this post was submitted on 18 Sep 2025
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[–] Tedesche@lemmy.world 2 points 21 hours ago

Only if I wind up around a lot of other people. People’s behavior in crowds and public transport tends to piss me off to an irrational degree.

[–] GrayBackgroundMusic@lemmy.zip 8 points 2 days ago

Every time someone nearly changes lanes into me, or slams their brakes, or whatever. I like operating a motor vehicle. I hate other drivers.

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 90 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Nope. I usually think "I should go out more" and then when I'm still recovering two days later I think "Ah, this is why I don't go out more."

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago (1 children)

And when you look at your bank account the next day

[–] Nemo@slrpnk.net 11 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Why would I do that to myself, I wait for the credit card statement and take it all in at a gulp

[–] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 13 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If I don't look at my account online, does it even really exist?

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If an empty bank account is unobserved, is it truly empty?

The amount of money I don't have remains the same, does it not?

[–] Alcoholicorn@mander.xyz 3 points 2 days ago

Banks charging you for not having enough in your bank account, then "protecting" you from that overdraft for 40 dollars tells us an empty bank account contains approximately -100 dollars.

relevant (?) Bill Watterson

[–] Yeahigotskills2@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yep. It's somewhat ingrained in UK culture, at least for people of my gen. I'm 48 this weekend, and plan on staying in with my fam and maybe having a few beers. But that's only because I'm off for a city break with friends next week to see The Beta Band and basically eat and drink for 2 days. Can't wait.

[–] dil@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

Yep, I always try to keep it going a 2nd day too extending my hangover to a week

[–] AmanitaCaesarea@slrpnk.net 5 points 2 days ago

Most of the time I have the opposite. I dread going out, and hope that the plans get canceled. But when I'm there I really do enjoy it, and I'm glad I didn't pussy out.

[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 60 points 3 days ago (2 children)

I'm queer and once had a date with a black woman from the States while living in Dublin, Ireland. She asked me if I could be her local tourist guide. Sure thing!

Walked her all across the shitty overpriced city centre. At some point she asked me:

"Am I the only black person around here?"

Eventually decided to ditch the CC and take a taxi to my local area.

Waltzed into my regular pub holding hands, cuddeling.

The entire place filled with white cis locals went dead silent like in a bad cliche movie.

"Harry, two pints of the black stuff, will ye?"

Peeps realised that at least I was a local and continued minding their own business.

Jeez...

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 35 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Tribal mentality. A lot of people conform to the 'Hate them... not you though, you're one of ours' mindset.

"Fucking hate poofs. Not Barry though, he grew up around here, he's alright."

"We should shoot all the [insert racist bollocks here]. Not Abdul who runs the corner shop though, he calls me 'boss' when I go in."

Etc. If only their sense of tribe extended a bit further.

[–] rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 days ago (1 children)

No idea if you already know these places (you probably do) but The Cobblestone, Peader Brown's, and McDowells are all great pubs that are perfectly happy serving a drink to anyone of any orientation.

Sorry for the bother if you already know.

[–] TotallyNotSpezUpload@startrek.website 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Those places are lovely, of course I know then - I'm from there :D

[–] rambling_lunatic@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Fair play to you :)

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

Never be scared to duck out early from something that is not fulfilling. I've left group gatherings to go hiking solo because it was more enjoyable.

[–] remon@ani.social 38 points 3 days ago

Every time I go out.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago

people have been more gross since they lifted mask protocols, they dont cover thier mouths when they cough excessively, and they are spreading colds and covid around. cant challenge them, because of how politicla it has beocme they become hositle.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Spent my 20s in bars all over the place. I remember several times, sitting in a new place, thinking, "I've been here 100 times already."

Now that I hardly go to bars, my wife and I like to hit a dive now and again. Apparently they don't have shitty places quite like that in the Philippines. She gets so cute and happy, totally novel experience for her. And if they have karaoke? Game. On.

[–] TimewornTraveler@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It sounds like your wife just likes to party! Cuz I can assure you Manilla is filled with shitty dive bars too haha. It's just also filled with amazing people who love to love and love to party. Filipinas rock! You two must have so much fun

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

LOL, I assumed so! And she's from Manila! Seems redneck dive bars are novel for some reason. And despite the bars we've hit being full-on poor rednecks, no one blinks at the Asian chick, everyone very nice.

We haven't been for awhile. The one we like just can't stay in business for long. Too far outside town, and we're on the edge, but not far enough to be the only bar.

You've inspired me to take her out tomorrow night! We're broke, but we can blow a bit on pool and beers.

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That feeling of all the bars being so similar was an early prelude to stopping going out all the time for me. I always thought it was weird that I never missed something I spent 5 - 7 days a week doing for over a decade. When the novelty wore off it was so easy to just never go back.

[–] shalafi@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Now that I'm older, and laid off the bar scene for a decade+, it's like coming home. Still, only fun a couple of times a year. And now I don't smoke, and we can't smoke inside, so I'm not coughing my lungs out the next morning.

[–] viking@infosec.pub 7 points 2 days ago

Every time I'm in a mall or restaurant and see a flock of yelling and otherwise poorly behaved kids and their useless parents.

