fairly practical to tell me things I can verify at a glance, but I wouldn't trust everything it says". See, that one works worse that the real one.

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[–] TheBat@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Using cocaine comes with a significant energy price tag.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Using cocaine in vibe coding saves me hours of work!

They're gonna replace 50% of lawyers with cocaine in the next 6 months!

[–] diemartin@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (2 children)

Just call post=$(sed -e 's/ai/cocaine/g' <<< "$post") in a loop

[–] addie@feddit.uk 11 points 5 days ago

That sounds pcocainenful.

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[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Can I just replace AI with cocaine?

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[–] MoonRaven@feddit.nl 6 points 5 days ago

I do microdose on coccocainene from time to time.

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago (4 children)

It works surprisingly well, turning Snowflame, objectively the most singularly perfect villain ever to come from dc, into a techbro.

[–] user1234@lemmynsfw.com 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Just be sure not to use a recursive algorithm on that.

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[–] Zapados@sh.itjust.works 5 points 5 days ago

CocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocCocERR

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