this post was submitted on 21 Mar 2026
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Funny

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[–] Evotech@lemmy.world 4 points 1 hour ago

Does not sound like they appreciate it

[–] BilboBargains@lemmy.world 43 points 4 hours ago

Switch to tagging transactions as 'real estate fraud', 'financial instrument fraud', 'fake university', 'epstein party fund'

We don't prosecute these things.

[–] carpelbridgesyndrome@sh.itjust.works 22 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

If you keep sending them the bank may give you the boot. They tend to fire customers who trigger too many investigations of this type.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Along with seizing all your funds until they've "investigated." Its not like this is on the banks, the government forces them to do this in the name of "stopping terrorism."

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

AML is fun because it gets triggered when you least expect it and then you can't make any payments from your account till you explain to someone on the phone how you got your money because the automated system (or human reviewer? idk) didn't detect it as legitimate because of a random technicality

I used to put thing like crack, heroin, coke & hoes; I wish I got an email like that from the bank.

[–] Viceversa@lemmy.world 33 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago) (1 children)

Don't try such kind of jokes with security in the airport or with the police.

[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 9 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

My dad once joked about having a bomb while going through airport security.

It was 1997, though.

I still nearly came unglued at him.

Security just rolled their eyes. And I'm pretty sure it was just basically like the call of the void. It was obviously a joke too

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago* (last edited 1 hour ago)

both my wife and I have to stop ourselves from making those jokes. she swears she doesn't have a dark sense of humor, but she works at a school. she's had so many damn drills and we've had to seriously comprehend so many different horrific scenarios~1~ she sometime tells school shooting jokes to lighten the mood.

1 that is supposed to be higher or lower dammit fuck you formatting short version of the training we've both had that is accessible to almost everyoneIf you're wondering what's the least you can do to get prepared, CPR and Stop the Bleed training are first aid training that are accessible, beginner level training that people of nearly every ability level can do. I am nearly bedridden and I get CPR and Stop the Bleed certified every other year (I tag along with my wife's CPE. The district has gotten used to me showing up, I pay for my own cert, and we went to high school with the EMTs who teach the class (technically I taught one of them his first first aid class in boy scouts but meh. he's passed his boards fair and square it's just funny how small a world it is sometimes because we just keep reviewing the same shit every two years like we're going to a bad church)

edit: mild formatting, sent for coffee

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 8 hours ago

"Sam of Team Starling" sounds less like someone who works for a bank and more like a DC Comics sidekick 😄

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 31 points 10 hours ago

Have my friends make the note on all cashapp transactions to me say "Support for ICE" so the powers that be double what I receive. 😌

[–] Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works 42 points 10 hours ago (3 children)

Fun fact: back in the early 2010's Verizon Wireless started a new mobile payment option where you had the option to get an accompanying debit card for your account with the name of the app on it.

The mobile payment system name was ISIS.

[–] DarrinBrunner@lemmy.world 51 points 10 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 7 points 9 hours ago (1 children)
[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago (2 children)

lol, why would two people downvote this perfectly relevant link?

[–] SatyrSack@quokk.au 1 points 22 minutes ago* (last edited 7 minutes ago)

This website leans anti-Amazon. You shouldn't be surprised to catch a couple downvotes when posting a link to an Amazon website.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 4 points 6 hours ago
[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Isis was a major Egyptian goddess. It shouldn't be super surprising that things had that name before the Islamic State co-opted it.

Bob Dylan has a (great) song called "Isis"

[–] Demdaru@lemmy.world 4 points 2 hours ago

When I was younger I always called my multiplayer guilds and factions Eye of Isis / Isis Eye. I am afraid doing that now would me considered "political" :(

[–] arctanthrope@lemmy.world 18 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

one of my friends had a dog named Isis around that time. also the fictional spy agency from the tv show Archer was called ISIS, which was written out of the show at the start of the fifth season, earlier ones have them running around saying "we're ISIS agents" all the time. it was a totally normal thing until it suddenly wasn't

[–] Jentu@lemmy.ml 9 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Back in the day, Avid (the company that makes professional software like media composer and pro tools) sold a NAS system called ISIS (Infinitely Scalable Intelligent Storage). The studio I worked at had a different system, but the head of post production still called it “the ISIS” because he got used to calling the network storage that.

[–] abcd@feddit.org 5 points 8 hours ago

Was the system good or had it other false promises? Infinitely sounds very unprofessional for me.

What happens when we used all the resources on our planet to scale the NAS? Did they have the technology back than, to harvest other planets or even other star systems? So many questions…

😉

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 113 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Before we had EU-wide free instant money transfers that only worked within some banks. Two guys, who were at one such bank, decided to use it as an instant messenger. So they sent hundreds of messages while transferring just one Cent back and forth.

Until they got a message from a bank teller that they were equally amused by their jokes but should tone down the frequency because every money transfer cost the bank 11 Cents (don't remember the real number, but it was ridiculously high).

