this post was submitted on 19 Mar 2026
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(Try to ~~be objective and~~ not just put your own first name at the top! You wouldn't want to tell your name to strangers on the internet, would you?)

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[–] Lumidaub@feddit.org 25 points 2 days ago

Human McHumanface.

[–] AbouBenAdhem@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

It was “Ea-nasir”, until that one guy ruined the name for the rest of us.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

He used to throw killer parties with many jugs of beer and all the figs you can eat (which is usually about 4 until he starts threatening you to save some for others). Not sure how he makes so much in the copper shipper/receiver industry.

[–] Iconoclast@feddit.uk 11 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I don't know how to objectively answer a subjective question.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Sorry i'm apparently super careless, i wrote the second part first lol. I'll change it

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 days ago (4 children)

My name is awesome but I would literally dox myself. I can't tell anyone because I'm actually the only person that has it (except for 2 other people)

[–] shawn@thagoat.org 11 points 2 days ago (5 children)

I'm actually the only person that has it (except for 2 other people)

Unless my math is wrong, 3 people with the same name doesn't make you the only one. Make it make sense! 

[–] snooggums@piefed.world 5 points 2 days ago

It is true except that it isn't!

[–] urheber@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 days ago

Yes but they don't really count

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[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Is it... Highlander?

Plz update when it's down to two.

[–] Pudutr0n@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

damn now I wanna know.

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[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Liz, short for Lizard. “Liz? Is that short for Elizabeth?” “No….”

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

I love calling various Lizzies "Lizard." And Sally is short for 'Salamander.' Bill is short for 'Billiards,' ¹ Leo is short for Leopard and maybe Lee is short for Leezard as well. Penny is short for Penguin.

That said, we do have a lot of funny animal first names.

  • Arthur, Bjarni, Ursula and Orson all mean 'bear.'
  • Robin and Robyn
  • Rudolph is a type of wolf
  • Rana means "beautiful" until you go to a spanish speaking country, where it means 'frog'

¹Billiards is not an animal admittedly. Sometimes it can be short for Shoebill

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Robert.

So much versatility. Rob, Robb, Robby, Robbie, Robert, Bob, Bobby, Bobbert...

[–] Geobloke@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

James laughs at Robert

You can be James when you meet the king, Jimmy to your mates or jimbob when you want to be a tool. Jane if you want to be female, though not a lot of good songs about Jane. Like the band Janes's addiction or Janey's got a gun

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Robert also has woman alternatives. Roberta, Bobbie, Robbie, Robby, Bobette...

[–] Geobloke@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago

I can not wait to meet Bobette, I feel like she could oulift and outdrink amule. And i want to marry her

[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 8 points 2 days ago (3 children)
[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] thisbenzingring@lemmy.today 5 points 2 days ago (2 children)
[–] bunkyprewster@startrek.website 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago
[–] snooggums@piefed.world 4 points 2 days ago

Zod should buy dinner first.

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[–] DagwoodIII@piefed.social 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Alexander and Benjamin for boys. Catherine and Elizabeth for girls.

Simply because those names have a lot of nicknames available.

[–] Womble@piefed.world 3 points 2 days ago

Alexander and Catherine are both great, but so is Peter.

[–] shawn@thagoat.org 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)
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[–] Glitch@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Met a kid named Dragon. That's my favorite name

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

Draco Malfoy

[–] mushroommunk@lemmy.today 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (4 children)

The best are like James and Mary. Names so common they help you blend in and commit crimes.

(Okay not actually my reasoning but I think common names are usually a good choice. Don't need to be that special you get a unique name)

[–] Coastal_Explorer@feddit.online 10 points 2 days ago

This can also have the opposite effect. There are a number of cases where the wrong person has been arrested simply for sharing a name with someone else that has a warrant for their arrest.

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[–] scytale@piefed.zip 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Cillian / Killian is a great name IMO.

[–] leoj@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

but is it sillian or murderillian

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[–] Chippys_mittens@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Skip, Guy, Buddy and Frank

[–] bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Pronounced as if you're pointing out some tie fighters on the horizon.

[–] 1984@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The real question is, why do people pick the names they pick. Probably some positive experiences with those names.

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

When I was a baby punk I was an insecure try-hard and got dogged on for it by the older punks. I was bequeathed a nickname that while not a total insult, was not the best and sort of an inside joke about my desperation to be “punk”. A lot of those older punks left the scene in their early 20s, but I kept on and discovered that people I didn’t know knew me by that name even if they didn’t know it was originally an insult. It’s still with me 30 years later, simultaneously cringe because it’s so, so “nehhh, PUNK ROCK!” sounding, but at the same time, punk as fuck and kinda badass. Overall it’s been a positive experience, but knowing its origin helps keep my ego in check when I lean too hard into “punker than thou”.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Yes, and I actually have a mental list of names (for my hypothetical children) that I wouldn't touch with a flagpole because of bad experiences with people of those names. Just feels tainted for me. Can be fixed by meeting a good person with that name. There's one name where everyone I've met with it - like five different people - has been an asshole.

[–] matelt@feddit.uk 4 points 2 days ago

Jean-Claude

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 2 points 2 days ago

Audra

I first read that name in a book when I was a teen and I’ve loved it ever since. My Warcraft rogue Audacity was even partially named using it.

[–] littleomid@feddit.org 3 points 2 days ago (4 children)
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Morgan or Morgana

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