all y'all are assuming i'd go through the doors. no. those shitty drop ceilings are real easy to walk around and get stuck on like a cat in a tree. man traps my ass.
this post was submitted on 24 Apr 2026
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Aww, he would've loved this meme. RIP, local sexpot. π
Barely staffed, yeah.
But locked up pretty friggin tight.
The racks themselves may be locked...sometimes proxcard, sometimes dynamo combination.
They are inside of a locked cage. Usually a combination of two or more...prox, biometric, pin.
That itself may even be inside of a locked room with the same access controls.
To get there, you will need to get past the security guard at the lobby. Depending on who the customers are and what state your in, those guards may be armed.
There most certainly will be a man-trap which will involve speaking to the guards and prove yourself as being a customer. Vendors must be escorted unless the customer got them registered as if they are employed by the customer.
Outside the building, could be guardshacks, likely with motorized gates. Sometimes also barbed wire.
They are also sometimes practically invisible unless you know they are there. There was one I used to work in in NOLA that looked like an abandoned strip mall. There was one in central MA like that as well. A friend of mine owns a data center in Providence that looks like any other abandoned mill building.
Macy's Boston/Downtown Crossing?? Damn near all the Internet in New England flows through the floors above.
Sounds like they spend a LOT of money on security. Maybe we can't get through it, but we can test/ probe/penetrate/ attack/ hack/ etc. enough that they have to triple the security budget, and that comes straight out of their profits. They don't like it when you make them spend their profits.
two angle grinders. one with an aluminum cutter and the other with a steel cutter. You can get into basically anything with that combo. cut off the hinges or around the rack locks and just take stuff you didn't spray with metal dust.
Plot twist: you're in the US, so your angle grinder takes 120v but all the outlets in the cage are 240v.
battery angle grinder. really they should require licences. People have used them to steal bikes in public areas and nobody is confronting a potentially mentally unstable individual with a tool that can cut a U lock in a second or two
This is the plot of an Oceans movie.
Oceans 1011
Or that it's full of RAM and GPUs, which have skyrocketed in price.
Right - I cant imagine there are enough rare metals in those components that would make them more valuable as scrap than as working server grade components
I'm going to start mining in datacenters.
So like bitcoin?
Nah, this is different thing.
RIP to a real one who died a suspicious death
How did he die? I heard it was from autofellatio?
Officially he fell over the ledge between floors in his house after drinking.
I feel like if he died sucking hits on dick it couldnβt be construed as suspicious.
Eh, very little though. The components themselves are orders of magnitude more valuable but you have to know how to steal them to make money when even slight damage in a few specific places can make it nonfunctional.
Hey gamers, I know where to find free top-tier RAM and GPUs. And you get to pretend you're in a spy game.
ECC DDR5 is usually pretty slow, and the "GPUs" are barely even G so they're only really useful for computer. When that hardware gets retired it's not gonna be useful for much of anything sadly.
The U.2 drives can be adapter to pcie at least. Can't wait to scoop up a 20TB SSD for $200.
Some datacenters are staffed by people wearing armor and armed with guns.
Yeah, shoot them first.
The datacenter I saw had them in a bulletproof room and they had mantraps, gates, and cameras.
I think they know they have valuables in the datacenter.
those are late game dungeons, make sure you are geared up when you go
And get a monk to pull
Shared aggro, canβt do that unless you have a full party
and robot dogs!
Robot gorilla > robot dog