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Drop the bench in the Marianas trench.
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Hold every billionaire ransom for the rest of their lives under threat of being summoned to the bench unless they divest themselves of their wealth to my satisfaction.
this post was submitted on 24 Feb 2026
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You. I like you.
I enjoy your presence.
- The prompt says explicitly that you have to sit on it. You can only do that once (and realistically, zero times).
- The bench implies but doesn't guarantee to summon the people. Given it works on future/past people also, you're probably chatting with their spirit or something.
Elon Musk.
Wait. Hear me out. The power to summon someone, hold them for an hour and force them to be conscious is really significant. Sure, there's nothing I could say to have any immediate effect. I'd just mention that he should divest his wealth to the poor or else when my hour is up, someone else is going to summon him. It'll keep happening until he's no longer the wealthiest person. Then, keep going down the list.
I mean, you'd have the opportunity to do something far funnier, and then you can spend the extra 50 minutes decorating your work.
grandparents for sure 💔
Just any dead grandfather? Not too fussy?
Good question. Yeah the grandfather of a guy at work
My dad tells these stories about how my great grandpa used to joke and pull pranks on the family. I wish I could have met him in person.
That or getting an hour to pick Alan Turing's brain. He'd probably hate the current generation of "AI" as much as I do.
For me it's about having a conversation with someone who lived history rather than just reading about it.
My best friend. Been gone over a decade now.
Just the two of us? Trump, and I would bring a gun.
I'd want to chat with someone from the future. I want to know if we'll make it. If we'll be alright.
"Rat meat has so much protein in the future. Expensive though."
Their current absence in your life should answer that question for you.
Or OP is just isn't that interesting enough to talk to
Time travel is real, they are just ghosting OP
My grandfather or grandmother, I can't decide. Ben Franklin. Carl Sagan.
Your grandfather and grandmother are Ben Franklin and Carl Sagan? That's remarkable in innumerable ways if true.
I also choose this guy's dead grandfather.
Inspiration: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/comment/d9uf56l/?context=1
FTFY: https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5c79n0/comment/d9uf56l/?context=1
Old Reddit has no login requirement for NSFW
One hour on that bench? Couldn't it be a bit more comfy?
I would talk to Mickey7's dead grandpa
I'm sure he would love to have a discussion with you
You made him sound like someone worth taking to, I figure why not?
Mr Rogers. In my mind one of Americas greatest offerings to the world. Just a genuinely amazing person.
Keanu Reeves. Just the two of us, each on one end of the bench, enjoying a sandwich, and not talking but still content with each other's company.
enjoying a sandwich
You could make it if you try
Honestly, i might be childish or something, but Markiplier. He just seems like a chill guy, and I would wanna ask him a bunch of questions.
It'd be nice to catch up with my mom
Same. Two weeks ago, very suddenly and far too early. Just started retirement.
Oof yeah that's rough. Mine was years ago in my early 20s. She never got to see my sister become an adult, or to meet my wife, or to see me blossom into a somewhat healthy and responsible adult. Mourning is rough, but you get through it, it feels like nothing will be ok again, but you find a new ok.
Myself. I'm very curious to see how I look from the outside.
"oh shit, not this guy again. Listen, I'm busy"
I guess my dad so I can ask him about all the shit he didn’t write down before he died like his passwords to shit or whatever.
Different take; my grandparents were terrible when they were alive. At this point, I'd choose my wife. An hour laughing and joking with my wife with no other responsibilities sounds awesome.
Is she still with us, or do you just not get very much time together because of work and other things? (Sorry for the personal question)
Still very much with us; just incredibly busy
Oh, good!
Me
Specifically, 14 year old me.
Yeah, I think this one's a winner assuming they retain the information after the conversation you could convince your younger self to make different choices and to put you into a different place.
Sure, you may no longer exist after the conversation, but the version of you that would exist afterwards might be less sad.
past.
..... Could I spend the hour beating this theoretical individual to death instead of chatting?
I have a few ideas of who is like to see on that bench....
Honestly, I can't decide. Masashi Kishimoto is definitely up there, but so is Homer. You know, the one who wrote The Odyssey. I'll make a list of my top 10 for your convenience.
leest
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Can't decide who should be at the top
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JK Rowling
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Masashi Kishimoto
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Homer
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Alexander Hamilton
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Lin Manuel Miranda
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Jorge Rivera-Herrans
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Shaun Tan
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Julius Caesar because I have some questions for him
So ye, that's basically it.