this post was submitted on 16 Apr 2026
136 points (99.3% liked)

Ask Lemmy

39717 readers
2845 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, toxicity and dog-whistling are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
 

Title

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 86 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Emotional and ready to quit your job/break up with someone/confront someone?

Write down what you want to say/write. WRITE IT ALL DOWN.

Wait 24 hours. Read it again.

Do you still think you should send it? Then send it.

80% of the time my issue was stupid and my reaction inappropriate, but because I kept my mouth shut, all I had to do was tear up a piece of paper.

Thanks dad. That’s served me well.

[–] blarghly@lemmy.world 18 points 1 month ago

Also, even if you are making the right descision in breaking things off, often the more you say the more ammo/pain you are giving to the other party. Most of the time, the "wait 24h" trick makes you realize you are saying too much.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 80 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Admitting a mistake is NOT the same as admitting weakness or stupidity.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] seathru@quokk.au 51 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Only break one law at a time.

Thank you pops. It probably did keep me from fucking my life up (worse).

[–] thal3s@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (1 children)

My father put it a slightly different way:

If you’re going to do something dumb, be smart about it

[–] joshthewaster@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

I knew an older guy that would always tell me, "Be good. If you can't be good be careful". He also phrased the OP statement as, "One crime at a time".

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 51 points 1 month ago (7 children)

Never make fun of someone's job. No matter how "beneath you" it is, somebody has to do it, and we should all appreciate that they do it.

[–] JollyG@lemmy.world 31 points 1 month ago (2 children)

What about looksmaxing influencers? I can make fun of their job right?

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 17 points 1 month ago

That's not a job.

[–] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

I think the jury is still out on whether or not that's a job, so I think it's allowed for now.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 48 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't Panic

Might not ever be the best piece of advice, but it's always the second best piece of advice in any situation

[–] a_gee_dizzle@lemmy.ca 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

This is a good piece of advice for hitchhiking around the galaxy

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 11 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Always know where your towel is.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CaptainBlinky@lemmy.myserv.one 47 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Your job is not your family. You owe them nothing. Do your job well and leave the work at the door when you leave at the end of the day. Unless you're an owner, every bit of extra work you do is you being robbed.

[–] FatVegan@leminal.space 18 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Lately i talked to a lot of elderly people or people who just retired because work. They don't know each other, they don't even live close to each other, but the thing they have in common is the need to talk to me about young people who don't want to work anymore. Telling me stories that "young people" just leave work when their shift is over, not caring about the company at all.

load more comments (3 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] joshthewaster@lemmy.world 35 points 1 month ago (3 children)

This was specific to calculus homework but it has turned out to be very good advice, "when you don't know what to do, do something". Often decisions can be paralyzing or problems can feel insurmountable but doing nothing is a choice. Very rarely is it the best one.

[–] bitjunkie@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Me: this seems like sound reasoning, I should follow it and be more decisive

My ADHD:

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] TwoTiredMice@feddit.dk 34 points 1 month ago

If you’re in a group and talking about someone who isn’t there, imagine they are. That way, you’ll never say something you might regret later.

[–] leoj@piefed.social 34 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The three least heard words in the universe will serve you well, and often catch people off guard - don't be afraid to use them.

"I was wrong."

Admit your mistakes when they happen, then when something goes wrong no one will accuse you.

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 16 points 1 month ago (1 children)

It's also not hard to do casually without having to grovel. My nursing subspecialty is violence management and I frequently respond to things with,"thank you for reminding me, I'm going to go do that now!" and,"I hadn't realized that was your preference, thank you for letting me know!" or,"that's a good thing to point out I'm glad you're being an active participant in your care!" You don't even have to say you're wrong half the time you can also just regularly tell people they're right.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] nailingjello@piefed.zip 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Ask yourself the three things before you say anything.

