Ask Lemmy

Nope. I usually think "I should go out more" and then when I'm still recovering two days later I think "Ah, this is why I don't go out more."

I'm queer and once had a date with a black woman from the States while living in Dublin, Ireland. She asked me if I could be her local tourist guide. Sure thing!

Walked her all across the shitty overpriced city centre. At some point she asked me:

"Am I the only black person around here?"

Eventually decided to ditch the CC and take a taxi to my local area.

Waltzed into my regular pub holding hands, cuddeling.

The entire place filled with white cis locals went dead silent like in a bad cliche movie.

"Harry, two pints of the black stuff, will ye?"

Peeps realised that at least I was a local and continued minding their own business.

Jeez...

Every time I go out.

At most social events like disco, big parties etc, where the goal is wrecking your liver and dance to shitty music, while losing your hearing in the meantime.

Even with some friends, you cannot talk to them because everything is loud or stinks like shitty cigarettes. What's the point?

i'm usually not very aware of my own mental state but there have been at least two times where my brain has just clicked into "we need to go home" mode and i've stood up and left in the middle of a conversation. makes me wonder how many times i've missed that queue and become grumpy as a result. i know at least one time where i basically just couldn't muster the effort to emote anymore and basically shut down.

Every. Single. Time.

Spent my 20s in bars all over the place. I remember several times, sitting in a new place, thinking, "I've been here 100 times already."

Now that I hardly go to bars, my wife and I like to hit a dive now and again. Apparently they don't have shitty places quite like that in the Philippines. She gets so cute and happy, totally novel experience for her. And if they have karaoke? Game. On.

I try to avoid going out at annoying times - e.g., rush hour, school zones, restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night. That helps a lot.

Never be scared to duck out early from something that is not fulfilling. I've left group gatherings to go hiking solo because it was more enjoyable.

Yes. I only want to go out to quieter places, where you can hear yourself think and talk: parks (nature in general), libraries, museums, coffee shops, bookstores, quirky mom and pop shops, tiny restaurants, etc.

Otherwise, I’d much rather stay at home.

My old high school friends were all extroverts who loved going out to bars and clubs, drinking heavily (and smoking), and skirt-chasing. That’s what hanging out meant. One day, in my mid-twenties, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I realized “I’m not having any fun with these people at all.” So I ghosted all of them. I feel guilty about it at times, but I had to.

Last Sunday. A friend asked me to go with him to town, normally I say no but I figured I would just because I usually don't.

We went to town and went to a store. As we were about to leave, his truck wouldn't start. (The starter was fried.) Ended up having to walk a mile and a half to his nephew's place, then got a ride back to my friend's truck, towed it to his brother's shop, and after borrowing some tools I ended up pulling the starter off a car in the middle of a field, and installing it in his truck so we could finally head back home.

What was supposed to be an enjoyable hour or so ended up taking most of the afternoon and I ended up covered in oil and mud and sore as hell by the time I finally got back to my house.

I mean posing the question like that is kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, no?

On the other hand, as neurodivergent this hits everytime I leave the house.

I tend to enjoy it once Im out, it's just overcoming that inertia to go out that's hard for me

Every time someone nearly changes lanes into me, or slams their brakes, or whatever. I like operating a motor vehicle. I hate other drivers.

Ohh yes, but usually at event stuff because of the crowd and noise, and parking if i drivin.

But 100% of the time it's when i go for a movie, it's too cold if there's no crowd, too noisy and 80% chance of people kicking my seat if full. I pay money to have my experience soured by either the venue or peoples. No thanks.

Every time I'm in a mall or restaurant and see a flock of yelling and otherwise poorly behaved kids and their useless parents.

Yes. And I don’t entirely understand why most other people don’t.

Being poor will do that.

Liking the destination or specific people you’re with really has to outweigh the crowds, the effort and the cost to be remotely worth it and that’s exceedingly rare.

Occasional game nights/potlucks with friends and family though can be nice.

No. Never had that thought.

Any night that I'm just sitting alone at home I consider kind of a disappointment. I try to at least go for a walk or something.

I think Lemmy (and maybe social media in general) might have a greater proportion of people who don't like going out and being social.

No, but I usually go to places I want to go to

people have been more gross since they lifted mask protocols, they dont cover thier mouths when they cough excessively, and they are spreading colds and covid around. cant challenge them, because of how politicla it has beocme they become hositle.

Most of the time I have the opposite. I dread going out, and hope that the plans get canceled. But when I'm there I really do enjoy it, and I'm glad I didn't pussy out.

Once and a while I go to the Movies and often end up asking why I thought it was a good idea to pay exorbitant prices for the 30 mins of mixed ads/previews, all for a cliche plot of yet another reboot. Which inspires me to not go to the movies for another 6 months or year, and just go for a run outside.

Never but I say "this is why I don't party for 24+ hours". A good party or event shouldn't overstay its welcome as experience quickly declines once everyone tires out and start making mistakes and get into intoxicated/tired arguments.

Nope, though occasionally I will think "this wasn't the best choice today" (usually because I'm much more tired than I thought I'd be when commiting to going out).

I can't go anywhere with noisy crowds. The sensory stimulation is too much for me. It's not fun feeling ready to snap at any moment. Anytime I try going to the wrong kind of places I will regret it, so yeah.

Almost daily!

I'm so glad I'm here I can't wait to leave

I will do anything to avoid going to the store on Sunday. It took me too long to learn.

Nah I love going out

No because anything is better than being surrounded by hostile people in your own home 24/7.