Yes! A Ferrari, a prostitute (male or female) and a psychologist for every citizen. Also, wine on tap in every home.
You either get the joke or you don't.
this post was submitted on 31 Dec 2025
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i was promised a pony and a toothbrush
It'll be a prime example of "the road to hell is paved with good intentions". Can't imagine I'd be able to keep the country running well for more than a year tbh
I'd actually be a great leader because I know literally the only secret to good leadership (not great, but good): appoint people that are really really good at their jobs so you can do fuck all all day.
But are YOU good at spotting talent? Or at the least do you know someone who is?
This crucial first step (and it is only a first step) runs right up against the Principle-agent problem, and a major result of our inability to recognize talent generally leads to a Market for lemons.
Dictatorships suffer immensely from these problems because the dictator is a national focal point for decisions. Every swindler and scammer in the country is running around trying to fool the dictator. Since the benefits of being on the dictator’s good side are sky-high and the costs of being on their bad side are severe, the incentives for honesty and transparency in communications are nonexistent. This is the source of dictatorship dysfunction.
About the only thing dictators tend to be good at (if they survive) is navigating a complex web of sycophantic and untrustworthy relationships. There is a constant need for surveillance and purging of potential traitors which has the effect of inspiring fear and paranoia throughout the regime. This in turn feeds into the dictator’s own paranoia, which becomes a vicious cycle.
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Also no closed door meetings, no side hustles, no conflicts of interest. And regular audits just to be safe. If you want to work for the public your business is of public interest.
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People talk about Hitler, Stalin, Mao, and Pol Pot like they are monsters, but the truth is, they were just regular humans, they had feelings, mothers, ambitions, anxieties. They were just normal men. To call them monsters ignores the full range of human capabilities.
Now if if you want a truly monstrous dictator, and not one of these posers, vote for me.
Great. Please refer to me as the god emperor omnissiah from now on. It'll be fine. Trust.
I was really skeptical until you said trust, now I know I can trust you.
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Guys
What? You mean it? I promise I won't do anything weird haha. All of my laws will be super normal and not involve any of my kinks haha. Y'all are so sweet 🥺. I am very normal and can be trusted with state power
Look at those soulless, lifeless eyes.
Black eyes...
Like a dolls eyes...
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Of course comrade! But why do we have to wear these shark costume- STEP COMRADE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
THE SHARK COSTUME STAYS ON OR I PUT YOU IN THE SOUP
A friend of mine literally said that he'll be a great leader and should not be questioned after throwing out all sorts of silly ideas on how to improve our city. I told him he'll be worse than the current government and this is why democracy is still the best, because it does not rely on a single point of failure: which is one leader making bad decisions after bad decisions. A good autocrat is only one in a million.
It will definitely be different yes
That was my thought as well. Probably not better, but yeah, different I can do.
It'll be different
Still bad, but different XD
🌸Flowers for everyone💐🌸
flower farmers wondering who tf will pay for the flowers in the background
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Fuck no
You're perfect then. Congrats, you got the job
No thanks. People don’t wield power, power wields people.
This, you're not going to be successfully holding on to the position of dictator by directing available resources to what's best for the people.
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"if the sum of your possessions exceeds 100 M dollars/euros/whatever, your shall lose your civil rights, including the right to have your -shady- death investigated."
You're welcome. Invest in schools and hospitals. You have one week.
Absolutely fucking not unless you also make me omniscient so I know the best course of action.
Otherwise my ass is making my mother in charge of education, tell her to find some people who can help us, and then try to let those people who are experts do shit.
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i unironically feel like I would be a better leader than who's currently in charge. hell, a literal naked molerat would probably do a better job
on god
first thing would be to roll out the Guillotine in front of anyone with a networth of more than 10 Million, and ask an Ultimatum: "Either your Money above 10 Million goes to the Community and Infrastructure or your Head." After it has been settled I would resign.
How much is a $25 million mansion worth if you can either die or give it away? Sounds like it's only worth $9 million
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We need someone strong of character and values, experienced but able to change, willing but not eager to take up the mantle of leadership, someone who knows that their duty is not to build the future themselves, but to empower others to do so and bring together their successes in one coherent vision.
What I'm saying is: Linus Torvalds for world governor!
"Who's yuu? I'm Mii!"
So, we going to miniaturize every pony for every man, or not?
I’m down:
- Single payer medical/dental/vision insurance
- Implement UBI
- Taxes based on a curve of net worth up to 100%
- Universal ranked choice voting
- Abolish my dictatorship
Might throw other things in there, but I think it’d be the shortest lived dictatorship in history.
Funko pops are now illegal
You have my vote oh my mighty leader
FOSS on everyone. No large corporations. Almost everything produced locally. Cars only allowed in rural areas. Public transportation will be like this. No big cities, everyone will be spread into medium-sized ones. People will have houses, and every house will be obliged to have a tree in the front. People will only be allowed a max of two children, and we will have a degrowth economy where population itself will shrink slowly until the end of humanity.
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i dont trust myself enough .. to have such control over so many peeps.
right now i may think "mhm yes mayb i could do it" but mayb i change with power.
i wouldnt trust any individual peep with that...
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