GOD DAMNIT
I saw "Trump, 79..." And my heart thought that was an obituary and it knew joy. For one minor fleeting second.
this post was submitted on 13 Oct 2025
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I saw the title and was gonna get ready to piss on a grave
Stay in limbo for eternity you fat rapist pedophile
"Hey! Welcome to Heaven! Congratulations! You lived a virtuous life free of sin and full of good deeds. How would you like to spend eternity?"
"Where's Donald Trump!?!?"
"Uhh...he's very much in Hell...he wasn't exactly...Heaven...material."
"Yeah, I know. I'd like to spend my eternity in Hell watching him burn!"
"sighs Are you sure? This is an eternity you're talking about here."
"Did I stutter?"
"sighs loudly No...no you didn't, portal opens..."
"Ok, but all the good seats are taken. You'll be way in the back at this point."
It is hell after all
I don't think even Hell wants him at this point
Oh, wow, really? Ok, was it all the child raping and the life of crime that makes him think this?
That would require heaven to be real first. Old man turnip knows this. We all saw how he holds a bible. His fundie bootlickers should realize this but since he hates the same things they do they're blinded to the fact he hates them too.
And fuck Stephen Miller.
I don't know that President Pedophile actually knows that heaven isn't real.
He has the same understanding of heaven that my dad has. He believes if he is what he thinks a Christian is, he can just pretend to be sorry at the end and God has to let him in. However, he's never actually paid any attention to anything the Bible says about what Jesus is.
Also, if it's all just a bullshit scam to him, why would he ever suggest there's a possibility that God wouldn't embrace him? There's no benefit to that, only risk. What if some of his deluded followers start to question if he was really sent by God?
El Taco should have thought of that before he spent a lifetime as a rapist piece of shit. But maybe he can convert to Catholicism and buy off the Pope*!
*this is not how indulgences actually work and would not actually help
did you just post about how the christian kingdom of heaven works
“You cannot serve both God and money.” (Matthew 6:24)
“It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.” (Mark 10:25)
Kinda makes you wonder how it’s possible to be pro-capitalist and pro-Christian. Or.. in other words, how it’s possible to ever be in compliance with Trump’s NSPM #7.
Fun fact, "camel" is a transcription error. It's actually "It is easier for a (thick) rope to go through the eye of a needle..."
In the Greek the book is written in, κάμηλος means camel, while κάμιλος means (thick) rope. Translations in other languages of the time also say rope.
And just based on common sense, rope makes more sense.
So it's not a challenge for a rich person to extrude camels through eyes of needles?
God gives grace to those he blesses, or something idk.
I've actually been in a US Southern megachurch, that "interpreted" that verse.
They went on about how certain gates were called needles and camels fit through very nicely, they just had a different gate, maybe put down their stuff first.
I just remembered the gist: obey and God gives you stuff, your stuff is a symbol of your piety and proof that you are one of God's chosen.
Yeah, as you've surmised, all that stuff about a gate called The Eye of a Needle is a complete fiction and has no basis in fact.
Evangelical Christianity has a fair amount of that kind of thing because they start from a conclusion and fit the Bible to their pedagogical narrative, whether explicitly classist (in your megachurch example) or that the Bible is perfectly integral (that there are no contradictions or mistranslations).
The "prosperity gospel" nonsense gave us this cruel idiot Trump. Vance flew on the back of it with his book.
That is fun. TIL.
Acts 2:43-47 “Life Among Believers”
All who believed were together and had all things in common; they would sell their possessions and goods and distribute the proceeds to all, as any had need. Day by day, as they spent much time together in the temple, they broke bread at home and ate their food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having the goodwill of all the people.
The believers sold all their stuff, loved everyone, and things were great. If the US is a Christian nation, why aren’t we doing that? (Rhetorical)
Kinda makes you wonder how it’s possible to be pro-capitalist and pro-Christian.
Just say that you’re God’s special little boy. Then you’re free to commit as many sins you like.
No no, no - that's not it. You have to get your sycophants to say it.
Got excited when I read “Trump, 79,…”
Yeah, I still have champagne in the fridge from his last health scare.
If he's willing to admit that publicly, then I'll bet deep down he knows he's going down in the history books as one of the (if not the) worst presidents America ever had. It's a shame he's not likely to still be around to see the full devastation of the country his actions this year are about to lead to, and hopefully the ultimate rejection of everything he worked for once the sheep are finally no longer under his spell.
I think he thinks he's a great president, but knows all the raping, sexual assault, battery, and adultery are going to be a tough sell
Yeah, you're probably right - it's pretty typical for someone like that to justify the hate they get to themselves by telling themselves they're simply "misunderstood," and that people will learn to appreciate his "genius" later. MAGAt coping all the way to the top.
"Rumor has it he'll have gas under 2$/gal by December"
- coping magats
He's not going to live to see the midterms.
Stop, im gonna cum
This actually ties together a lot of his actions in the past while. This is what's on his mind.
He thinks a Nobel peace prize will cancel out the other stuff. But he thinks it's just the actual prize... Like it's a secret key... Not the being a good person who deserves the prize.
Maybe he's planning to argue his case with St. Peter and wants to accumulate proof of his deeds.
Start shaking down the Pope, and the priests and maybe he can get elected as a cardinal and then he can get the rules changed? Worked for him once, I mean...
Damn I'm surprised how confident he sounds about that