©sigh© now I am horny
this post was submitted on 08 May 2026
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First they came for my game controller. Then they came for my mouse. There was no one left when they came for my keyboard.
Joke's on them, I'm into holding the moan like a good girl :)
Woof c:
I think Nintendo could've saved money by simply selling most of the fanbase black bricks instead. The devices would work equally as often, and fans would still buy them anyway.
There's no way that's real... right?
(Are they talking about Starfox? or Animal Crossing?)
It's not real, no.
Slight tangent: this is essentially my theory for why they went with those terrible new starfox character designs.
Wait, what new Starfox character designs?
For the remake that was just announced for the Switch 2
im not sure honestly.
the old designs werent very.... umm--- how do i put this....
they werent very spicy to begin with, no?
No, but the they were at least cute and/or aesthetically pleasing. The new ones are not either imho. I saw someone bring up that the new designs are very similar to the original puppets, and while I can see that, the puppets had a charm that the new designs don’t. Perhaps if they had gone for a rendering style that gives the characters a stop-motion look they would look better. But also puppet Falco didn’t have realistic bird legs like the new one does…
Just wait. Those models will get ripped, and used for some scandalous things. They might even be improved in the process.
I don't think so. Probably not? It's nintendo
I wouldn’t be surprised in this timeline.
literally how?
By not being a real thing that's happening
AI jack off detection trained on trillions of hours of Omegle and Chat Rulette.
Facial cues.
Longer than average eye contact / lack of eyes darting around / fixed gaze.
Lip licking.
Arched eyebrows / relaxed facial muscles around the eyes.
Parted lips / relaxed mouth or jaw that is slightly open.
Dilated pupils.
Blushing.
Breathing pace changes.
... How do you think social media apps got to be so good at marketing?
Massive data analysis of all kinds of human biometric data.
Every instagram filter you ever put on your face was realtime measuring and mapping the geometry of your expressions.
challenge accepted
is.. blushing even a real thing?....
Yes.
But, its ... significantly more complicated than just like, an anime character's face turns red.
Basically, there's more actual blood flow going on in your face/cheeks... your body is basically doing something like relaxing many parts of your face, getting more blood diverted to it.
Your cheeks, maybe your forehead, other parts of your face, they actually get warmer, hotter, and if your skin is pale enough, it noticeably changes color in apperance, it reddens.
The emotional experience is akin to embarassment, you're embarassed how attractive you find whatever it is you are looking at, basically.
Sad Lobster Pyschologist Man isn't 100% full of shit when he says that blush and rougue... was originally used, in at least some cultures at some points in time, to emulate/exaggerate this.
... but this biological effect is by no means confined only to women... guys blush in exactly the same ways.
I mean shit: A guy going through puberty? (Maybe even long after puberty?) Gets an involuntary stiffy when he's in close proximity to somebody he finds attractive? He's probably gonna be blushing with his face too.
Like the hypercartoon version of somebody's jaw dropping literally to the floor, and their tongue rolling out across the floor... its an extreme exaggeration of the mouth/jaw relaxing, your face forming into a kind of minor smile, or just opening even further agape into a mini O-face... that you might not even realize you are doing.
Its where the phrase 'jaw-dropping', as a description of the magnitude of someone's beauty, comes from.
That does sound a lot like a telescreen.
Its worse.
Everyone has one.
In their pocket.
Which is most often GPS enabled.
Failing that, its doing precise geolocation by remembering every single wifi that you ever got near, when you got near it, left its range.
... that you use to send other people dick pics, and do almost all of your communication on.
This timeline really sucks ass, doesn't it?
It is quite literally worse than I could have possibly imagined, and basically, I don't have any irl friends any more because I spent the last ~15 years trying to tell people how bad things would/could get if we just kept on chugging the status quo juice.
It is extremely bad.
Ah, a fellow collapsenik/doomer.
... I have not heard 'collapsenik' before, but now I know that when at some point I get a gun, I am going to it my 'collaspsenikov'.
Welp Nintendo,… it’s been fun.