Ask Lemmy

Walking. Community involvement. Sitting in silence. Recognizing the task at hand and knowing I can find a way to get it done. A berry smoothie. A cup of tea.

I dont want to discourage you from getting clean and healthy, but you kind of can't feel the same joy from sobriety.

There are certain moments in life that will blow regular drugs out the water (cant speak for hard drugs/DMT), like getting married, seeing your kid get born, achieving a lifelong goal etc. The problem is they're just moments. Life is absolutely dull when sober, but once youre used to it its just fine.

Honestly pretty relatable. I had a bit of a “you’ll shoot your eye out” moment this summer. I got some flower for the first time in a while (it’s mostly a thc drink culture around me) and was smoking daily. For the next couple weeks the thought kept crossing my mind that maybe I should only smoke every other day to keep my tolerance creep slow and prevent what I call “zombie mode.”

I got to meet one of my favorite youtubers whose first video I had watched was this one “On Weed:” https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_pcavwJitC4

We talked a little and I asked if he still smokes. His answer? “Yeah, but only every other day.” To hear him echo the exact thing I had been considering internally really got me. I’ve been a lot better about keeping a day or more between getting high, and I have found that it has helped me enjoy being sober more as I have found things to do while sober, and also increased my enjoyment of getting high as I have more time to look forward to it and a lower tolerance that makes it easier to get to the right level.

I highly recommend it.

Sugar, chocolate, cookies and cakes.

I have never been high and don't really drink much. I have been mostly depressed since about 2013 but happy maybe here and there. The clean air a few months into lockdown was amazing though.

Do you exist solely to do drugs??

Never felt any impetus to drink, and I have a personal aversion to recreational drugs.

Without thinking too hard about it, I probably get the most joy from learning stuff, especially when it's within a topic of interest and has any level of application to my interests or skills. Bonus points when I make the connection myself.

I see other comments mentioning ADHD, so I'll add that I have a diagnosis for it as well.

Good question, though. It's been a while since I asked myself this, and I'm overdue for a reassessment. Thanks.

Maybe try being sober. Couldn't hurt your chances with women

How do you feel joy while using depressants like alcohol and weed? Personally I hate the loss of control, I feel less like myself, but I know everyone's different. To answer your question:

I go for walks and see the sunlight through the leaves. I ride my bike and, to paraphrase the poet, sing a song of the muscles of the leg. I read poetry. I hug my loved ones. I go dancing. I challenge myself with puzzles. I read YA fiction as a grown-ass adult just because I want the good guys to win every now and then.

Maybe you’re self medicating

I am in the same boat as you, but I agree with the other comments that say weed will make you ok with anything. Weed has always seemed like a good option for me due to (multiple sources of) chronic pain, but I can absolutely tell that it has affected me negatively over the years. I need a substantial lifestyle change at some point in the near future.. I need to reorganize my entire life, and also need to stop being a fat piece of shit.

Sugar

I rather enjoy alcohol and weed, but I find I enjoy them more the less I use them. I think once a week or biweekly is the sweet spot for me, though twice a week is ok. More than that and the fun diminishes and the negative effects are felt more. My main relaxing hobby is video games, and I like the idea of beers/weed and gaming, but it really sucks for anything that’s not really casual. I’ve been running through hollow knight this month and I’ve noticed when I do partake in either that it makes the platforming and bosses much harder

If you can't feel joy with substances that means you're an addict. You need professional help probably.

But speaking more generally, your issue is you think 'happiness' is an emotional high you have to chase. What you don't get is that happiness isn't some intense feeling of joy... it isn't. It's the ability to self-regulate and to stop chasing the highs and the lows. It's realizing the 'bland' feeling is good. You should be feeling bland.

Sport and board games.

Nothing like the adrenaline of sport. Capoeira, fencing, whatever...I think having no power, being completely depleted after doing sport is one of the best feelings.

Boardgames: simply a decent combination of strategy, luck and talking, that keeps you engaged.

Give consentual pets.

What's your sober life like?

Weed gives me anxiety attacks and I'm allergic to alcohol.

Walks, bike rides, outdoors. I often procrastinate but when I’m out I always am happy I’m out there.

I mean, I don't, but I didn't feel joy with them either.

I guess, sometimes there's a cat to pat.

Alcohol only gives you empty calories which fills your belly unnecessarily. So I drink it seldom, and tbh I still not get used for that burning tasteless liquid

I'm "differently happy" when I'm smoking, without it I just have more "empty moments" that need to be filled with engaging activities and social interactions else I'm restless. If you haven't tried going on a weed break, I highly recommend it. If anything, do it just to show you you can live without it. Again, it's gonna be really difficult if you're experiencing loneliness, IME the one thing that truly helped me battle the boredom was other people so maybe use that as motivation to engage more with your friends and family?

Alcohol doesn't do anything for me and I haven't drunk in ages.

I feel joy when I play boardgames or tabletop RPGs. With a good table, lots of banter and shit talking happens and that's perfect.

Never had weed. When I drink, I get more talkative, but it's a fine line before I get sleepy and depressed

I'm just sad all the time. When i drink i can stop being sad, and stop worrying about things like counting steps/breaths, the date, and whether the number of times i clicked my mouse was the right number before turning it off for the night.