this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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top 44 comments
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[–] xorollo@leminal.space 8 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] A7thStone@lemmy.world 1 points 23 hours ago

Don't change your number

[–] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can only remember the emergency services number, 0118 999 881 999 119 725 3

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

I've seen this a few times. Is this a real emergency number and, if so, what the hell!?

[–] runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 15 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's a bit from The IT Crowd, and amazing British comedy from the '00s.

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can still support the actors and artists who worked on the show.

also your comment is quite funny for a guy with Firefly in their name. (Not attacking, just noting the funny moment).

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (2 children)

If you're referring to the show called "Firefly" I haven't watched it. I've used this screenname since the 1990s, before that show was a thing (though I understand it was also made by a creep.)

[–] runner_g@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 13 hours ago

Yeah, Joss Whedon turned out to be a creep as well. the show is worth a watch if you like scifi/space westerns.

[–] FosterMolasses@leminal.space 3 points 1 day ago

It's creeps all the way down lol

[–] slingstone@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

You know, I have a structured settlement, but I need cash now...

[–] lime@feddit.nu 61 points 2 days ago (3 children)

slop slop slop slop
slop slop slop slop

[–] FrChazzz@lemmus.org 36 points 2 days ago

I love that it generated the name "Juano." That seems like a special kind of racist.

[–] Tigeroovy@lemmy.ca 21 points 2 days ago

It would be funnier if it was just a dog head poorly pasted on a human.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 2 points 1 day ago (2 children)

To be fair, where else are you gonna find even one pay phone, much less a row of them anymore?

[–] GreenBeanMachine@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Slop shit again

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 23 points 2 days ago (3 children)

Just use your one free call for 911.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (1 children)

"PLEASE. I'M BEING HELD AGAINST MY WILL. THEY HAVE GUNS. I'M NOT SURE HOW LONG THEY'LL LET ME SPEAK, PLEASE HURRY."

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] xia@lemmy.ca 1 points 1 day ago

The best kind of truth

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Big brain activities!!

[–] ButteryMonkey@piefed.social 4 points 2 days ago

What would actually happen if you did that? Im sure people have..

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 7 points 1 day ago

Hello, Empire Carpet? I'm in Cook County jail and really need to have my cell upholstered.

[–] rslogix89@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Hope they like carpet because “800-588-2300 Empire Today.”

[–] MTZ@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago (2 children)

I also remember Jenny's number, (867-5309) but I am unsure of the area code.

I also recall Mike Jones' phone number from 2005, (281-330-8004) which is apparently still his number.

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Just do what a friend of mine did and try every area code in search of Jenny.

[–] mbp@slrpnk.net 7 points 2 days ago

Fun fact: I have never gotten a Safeway card and just use Jenny's number

[–] Lucky_777@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Only number I know by heart is my wife's phone. She doesn't answer 95% of the time, but she is a lawyer. So got that going lol

[–] garbagebagel@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I know this is a shitpost but serious question: does anyone know if when you go to jail they would help you out to get a phone number if you dont know. Like can one of them look at your phone to give you your mom's number or something lol

[–] village604@adultswim.fan 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

It probably depends on your race and what mood the cop is in.

But I would strongly advise against giving the police access to your unlocked phone after you've been arrested, unless your lawyer greenlights it.

Best to memorize at least one phone number, or maybe keep a business card in your wallet.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

But OP did memorize one phone number and look how it turned out.

[–] MML@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 day ago

Ask for a doctor, repeatedly, then ask the doctor for help.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 2 points 1 day ago

And associates, asshole.

[–] JennaR8r@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 days ago

411

211

555-1212

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

UK answer is Hastings Insurance.

OH EIGHT HUNDRED DOUBLE OHHHHH. TEN SIXTY SIX.

Not sure if that even still exists. Haven't heard anything since ditching TV about 20 years ago.

[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 3 points 2 days ago

01 811 8055

If you know, you know.

[–] defrostedLasagna4921@piefed.zip 3 points 2 days ago (2 children)

What did they do exactly? Was it a payday loan service?

[–] _stranger_@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

payday loan service

Even lawyers aren't this shitty. That was Allan Jones, a small town debt collector.

[–] CatZoomies@lemmy.world 10 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I have a structured settlement and I need cash now. Call JG Wentworth. 877-CASH-NOW

They’ll buy your structured settlement on the cheap so that you get lump-sum cash. Then they collect the payout from the responsible party. It’s win-win for them.

They also did debt relief stuff too, but as a kid, I only remember the structured settlement commercials.

[–] kn33@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

To expand - a structured settlement is when you sue someone, and they settle out of court, but part of the settlement is that they pay out over time, not all of it immediately.

[–] Harvey656@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Sorry Jauno, I always remember my grammys number. (328) 692-7777