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I used to spend at least one day a week with my friends, and when I was in a motorcycle club it was often far more.
Now I run my own business and have no free time really and when I do its recharge time and time spent with my wife.
I see my mates maybe once or twice a month now
You guys have friends?
Quite regularly, but only because I coincidentally moved into a house across the road from an acquaintance that became a good friend. We go over each other's house for tea, or board games, or casual multiplayer video games.
If it weren't for that proximity I'd say I'd very rarely spend time with friends. Life is busy. Work wants 40 or more hours a week, then you've got chores, shopping, study (if you're doing that, I was studying full time for a year and a bit recently), then you just need time for personal hobbies and relaxation. On top of that, other people can be flaky, or just busy with their own things.
Frequency varies, sometimes monthly, sometimes not. All of my friends have dispersed across the country, got married, got divorced, bought houses, went crazy...the usual.
The one thing I need to say here is if that there is a real friend in your life that you value, you still have to invest in that friendship. Once you leave high school/college it's not just "hanging out". No one has that kind of free time anymore. If you really value a friendship, make sure you put in the effort. Don't hang on to one-sided friendships where you are the only one trying, but make sure you're putting in the effort in an actual good friendship. I know it doesn't seem like that and you have that vibe that makes you think you'll always be friends, but adult friendships take more than just a vibe.
Some friends or groups of friends I see annually, one we make sure to at least get together monthly or others every few months, another I'll talk with more often if we can't make time for being there in person, some text everyday or close to it, etc. I think it depends on the nature of the relationship.
It varies wildly but averages somewhere between once and twice a week. We do potlucks together, meet up for MTG at each others houses and local card shops, we go to community events together, and we do Parents Nights Out to eat good food and chat. We also do kids play groups which is not explicitly for the adults but it totally is.
Margery Green Taylor
Almost 38, I spend all my free time with my wife. Started off more balanced before we moved for my work, and the more I focused on time with her, the happier we were. I hang out with work friends occasionally.
My pre marriage friends became vile, Trump-worshipping, incel assholes, so I am very content with my decisions.
Edited for typo
Try to do online games with my best friend once a week, I do jams with people in public once or twice a week, will probably be dancing in some capacity once a week, and I’ve got a second date coming up soon. Then there’s weekly D&D, of course, and any of the unique plans that come up during the week.
Of course non of that stops me feeling sorry for myself when I have even one day where I lay around and do nothing but I try to just let the feeling pass instead of worrying about it too much.
57, almost never, it's mostly family and work. We do have parties about 2-3 times a year that include whoever wants to come, that gets some friends. But really almost never, family got so big that it's a big network of people and that's most of our entertaining.
Do you not have hobbies? Not even once a week or month?
Oh yes, I go to yoga, see people and talk to them. Sometimes games with my (grown) kids, I cook and bake and garden, Pokemon go raid hour I see the same people a lot, and at work of course. I like the neighbors too. Just nobody seems to invite anyone 'round.
All the time.
Im broke, once a month or every two months, can't relate to my back home friends after moving back, my college friends are very spread out, we still meet up for raves, they meet more often, I can't make it as much
I miss just hanging out at houses and saving money, now that there is always a fat gap there is always a need to do some event
Fat gap?
I'm 56. I hang out with 5 to 6 friends 10 times a month on average. Mostly to play tabletop games. Sometimes I meet one or two for lunch.
What friends?
Once a month, when I lived in a place where I resided for multiple years. Now that I relocated and I know literally one person in a non-work capacity, once a quarter probably.
The big fall off is around 28-30 when most people are committing to families. After that you’re lucky to see them once and awhile.
once in a while
👍
Most weeks I go out and see a friend at least once. I prefer to go out twice a week though but I'm still establishing myself socially in a new city
I'm 31. The secret is hobbies and finding ways to make them social and actually making plans to hang out with friends. You can just invite another couple for dinner, or host a PowerPoint or board game party. Seriously ask yourself if you have friends who might be interested in a Halloween party if you don't have plans to attend one.
