this post was submitted on 25 Dec 2025
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Greentext
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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.
Be warned:
- Anon is often crazy.
- Anon is often depressed.
- Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.
If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.
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What?
You died for 7 minutes on the operating table and went into a coma. We are experimental researchers trying to communicate to you through a new brain interface. We are trying to get you to wake up.
Are you ready to be woke?
no. this makes complete sense.
It's because goblin slayer is about a guy slaying just goblins.
I think the British put tomato sauce in their canned beans.
Yeah, the commercially available baked beans (not baked) are in a horrible sweet tomato sauce. I haven't eaten any in a long time.
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Is this a metaphor I'm not recognizing?
It's a metaphor for entitled Karens
Why did you say Karens twice?
Sahara desert.
No, it's a response to someone complaining that you only kill Goblins in the game Goblin Slayer
So not no, but actually yes
Fake: one can is surely not a bit too many beans
Gay: My gay friends eat beans. Anon eats beans. Ergo, anon is gay. QED.
Edit: My roommate, who is pansexual, says I should have said anon is pan βbecause you can put beans in a panβ β¦I think we might both just be very sleep deprived because, rereading this, Iβm not sure either joke is actually funny at all but weβre cracking up lol
You can also put tomato and salad in a pan, but there is no tomato and salad, and that is sad.
no no no, you're right that's a good joke
The fakeness and gayness test is always mandatory, don't worry about funniness
Am I too normal to understand this?
According to another comment this was in response to someone complaining that Goblin Slayer only has Goblins and no other monsters.
So Anon "Bought a Can of Beans" by watching an anime about a guy called the Goblin Slayer, and is mad that there "Wasn't any salad in the Can of Beans," because all he does is... Slay Goblins.
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It's a mad world.
i hope anon takes their meds :(
>Anon buys a can of beans.
> It comes with AI.
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