this post was submitted on 09 Dec 2025
540 points (98.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38213 readers
5135 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I can only hold it so many ways!

top 35 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone 92 points 2 months ago (2 children)

me receiving all those guys nudes

[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 14 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Gonzako@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

That's me all right

[–] fartographer@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

That's entirely too many nudes. You need better acquaintances.

[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 41 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

So this one time there was this girl I was exchanging nudes with and I got daring and tried to send one that was kinda like front-facing and she said it looked like Thomas the Tank Engine and I never fully recovered from that.

[–] Obi@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 months ago

Lmao I have the picture in my head and yeah, it totally does look like Thomas the tank engine. She sounds like a keeper TBH.

[–] humorlessrepost@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

She has the train tunnel. Choo motherfuckin’ choo.

[–] nutbutter@discuss.tchncs.de 28 points 2 months ago (5 children)

Can someone provide references, and/or instructions for classy male nudes?

[–] Ediacarium@feddit.org 32 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Maybe something like this?

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Or this one while you are on the can. Women will then assume you are a thinker

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Legend has it Aristotle came to his best realisations on the can

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.zip 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Showerthought is can think (pun intended).

[–] SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

Everyone does

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 months ago

I never noticed how detailed the feet were before. Pretty impressive

[–] PrimeMinisterKeyes@leminal.space 27 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Not quite nude, but you get the idea:

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 9 points 2 months ago

This but unironically. The humor of this image, to me, is the juxtaposition of the character in the pose. But it's actually a pretty flattering pic.

[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 22 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Don't make your dick the main focus of the shot, it's typically not even in a woman's top three favorite features of a man. Women like a lot of the same things we do, butts, thighs, abs tend to be top of the list.

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Corkyskog@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 months ago

It really is or was when I first figured it out. If there is a sex scene that shows everything 9 times out of 10 they will talk about how nice the guys ass is. Funny enough the things guys focus on are typically at the end of the list dick, biceps, pecs. It makes sense if you think about it, a vagina isn't usually what guys focus on when they see a naked woman. Instead it's are you a butt or a boob guy? So for them it's more like are you a butt or an abs girl?

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)
[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Personally, I've started making use of slow-mo to spice up videos. 👀

[–] SubArcticTundra@lemmy.ml 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I mean, unlike with girls, the guy's body only has one exhibit

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago

I get what you're implying but in the literal sense you're wong.

Both men and women have a single primary sex characteristic: the equipment between one's legs.

Just getting a close up picture of any set of equipment is ok but it doesn't show the whole package.

The rest are secondary and girls have been constantly listing things like really liking buttocks, arms, shoulders, chest, eyes, smile. If you want to take better spicy pictures, think about how to frame other physical attributes as well.

[–] Anivia@feddit.org 2 points 2 months ago

Maybe yours

[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 8 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What would an ace do with all them wands?

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

cast magic missile?

[–] JackbyDev@programming.dev 3 points 2 months ago

My wife is ace. They're still good with the wands.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You don't need to hold it. Get a friend to take the picture while you're doing the fist on hips, Superman pose.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

But how do I make friends without a stellar dick pic? It's a chicken/egg situation.

[–] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

People who don't have friends have a tripod instead.

[–] axexrx@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

If my dick was long enough to look like a tripod, I would be in thar predicament in the first place.

[–] gmtom@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I mean have you seen what we're working with? I swear it's actually impossible to take a dick pic that actually looks good

[–] stevestevesteve@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago

You just gotta put some effort into it. You got a whole body not just a dick my dude

[–] MeThisGuy@feddit.nl 3 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

upside down with a reverse backhand stroke.

almost how it looks in the mirror.