I’ve got one friend who’s super social but doesn’t have many friends herself, so she tries to see me almost every day. Realistically I probably see her 2-3 times per month. Other than her, I only really have two friends I hang out with in person. Each one is probably once a month or so, maybe every other month. I’ve also got a friend I like to play games online with, that used to be a weekly thing one time but we haven’t played together in a few months. I’ve got a little bit of time off work right now so I should probably try to hop on with him before I go back.
If you count discord, just about every night. We have a whole list of things we rotate between from movies, games, and brain rot videos.
In person, once every few months. We get together for some holidays, events, etc.
I'm 48. I have a few buddies that I rarely see in my hometown. I travel once or twice a year on a city break to drink and eat with a few old pals.
But yeah, generally I don't not hang with anyone outside my own wife and kids and extended fam. This isn't through choice, it just seems to be the way things have gone.
30 here and all of my friends are people I met online. We chat every day, but only see each other for a weekend every few years at a convention. My friends are all younger than me with some finishing up college and others just having full time jobs. None have a wife and/or kids though (hell I'm the only one in the group with actual relationship experience with only 1 other having experience in just random 1 night hookups).
I see friends every weekday when I walk my kids to school and whenwthe kids have playdates, and when I take my kids to the school playground on the weekend. And on bowling night once a week, and on band night once a week (but I don't go every week). Also I'm married to my best friend.
35+, many times a week if you count discord and gaming. Otherwise maybe once every six months, unless you count sports, then maybe once a week on average.
Probably several times a year. My best mate lives in a different country, everyone has young kids so things always take ages to arrange.
Really, society needs more part-time jobs. 4 hoursa day, or 3 days of 10 hours should be the standard. That way, you can throw the rest into actually taking care of yourself and your family.
4 days at 10 hours with 3 days off is the way, as long as work-life balance is respected by the job. That would definitely go a long way towards both aligning schedules and giving enough time to address other needs with some leftover for personal care and maintaining social connections.
Not to say I don't appreciate finally having a full-time gig that at least gives me weekends off, which I desperately needed after years of irregular part-time work that made it impossible to plan my life more than two weeks out and never seemed to align my days off with other people. But I already essentially work 7:00-17:00 Monday through Friday (and of course that extra time over 40 hours isn't paid). The 10 hour days aren't a problem for me, but I would really like to have an extra day off in compensation for that.
I try to see someone at least weekly.
Getting close to 40 and I spend time with friends probably on average 2-3 times a week. I'm a sociable person but do have a low social battery, so need a lot of time alone/just with my partner. Me and some close friends put on music events so we naturally spend a lot of time together which is nice.
Not often enough. Some friends have multiple kids and others with multiple jobs but we try to hang at least every few weeks.
I have no friends
Some friends I see more often than others, just by virtue of schedules coinciding a bit more conveniently. I try to see someone in person once a week or so. Usually we can get larger groups together for occasions like birthdays and holidays.
Some friends moved too far away to see regularly, but we still keep in touch online, sometimes with video games. I count this separately from the "once a week" statistic above.
There are a small number of former friends (I don't even want to say former because I still like them, even though I haven't seen or heard from them in years) who just drifted apart due to differences in interests or just being too caught up in their own priorities to make time (getting married, having kids, juggling multiple jobs, etc.), but the majority of my friend group with kids still make effort to spend time together, and we never mind the kiddos being part of the social fabric either, so as not to make it feel like the kids are any sort of barrier to hanging out.
It varies, but typically like 1-5 days a week.
Not that often actually. But every time we meet, its very enjoyable. I guess i just feel pretty happy with just me and my girlfriend.
D&D every other week! Unless we have scheduling conflicts, which happens often!
I’m 28. I hang out with one friend at least 1-3 times a week. I see the rest of them once every few months, but we’re all in discord pretty frequently. I also have friends in the local kink scene I see relatively often depending on how many events I go to.
