this post was submitted on 20 Mar 2026
606 points (98.9% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

38702 readers
5017 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 39 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] melfie@lemy.lol 4 points 1 hour ago

Classic pick-up line: my pecker length is 3 standard deviations from the mean. Wanna find out which direction?

[–] Danarchy@lemmy.nz 30 points 5 hours ago

I know an average dick joke but it’s mean

[–] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 2 points 2 hours ago

I see dead dicks.

[–] PotatoesFall@discuss.tchncs.de 76 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago) (2 children)
[–] hakase@lemmy.zip 30 points 4 hours ago* (last edited 4 hours ago) (2 children)

Thank you! I don't need the modern equivalent of laugh tracks to tell me whether or not a social media post is funny.

[–] Alberat@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago (3 children)

i do for this post... what does it mean?

[–] NoPanko@feddit.uk 6 points 2 hours ago

A medium is someone who communicates with spirits

[–] philipsdirk@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 hours ago

A medium is a specific type of psychic who acts as an intermediary, communicating with spirits, deceased loved ones, or non-physical entities. In this case it's called Dick.

Medium is also the name for grifters who lie about being able to talk to or see ghosts.

[–] zeejoo@thelemmy.club 2 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

But then how are you supposed to know when to laugh?!?! ^/s^

[–] crazycraw@crazypeople.online 38 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

thank you, no one cares about who did what with tea unless it was coming out of ghost dick.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

I nearly spat the ghost dick out of my mouth.

[–] PhoenixDog@lemmy.world 3 points 1 hour ago (1 children)

Nah you gotta commit and swallow that tea.

[–] MeatPilot@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 hour ago

It's boo dong tea...

Ok... I'll see myself out.

[–] Signtist@bookwyr.me 13 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

I keep people guessing. Need something big and heavy? Try my dick! Need something short and thin? Try my dick! They both make my wife roll her eyes, so I might as well use them.

[–] cageythree@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 hours ago

Yea exactly. Both variants are funny in their own way. And I don't think anybody thinks that someone who's doing a big/small dick joke is seriously referring to their actual size.

[–] usualsuspect191@lemmy.ca 17 points 5 hours ago

They both make my wife roll her eyes

Like my dick!

[–] RipLemmDotEE@lemmy.today 7 points 5 hours ago

Beverly Crusher has entered chat.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 6 hours ago

Mourning wood.

[–] FinjaminPoach@lemmy.world 17 points 7 hours ago

I got a medium dick. Bitches be writing articles on it.

[–] errer@lemmy.world 12 points 6 hours ago

Ohhh lordy here come the ectoplasm!

[–] REDACTED@infosec.pub 5 points 5 hours ago

Can't really joke about something that's hard to see

[–] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 8 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

How do you like girls who make dick jokes about themselves? 👀

[–] joyjoy@lemmy.zip 6 points 5 hours ago

I prefer ladies who've won a dick measuring contest

[–] toothpaste_sandwich@thebrainbin.org 8 points 6 hours ago (3 children)
[–] Soulg@ani.social 31 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Spirit mediums claim they can communicate with the dead

[–] toothpaste_sandwich@thebrainbin.org 10 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

Ahhh yes. Now I get it. Not being a native speaker makes these synonym jokes pass me by, sometimes. Thanks.

[–] Forester@pawb.social -5 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

As a native speaker it took a solid three reads to understand it. Medium is correct but not in parlance way to describe a psychic or soothsayer.

[–] Soulg@ani.social 3 points 2 hours ago

Yes it is, I will admit that generally the full phrase is spirit medium, but as soon as they mentioned ghosts it came full circle and made perfect sense.

[–] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 8 points 7 hours ago

Mystic Dicky, is that you?

[–] ShinkanTrain@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 hours ago

Real Gs do both