Hire two additional brides to bring it down from 9 to 3 months, then tell them to use AI to get it down to 1. Meanwhile, the baby was expected yesterday.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago

sure we can handle that

[–] Midnitte@beehaw.org 11 points 2 days ago

"If we assign 4 more women to this pregnancy, we can get the birth done 3 months sooner!"

[–] saltnotsugar@lemmy.world 86 points 2 days ago

Operation Everything Will Go Well.

[–] Logical@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Are there dev jobs where things are allowed to just take the time they take? Asking for a friend.

[–] schnurrito@discuss.tchncs.de 9 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yes. Try jobs where you just develop internal software for big companies. Not guaranteed, but not unheard of either.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I had a job like that back in the day (circa 2000). I remember one stretch where for a solid month around 50 developers did nothing but call in to Who Wants To Be a Millionaire? to try to become a contestant. Ironically, one web app I wrote for them (with Visual Basic and "Classic" ASP) is still in use today -- and it was a front end for a mainframe system that dated to the 1980s, which means that's still up and running as well.

[–] Logical@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Actually now that you mention it I kinda had a job like that for a brief period (though not at a very big company). It was a very chill (almost too much so), zero stress maintenance job, but it paid sooo much less than the one I have now (like a third of the money) that I probably couldn't go back and still make ends meet even if I wanted to.

[–] ksh@aussie.zone 4 points 1 day ago

Not a job but it’s called a hobby project.

[–] reabsorbthelight@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I got in trouble last time I suggested we should have a research phase and POC before we commit to heard deadlines.

[–] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I once ran afoul of our UX guy for suggesting that we run our design past a focus group before implementing it. Dude literally said "users don't know what they want".

[–] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 1 day ago

Ask 10 users and get 10 different answers.

Some UX is counter intuitive.

[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 39 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Don't worry tho I've already made a wedding ring out of sticks

[–] derry@midwest.social 22 points 2 days ago

MVP baby

[–] eager_eagle@lemmy.world 15 points 2 days ago

we'll iterate with the client until it fits

[–] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 2 points 2 days ago

Management will promote you if you say you used AI to do it in front of the customer and that it worked.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 17 points 2 days ago

Next week, we will spend 3 days trying to get the product team to pick out a dress only for them to insist that the one that is way too small "will fit" and that the dev can just "alter it real quick and it will be fine." Even despite loud protests from the dev team that they cannot alter it and it will not be fine.

Spoiler alert: it wasn't fine.

[–] Vlyn@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 day ago

Sent this to my PO, he replied that's exactly how we're working 🙃

[–] glorkon@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

I hate how accurate this is.

[–] mvilain@fedia.io 23 points 2 days ago (1 children)

So I assume you already got the matching t-shirts?

[–] cm0002@lemmings.world 19 points 2 days ago

T-shirts, hats, pens and a commemorative
timeline slide deck!

[–] Soleos@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Funnily enough, this is also the framework for those reality TV shows. It's the move fast and break things approach that seems to be entertaining in a morbid way... So clearly the solution is to monetize your project (mis)management as entertainment!

[–] cm0002@lemmings.world 3 points 2 days ago

The Office: Software Startup Edition

[–] vane@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago

Now invite random people to help you with wedding.