this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2026
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Car anxiety update (short) (lemmy.zip)
submitted 6 days ago by howler@lemmy.zip to c/dull_mens_club@lemmy.world
25 comments fedilink hide all child comments
 

First of all, THANK YOU ALL for your advice and kindness in my last post. You are all wonderful people!

I took your advice of going slowly, and today I sat in the car (alone), played around with the lights, moved the mirrors and the seat.

My anxiety spiked, but reading your comments and encouragement helped A LOT. I spent around 20 minutes there, breathing and pushing buttons.

I can do this! Slowly! The most important step is the next one

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[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 26 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (2 children)

I didn't read your other post until just now. There are a lot of comments and I'm sure everything has been said already. First things first, if you struggle to see over the steering wheel, get a cushion (some cars have height adjustment on the seats so check that too). If that then means you can't reach the pedals you may need a smaller car. Being able to see and reach the controls is the most important thing.

Beyond that, go slowly, take short trips on empty roads or around car parks to build up confidence and work your way up. No passengers!

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 7 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I'm a short person. I tend to have the seat adjusted nearly all the way up (so I can see enough put the window lol) and nearly all the way forward (so I can reach the pedals lol).

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Might be a good idea to look into extensions for the pedals, if the airbag deploys while you are too close it could do more damage than the wreck. Be safe 🙂

[–] dingus@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I mean, every car I've ever been it also has had an adjustable steering wheel. I move the wheel further from me because otherwise I'd have to crunch up my arms to steer.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

As long as you have about 10-12 inches of space between the wheel and your chest I think you are fine.

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@piefed.world 3 points 6 days ago (1 children)

I’d highly suggest a trusted passenger who can take over driving if needed.

[–] i_am_not_a_robot@feddit.uk 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Emphasis on the trusted. They also need to trust you, no back seat driving.

If the OP isn't going far then this shouldn't be required - just ditch the car somewhere and walk back if necessary.

It's a lot easier to fiddle with controls and work stuff out if there isn't somebody observing.

[–] Bluefruit@lemmy.world 7 points 5 days ago

Anxiety sucks man. Ive dealt with it a lot in my life too. I saw your post yesterday and I'm really glad to read this today. Youre taking important steps so good on you for that!

We're a lot stronger than we give ourselves credit for and getting back in the car even though it makes you anxious shows that you're strong.

You can do this. :)

[–] voracitude@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Hell yeah bud! Like the guy said, you're gonna eat lightning and crap thunder!

Wait, no... wrong reference. Like the guy said: it gets easier. You got this 🙌

[–] howler@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 days ago

Omg I had never heard that line but god knows I'm going to use it lmaoo

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Keep doing that until the anxiety lowers. Make the next step, turning it on and letting it run while you do that. (If that's not what you already did)

Then practice selecting gears with your foot on the brake. i didn't see the original post but I'm guessing you are working up to driving?

You'll be OK. Just breathe and tell your anxiety to get in the back seat.😉

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

That is great progress!

[–] Cavemanfreak@programming.dev 4 points 6 days ago

The most important step is the next one

Wise words radiant! Keep it up, you will be warm again.

[–] Cris_Color@lemmy.world 3 points 6 days ago

I'm so fuckin proud of you! Keep taking little steps, keep being compassionate to yourself, we believe in you! ❤️

Anxiety is really fucking hard, and you can do hard things 🫂

[–] dusty_raven@discuss.online 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Congrats! Keep at it. What's the next step?

[–] howler@lemmy.zip 8 points 6 days ago (1 children)

As someone suggested, I'll move the car 1 meter forward and back. I'll also keep playing with the buttons to build muscle memory.

I'm leaving for a trip but afterwards I'll ask someone to take the car out of the parking lot (which requires more skill than I currently have) and I'll try to go around my neighbourhood at unholy hours so I don't have to face other cars just yet.

The going around the block part will take a long time, but I won't let anyone pressure me into going fast.

[–] Hello_there@fedia.io 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Do you have a car buddy for when you do this?

[–] howler@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Yes, some friends will be with me when I move the car 🥰

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

Good friends make a world of difference. Good luck!

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Yes!

[–] howler@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 days ago

❤️❤️❤️

[–] BCsven@lemmy.ca 3 points 6 days ago

My mum I short. She had a booster seat to sit in. And some people get pedal extensions added so the gas and brake are in a comfortable location.

[–] Proprietary_Blend@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

Are you comfortable with sharing which region of the world you're from?