this post was submitted on 02 Apr 2026
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[–] cloudskater@piefed.blahaj.zone 74 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

"Am I a good e n t i t y ?"

Genunly tho, I call my non-biney partner a good bean in the same way one would call someone a good boy/girl. Because they is. They is best bean~

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 19 points 2 weeks ago

I think "good bean" is my favourite non-joke option that's been mentioned in this thread

[–] bownage@beehaw.org 4 points 2 weeks ago

I also love being called bean :)

[–] MissesAutumnRains@lemmy.blahaj.zone 43 points 2 weeks ago (8 children)

People will attribute masculine and feminine gender to 'master' and 'mistress' respectively, but I think master would be the 'neutral' pick here.

Or you can shuck the dynamic with: owner, divine, ruler, royal, liege, or any number of ranks with which you attribute subservience! :3

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Yeah I have to second the “master” as a gender neutral. People always think of it as masculine, but there is no feminine alternative for most uses of master. You aren’t your dogs mistress, for example.

[–] Malgas@beehaw.org 12 points 2 weeks ago

You aren't your dogs mistress

I'll grant that it sounds a bit archaic, but "mistress" is technically correct there.

But yes, agreed that "master" can be used in a gender-neutral way.

[–] SlurpingPus@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not seeing the problem with ‘mistress’. Wiktionary cites the very first meaning as: “A woman, specifically one with great control, authority or ownership”, and provides an example sentence: “She was the mistress of the estate-mansion, and owned the horses.” You know, the same way as ‘master’ was used.

Apparently I've read more than my necessary share of US literature about the slavery times (considering I've never been to the US), because I have no trouble imagining a matron commanding the slaves.

Moreover, further down Wiktionary explicitly cites ‘dominatrix’ as another meaning of ‘mistress’.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It’s not that they are looking for a feminine version of master, it’s that they want a gender neutral version. Which master already fills. As do any number of other options the person I replied to mentioned.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah, that's sort of what I landed on. Not "master" because that also feels weird for different reasons, but "Sir". It makes me feel like a Captain in Star Trek (though I'm not sure yet whether that's a good thing or a bad thing)

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 15 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Oh yes, calling me "liege" is going to be amazing once I stop laughing.

[–] cloudskater@piefed.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

Whoever uses that one needs to put on a British accent whenever they use it, even in the middle of sex. Sorry, it's a requirement, I don't make the rules.

[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Assistant (to the) manager

[–] TRAHR@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Why not Warlord or Tyrant?

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[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 31 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

When did we stop saying "slut?"

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 16 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Don't get me wrong, I am definitely down to be called a good slut in the right contexts, but sometimes I find myself craving a softer tone than that, for contrast

[–] SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I guess I could call you a soft slut

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 weeks ago

Cuddle slut is also a good option

[–] cloudskater@piefed.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago

That's comes off oddly wholesome to me.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] fdnomad@programming.dev 10 points 2 weeks ago

Diane, please tell me its not too late for me

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

normalize use of the gender neutral "bitch"

[–] yetAnotherUser@discuss.tchncs.de 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Especially when referring to the person dominating you, that's bound to result in some fun >:3

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago (13 children)

Never had that happen ... it's been too long since I had a bratty sub, maybe I should get one

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[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago

... the word for female dog?

"Cur" is literally right there.

[–] swab148@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 weeks ago

"Am I a good bitch?"

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 26 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Mattress. That's a gender-neutral dom, according to at least one enby I know. "Yes Mattress."

It also helps remind them not to take things too seriously. :)

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

That would just take me completely out of the moment :-/

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I've also heard "mastress" and, as others have commented, "mixtress"

Mattress is my fave but the joy is we don't all have to agree on one single universal term :)

[–] SharkWeek@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago

Oh, now that one I like - I might make use of it :-)

[–] Olgratin_Magmatoe@slrpnk.net 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

What if their name is Matt. Would you address them as Mattress Matt?

[–] Cevilia@lemmy.blahaj.zone 6 points 2 weeks ago

I'd address them however they told me to address them like a good girl

[–] dastechniker@lemmy.world 22 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

"Toy" is great for a sub. No clue for dom though.

[–] PrettyFlyForAFatGuy@feddit.uk 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] dastechniker@lemmy.world 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I think if a sub calls me Captain I'm just leaving

[–] Grail@multiverse.soulism.net 11 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is why I call everyone "programs", like Kevin Flynn

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[–] dangling_cat@piefed.blahaj.zone 10 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Owner/pet is very neutral~ Or admin/user

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

"Or admin/user" Oh, I love this. One day I'm going to sub for a techy dom(me) and it's going to be so funny to see how they react when I call them admin

[–] cloudskater@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I like computers so I'm totally gonna sudo apt purge touchstarvation on my partners next time I visit them. Purge that shit good, leave no trace. Arson.

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[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Ruler and minion.

My ruler, am I a good minion?

[–] Paradachshund@lemmy.today 8 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

The equivalent would actually be "am I a good child?"

...which also sounds questionable.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

My domme is a fully binary woman but I mix it up occasionally and some of the terms I use for her are neutral like ruler, owner, and conqueror

[–] forestbeasts@pawb.social 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

If they're furry and/or therian, using their species works great! Like "good dog", but whatever kind of animal they are.

-- Frost

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[–] jjj@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (2 children)

Maybe an extension of Mx, Ms, Mr: Mixtress? (I suppose the "ess" is what makes it seem feminine)

Or just "Mx. Name", like how "Mr. Bond" can feel like a single term in the James Bond movies. (Mx. pronounced "mix" feels right here)

Let's see:

  • Mistress
  • Mister

The end should be changed in stead. You can do the X thing: Mistrex (or Mistrix to keep the "e" part pronounced as "ih").

Or change it another way: Mistro, Mistrez?

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[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Hubs just alternates what he calls me regardless of which one of us is domming at the time. Not all who wander are lost ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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