Ask Lemmy

Choking on cock

Excessive "oh yeah" 'ing, like it's better to be quiet than make fake ass noises to play it up.

Excessive choking

shouldn't there be an nsfw tag on this?

usually, cumming

Aaaahhhhhhh. Sssssssssss. Aaaahhhhhhhh. Sssssssssss. Aaaaahhhhhhhh.

Audio that doesn't match video.

All that annoying nudity.

Having human beings and being live action.

Censoring.

Most other things I dislike can be removed via clipping or cropping

straights,

Like seriously, im not Here for sexism...

Cocks. I don't like to see them.

Anything that plays at being gross. Like ass eating. Talking about family members. Like this girl really doesn't want to mess with her father or her brother, but Game of Thrones was huge so everyone wants to play into it. Kills the mood instantly. Just not into it. Even if it's two chicks, if they're pretending to be sisters or mother/daughter, it just kills it. Most people aren't into that for real, but "I wouldn't want to bang my sister but I want to watch you bang yours... to me it's the same.

Anything that plays at it being an ad. Teasing. Reference to commercial sites. "Only Fans." Back in the day, we kind of had a renaissance. Anyone with a camera could upload. Yeah occasionally you got teenagers doing dumb shit and if you suspected it, you didn't look at that. But a lot of college age couples were just having fun, fooling around, good times. A lot of those videos aren't in anything close to HD though, but are still worth watching from time to time.

Actors looking directly into the camera outside of pov shots… like c'mon, who tf wants a fourth wall break in this sort of material?

When the dialogue isn't getting picked up properly by the mics. Fair enough if it's indie stuff but if it's professionally produced, surely they could afford to shell out for a boom mic. Perhaps it's just a mixing issue. Either way, it's annoying. Idk, maybe add subs.

british accents.

The guy getting his ass eaten or the guy playing with his own nipples. (Yes this is straight porn I'm referring too.)

The number one thing to ruin a porn video is my ejaculating about 10 seconds earlier.

• Prolonged close-ups and shitty camera angels in general. Do I really need to see 47 seconds of a dick sliding in and out of a pussy in 1080p?
• Seeing how badly porn actresses have aged, it seems you either quit while you're ahead, or move to Vegas get bolt on tits and lipfillers and gain 20 pounds, there seems to be no in between.
• Blood, I see even the tiniest speck of crimson red on the screen and I'm out.

I'd say everything else is just specific to taste. Something not being my kink doesn't ruin a video for me, it just doesn't interest me in the first place.