  1. Does this need to be said?
  1. Does this need to be said by me?
  1. Does this need to be said by me now?

Craig Ferguson

This has been helpful for me in meetings since I have a tendency to talk more than I probably should.

[–] Jackhammer_Joe@lemmy.world 29 points 1 month ago

Never compare yourself to others but only to yourself from the past.

Be grateful for what you have.

[–] Triumph@fedia.io 27 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago

Never talk to cops. Wait for a lawyer.

[–] fitjazz@sh.itjust.works 26 points 1 month ago

When I got my first car my grandmother told me "don't do anything to it that makes it stand out to the police."

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 26 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Don't believe everything you think

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TribblesBestFriend@startrek.website 25 points 1 month ago (3 children)

If you have to whine or criticize something make sure to have a way to make it better. If you bring up a problem, bring up the solution with you.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] CapOnBackwards@fedinsfw.app 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Hate and bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] toomanypancakes@piefed.world 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

A relationship can only work if everyone is getting out of it what they need.

It's basically just a simple reminder to be attentive and care, but it's stuck with me. Most of my friends and my husband have been a part of my life for over twenty years now, so I think it works.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zabadoh@ani.social 21 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Go away from your home for college.

It will give you a chance to grow as a person.

From one of my high school math teachers.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] zxqwas@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

Learn how to deal with people.

No matter what you do in life you have to deal with people in some way. Even if they are paid to do what you tell them it's a huge difference if they put your request on the top or bottom of their pile.

[–] innermachine@lemmy.world 20 points 1 month ago

Tell me who your friends are, and I'll tell you who you are. I thought it was stupid when I heard it as a kid, but it's the damned truth and I turned my life for the better after cutting loose some people I should not have called my friends.

[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 month ago

An okay plan applied immediately and vigorously is INFINTELY better than a perfect plan ten minutes too late.

[–] Teh@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago

Live below your means, but not too far.

[–] Rivermoonwolf@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago

" You gotta be true to who you really are, cause no one's gotta wear the shoes you got "

Given to me by a former friend, high as a rocket to Venus, upon my stumbling attempt to come out to him twenty years ago

[–] AskewLord@piefed.social 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (2 children)

The best thing I ever did was ignore the advice people gave me and figured out stuff on my own.

Because most advice I got was coming from a completely different universe and totally irrelevant to my own personal situation, and most advice-givers were straight up hypocrites, who were mostly only interested in me thinking they were great, when they were total jerks.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 15 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Good Critical Thinking Skills are the only education you need. With Critical Thinking Skills, you can learn anything you need to know, and recognize and avoid those who will try to interrupt your life journey and take advantage of you.

[–] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 15 points 1 month ago

Professionally, the question that needs to get answered isn't the question being asked. Always get context.

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 14 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Many things are only a big deal if you make them a big deal

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] notsosure@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 month ago (2 children)

“Better put on a condom”

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] whotookkarl@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Lefty loosey righty tighty

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] j4k3@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

"No permanent solutions to temporary problems." It is a double edged sword for me, but one that cut through some hard times. Police are trained to tell people this. One that was in cybercrime, doing a talk on AppArmor on Linux, mentioned this casualty and it stuck when I needed it.

[–] somnuz@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 month ago

don’t waste too much time and energy trying to open some doors. Sometimes there’s a different path there waiting for you and sometimes the room is just not worth visiting

and one of the most precious things I ever heard, not even a straightforward advice, just pure, genuine gold:

„As a man, entire world can judge me and I don’t care all that much, I am not perfect, I make mistakes, I may fall, I may fail, I may hurt, I may help, I learn and I try my best.. and I am not scared of any of that, I can handle that.. or even learn how to handle it better. BUT as a father, only you and your brother can judge me and about that judgement.. I care the most and being a father is my biggest responsibility and the most scary thing I have ever done in my life and possibly will ever do. I know you are still young and you don’t have to but please just understand that as much as you can.“

load more comments
view more: next ›