[–] Wild_Mastic@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (4 children)

At most social events like disco, big parties etc, where the goal is wrecking your liver and dance to shitty music, while losing your hearing in the meantime.

Even with some friends, you cannot talk to them because everything is loud or stinks like shitty cigarettes. What's the point?

[–] novibe@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Why would you ever go to parties with shitty music? The goal is to go to parties where the djs are good and playing music you like.

The parties with shitty music where everyone is getting shitfaced are for hooking up, that’s the primary goal for those and for the people that attend them. If that’s not your goal you’re obviously not gonna enjoy it.

If you want to go out to dance to good music, there’s also parties for that, where people might drink but no one is getting shitfaced. People might be getting high in other ways, but still, no one is getting shitfaced.

And idk, is it really crazy to understand why human beings, a species that evolved for millions of years to be the most social species outside of insects, would enjoy going to social events..?

You might just be ND, and that’s fine. But it’s really like 0 brain effort to try to understand this.

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[–] Strider@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

I mean posing the question like that is kind of a self fulfilling prophecy, no?

On the other hand, as neurodivergent this hits everytime I leave the house.

[–] lost_faith@lemmy.ca 17 points 3 days ago

Every. Single. Time.

[–] zod000@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

All the fucking time.

[–] nutsack@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 2 days ago

I try to remember what I don't like doing so that I can do something that I like doing instead next time

[–] lime@feddit.nu 19 points 3 days ago (1 children)

i'm usually not very aware of my own mental state but there have been at least two times where my brain has just clicked into "we need to go home" mode and i've stood up and left in the middle of a conversation. makes me wonder how many times i've missed that queue and become grumpy as a result. i know at least one time where i basically just couldn't muster the effort to emote anymore and basically shut down.

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[–] klemptor@startrek.website 13 points 3 days ago

I try to avoid going out at annoying times - e.g., rush hour, school zones, restaurants on a Friday or Saturday night. That helps a lot.

[–] Photuris@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Yes. I only want to go out to quieter places, where you can hear yourself think and talk: parks (nature in general), libraries, museums, coffee shops, bookstores, quirky mom and pop shops, tiny restaurants, etc.

Otherwise, I’d much rather stay at home.

My old high school friends were all extroverts who loved going out to bars and clubs, drinking heavily (and smoking), and skirt-chasing. That’s what hanging out meant. One day, in my mid-twenties, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I realized “I’m not having any fun with these people at all.” So I ghosted all of them. I feel guilty about it at times, but I had to.

[–] MaggiWuerze@feddit.org 6 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

You could've also talked to them about it. Ghosting is such an asshole move, making them question whether it was their fault, when in reality you just reached the conclusion that you want to spend your free time differently

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[–] drmoose@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Never but I say "this is why I don't party for 24+ hours". A good party or event shouldn't overstay its welcome as experience quickly declines once everyone tires out and start making mistakes and get into intoxicated/tired arguments.

Nope, though occasionally I will think "this wasn't the best choice today" (usually because I'm much more tired than I thought I'd be when commiting to going out).

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 10 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Last Sunday. A friend asked me to go with him to town, normally I say no but I figured I would just because I usually don't.

We went to town and went to a store. As we were about to leave, his truck wouldn't start. (The starter was fried.) Ended up having to walk a mile and a half to his nephew's place, then got a ride back to my friend's truck, towed it to his brother's shop, and after borrowing some tools I ended up pulling the starter off a car in the middle of a field, and installing it in his truck so we could finally head back home.

What was supposed to be an enjoyable hour or so ended up taking most of the afternoon and I ended up covered in oil and mud and sore as hell by the time I finally got back to my house.

[–] Pat_Riot@lemmy.today 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

An afternoon wrenching after a short adventure with my buddies sounds like a day well spent to me.

[–] Rocketpoweredgorilla@lemmy.ca 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

If it was planned out and some beer was involved it would have been a lot better IMO... I had already spent the entire morning mowing my buddy's yard and trimming trees for him, so my batteries were already low before all that happened.

[–] petrichornetrainfall@piefed.social 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

You seem like an amazing and reliable friend. I hope you're not afraid of being an amazing and reliable friend to yourself too, sounds like you deserve it.

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[–] tetris11@feddit.uk 8 points 3 days ago

I tend to enjoy it once Im out, it's just overcoming that inertia to go out that's hard for me

[–] Reverendender@sh.itjust.works 7 points 3 days ago

Yes. And I don’t entirely understand why most other people don’t.

[–] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago

Ohh yes, but usually at event stuff because of the crowd and noise, and parking if i drivin.

But 100% of the time it's when i go for a movie, it's too cold if there's no crowd, too noisy and 80% chance of people kicking my seat if full. I pay money to have my experience soured by either the venue or peoples. No thanks.

[–] jjjalljs@ttrpg.network 5 points 3 days ago

No. Never had that thought.

Any night that I'm just sitting alone at home I consider kind of a disappointment. I try to at least go for a walk or something.

I think Lemmy (and maybe social media in general) might have a greater proportion of people who don't like going out and being social.

[–] dil@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Usually the opposite, maybe branch out and find new friends (don't have to lose the old ones lol) I could have fun wherever going out with the right people.

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