[–] Scubus@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 hour ago

Assuming they sent 1000 texts a day that would cost the bank a whopping $100. I think they'll be fine.

[–] bearboiblake@pawb.social 69 points 12 hours ago (7 children)

Once I sent a payment to a friend with a note like "drugs and guns" as a joke and it was delayed for like, two days.

Who tf is out there with zero opsec just using the banking system and straight up putting illegal stuff in the note field? So stupid.

[–] scoobford@piefed.blahaj.zone 33 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

Matt Gaetz literally used his public venmo to pay underage prostitutes. 

People are fucking stupid. 

[–] ToastedRavioli@midwest.social 10 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

People who use public Venmo are stupid, prostitution aside. What an artifact of the “anything and everything should be social media somehow” era

[–] Lumisal@lemmy.world 43 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

Epstein used fucking Gmail.

Think of the average dumbest use case and realize there's someone dumber still.

[–] bearboiblake@pawb.social 23 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

I think that's a little different though, Epstein had blackmail material on basically everyone in power, he was basically legally untouchable, he had mutually assured pedophillic destruction. That's why they had to assassinate him.

Your broader point is correct though of course, no argument there.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

When you're in the untouchables it doesn't matter.

[–] Taokan@sh.itjust.works 5 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

I mean, there's a buffet of conspiracies around what happened to Epstein, but most would agree he was in jail for his crimes.

[–] Maeve@kbin.earth 3 points 8 hours ago

Oh yeah, that famous Florida plea bargain. How many years did it take and what surrounding circumstances finally affected his arrest? 🤓

[–] ThePyroPython@lemmy.world 68 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Mate you'd be surprised.

I knew a guy in the Police who said that Facebook was a gift because people are dumb.

One guy posted publicly a photo with a couple kg of weed and flashing a pistol acting like a badman. The local police account commented under the post saying they'd like a word, guy responded "what you gonna do, arrest me?", I think you can work out what happened next.

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 17 points 9 hours ago (2 children)

One thing I've learned from parenting a teen is that if you suspect your child is doing something really stupid, there is a very good chance that there is photo or video evidence of it.

Lot of kids out there under age drinking and taking videos of their shenanigans. Dumbasses.

[–] nettie@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Yeah we did that, but at least it took us six months or so too get the photos developed...

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 3 points 8 hours ago (1 children)

Their brains aren't fully developed. What do you expect?

Now, adults on the other hand...

[–] jubilationtcornpone@sh.itjust.works 3 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

I'm convinced that some people's brains never fully develop.

[–] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I can't remember if it's pseudoscience or actually validated (we'll assume pseudo), but I've come across it many times: there's a running commentary in psychological development that only 33% of humans ever reach mental maturity, true adulthood. The vast majority land at adolescence ans stay there, with some never getting much past 12. To me, this has been the single greatest explanation of why ppl behave the way they do, somewhat comforting at least

[–] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 1 points 2 hours ago

Oh look I'm the 67%

Though mostly it's just my sense of humor that belongs to a 12 year old.

[–] OfCourseNot@fedia.io 22 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

Oi! Some of us like to keep track of our expenses, it's a good budgeting practice.

[–] sorghum@sh.itjust.works 11 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Just do it like the US govt and use code words; $435 for a hammer, $600 for a toilet seat, and $7000 for a coffee maker (1980's dollars adjusted for inflation $1315, $1814, and $21159 respectively). How else would we keep secret projects "off" the books?

[–] Dazharion@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 11 hours ago

The Trump Administration

Big banks probably have a more automated system but in small banks, there's a good chance someone at the OPS center is literally scrolling through all the online transfers on a given day. Mostly to screen for potential fraud but I'm sure stuff like this raises a few eyebrows.

[–] searabbit@piefed.social 8 points 12 hours ago (1 children)

I knew a kid in college who got drugs delivered straight to the dorm mailroom, so people can really be surprisingly brazen..

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 4 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

I mean, depending on the drugs, this is not necessarily the worst idea. Sending acid tabs seems pretty concealable, and the spores of psychedelic mushrooms are not illegal to purchase. You could probably even send pills, if you put them in a hard candy/breath mint container as part of a larger and innocuous care package.

Like, it’s definitely better not to risk it, but this could be done in a discreet manner. I’m guessing he got poorly sealed and smelly weed though.

[–] Cherry@piefed.social 15 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago) (1 children)

I wonder what other topics could stir up a upwards message.

I would say ‘political bribe’ or ‘lobbying fund’ but I’m sure that should be hand waved through.

Eat the rich…..oops sorry I was send money for dinner, nah not sorry.

I have never thought about this as a vehicle for an dissent

[–] Natanox@discuss.tchncs.de 8 points 11 hours ago

I know Paypal once blocked some stuff because some abbreviation or meme got flagged due to a sanctioned company having the same initials, but I can't remember ehat exactly it was… went through some news.