That’s a good idea; I’m thinking Trump should probably take 4x-5x daily just to be on the safe side.
this post was submitted on 01 Jan 2026
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It would probably be safer with some warfarin on board, too.
And he should shave with a straight razor before he’s had anything to eat.
In the warm bath with a toaster
In a building with its original wiring from the 1890s.
earthing is woke anyway, he should just remove it
Ha ha ha. Found the electrical engineer.
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Please
Take more. Don't let those quacks tell you what to do. More.
The interview appeared to be one of the most extensive conservations Trump has had with journalists on his health
Heh.
He must think there’s somebody stupid enough out there to believe what he had to say.
Then again, tens of millions of people did vote for him…
Shaking hands doesn’t cause that type of bruising on the back of the hand, and neither does aspirin. You know it does? IV needles, which are, not infrequently, inserted into veins on top of the hand.
He must think there’s somebody stupid enough out there to believe what he had to say.
There are 77 million of them.
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Since Tylenol apparently causes autism, can we now decide that Aspirin causes dementia? Just curious.
It can cause internal bleeding, so if he's being stupid with the dose, then things like bleeding out in his sleep might be feasible.
2026 might be a good year after all!!
Yeah, because JD Couchfucker would be so much better.
He is probably worse, but he doesn't really hold any political capital so it's probably way better. Once JD is in the hot seat I bet every dubiously legal thing the admin has done falls in his lap and he gets impeached.
Peter Theil OWNS Vance, and keeps him on a short leash. If Vance becomes president, Theil will be running the show.
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Yeah but the cult doesn't like him do they. They still blame him for not supporting the insurrection.
He's not good at the mad hatter routine that Trump pulls off but also not competent enough to actually be an effective president. I was watching a video the other day and it randomly had a clip of George Bush Jr in it. It was weird watching it because he sounded entirely intelligent, perfectly coherent and totally competent. That's what comparison does for you I guess.
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I hope he dies in the stupidest, most humiliating way possible. And soon.
I don’t. I hope he strokes out and becomes trapped in his own body. I want MAGA to see a frail, weak, pathetic flesh bag.
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Accidentally shits his pants in a mcdonalds and the sudden change in pressure in his body causes his organs to collapse all at once and as he falls to the floor, with his dying breath, he exclaims:
"doctors tell me i have the best death, actually, some say , in the world. They dont make deaths like they used to, but im bringing them back, good deaths, they will be back, they will come back, the good deaths, i think, like rambo. It'll be like the movies, with the action hero... err... the guys with the guns, they dont get hit, the hullets just miss em, like me. Bullets cant get me, they tried to do it, i was on stage, it was a BIG event and the democrats, biden, they tried to shoot me. They failed, they missed, because they needed republican guns. If that was a republican they wouldnt have missed, my brains would be all over the crowd behind me. They would have needed staws to clean it all up, so i am bringing back plastic straws, not those paper ones, they fall apart in your mouth....."
Reports of the rest of what he said differ vastly.
I hope it's of natural causes on live TV
It'd be nice if it gave him an ulcer, that then got perforated.
But it's more likely he's just lying yet again.
I hope he's in constant pain
Don’t hold back Donald. What’s worse is I heard not taking aspirin causes autism. Better load up.
Bleed Out Bleed Out Bleed Out!
The very fact that he's still alive is proof that prayers don't work.
Maybe a hamberder or two will do it. One can only hope.
My memory tells me this is a real photo from his first term. When he fed that basketball team, when the government was shut down, so he had no kitchen staff.
But logic tells me this isn't real. This can't be real. None of this is real. It can't be! This makes no sense! This is all just a bad dream....
Yea, it's an old (real) photo. I have a few like this on my screensaver just in case my blood pressure gets too low.
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I very much doubt he's in charge of what pills he takes much less knows what pills he takes. Frankly at this point I'm shocked he's not taking colloidal silver.
Maybe he should!
I've heard that colloidal silver can turn one's skin blue. I wonder what happens when that person has orange skin, considering they're on opposite ends of the color wheel. Does it balance out to a normal skin tone?
Maybe he'd turn brown and just switch to promoting minority rights like Cartman in the ginger episode.
I could very easily see him taking aspirin on his own.
He wakes up and decides to put on that hideous orange concealer every day. No one is telling him to do that, he found that on his own and thought it was great and decided to wear it everyday. Why is it so hard to believe that he pops an aspirin everyday off some decades old advice about baby aspirin that he misunderstood?
I have a feeling he only showers once a week or so, which saves time in his skincare routine. Would also explain why he's rumored to smell like literal shit.
Had a friend who mixed aspirin with blood thinners. Her nose started bleeding and wouldn't stop. She looked like a murder victim when I drove her to the ER.
I don’t give a fuck about his health.
I do. I care very much. I hope he continues to not listen to his doctors and bigly departs from their advice.
I'm a Free Thinking Republican who saw ALL of this FIRST HAND when he Dozed off During a Conference I was watching so I KNOW this is FAKE NEWS!
There was a time, not too long ago, when I would have thought this was satire. I still hope this is satire.
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Because manly men can’t listen to doctors; they have to exceed the dosage!
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