this post was submitted on 09 May 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

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Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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[–] TheFermentalist@reddthat.com 77 points 1 week ago (7 children)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 53 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The billiard room and the conservatory.

[–] saltesc@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

So that's where they keep all the kidnapped conservatives and unpaid bills.

[–] bizarroland@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Do not kidnap conservatives!

reduce, reuse, recycle

Conservatives make excellent Rose feed.

and are valuable resources for people needing organ transplants.

[–] cybervseas@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (2 children)
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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Plushies, mostly. That's why the PDR (Plushie Distribution Room) is next to the elevator.

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago

Hot Chip Eattery

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[–] ccunning@lemmy.world 64 points 1 week ago
[–] rosco385@lemmy.wtf 39 points 1 week ago

Every new building should be required to have a cuddle puddle.

[–] NatakuNox@lemmy.world 39 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I specifically asked for a avocado toast eating lounge?

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[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 34 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I appreciate that the milking room is next to the vegan kitchen. Human breastmilk given with consent is vegan, so line up those Antifa milkers for a mouthwatering, very throwable milkshake.

[–] daggermoon@piefed.world 29 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I thought it was the cock milking room?

[–] basxto@discuss.tchncs.de 24 points 1 week ago

why not both?

[–] yermaw@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Not enough yield. Luxury products are a symptom of the borgeoise.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 9 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Indeed, and needs to be reserved for creating the next generation of hosts for the woke mind virus and/or being aborted (but it's cool if they don't want to; it's their body).

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[–] bigfish@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago

¿Porque no los dos?

[–] mechoman444@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

The room dedicated to butt plugs is way too small.

[–] smeenz@lemmy.nz 16 points 1 week ago (2 children)

What you can't see on this map is that it is 4 storeys tall

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[–] AnyOldName3@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago

They only need space for the ones temporarily removed for maintenance. Once they're deployed, they're free to leave the room.

[–] Monument@piefed.world 25 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Bad design.

Dungeon goes in the basement, not in the middle next to the cuddle puddle or the burlesque room. The noise and activity would throw off the vibe.

Really, it sort of depends on the type of energy you’re going for, but I’d make that dungeon room the massage parlor/tarot card reading/high tea service room. Foyer gets a boot shine station.
Hair and makeup moves to the polycule room, which is lined with mirrors and outside the gender swap machine.
Pet play moves to the current massage parlor, which appears to be some sort of 3-seasons room - everyone knows that cats need sunlight. Current pet play room becomes vetting and administration, plus coat check.
Milking room and dungeon go to the basement, along with group showers, rigging, and the science lab (medical, vacuum beds, electrostim) and other wet or high noise equipment. No carpet. Tile. That way you can hose it out.
Poly play room, group sex, and individual suites are upstairs. Each room has ‘flipper’ signs indicating status - reserved, observers welcome, participants welcome, do not disturb, in need of cleaning. Upstairs bathroom has a compact dishwasher under the sink that’s capable of sterilizing. Pantry has a lending library of sorts.

Editing to add: what’s currently the milking room becomes my office, where I shitpost to the Fediverse.

[–] ickplant@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

This person antifas.

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[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago

Where's the abortionarium?

[–] Diplomjodler3@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

If you need me, I'll be in the milking room.

[–] Yerbouti@sh.itjust.works 21 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

But where do we debate for hours about whether we should steal our bikes from rich people or build them from recycled parts?

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[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 20 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I think I need this in my life. Anyone else want to pitch in for antwofa headquarters or am I going to have to enjoy the petplay and burlesque on my own?

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[–] Folstar@lemmus.org 20 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Why is the butt plug room so small? Are we even serious about fighting fascism?

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[–] EggInDisguise@lemmy.blahaj.zone 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Okay well I already have my own neko maid uniform, so just a quick hop into the gender swap machine (maybe a pit stop into the plug Closet) and then I'm off to the cuddle puddle!

I will have to bring up the lack of quick access from the bdsm dungeon to the cuddle puddle, aftercare is important!

[–] vladmech@lemmy.world 13 points 1 week ago

It doesn’t show on the official floorplan, it if you pull the copy of Enthusiastic Consent Is Sexy on the bookcase, the hidden door pops open between the two!

[–] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 1 week ago

room sized polycule bed sounds so fucking fun tho

[–] darkmogool@feddit.org 14 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (2 children)

Where is it? Asking for… uhm… a friend…

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[–] thethunderwolf@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 1 week ago

what if we kissed in the gender swap machine 👉🥺👈

[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 13 points 1 week ago

2 STORY GRAND FOYER

Does it go to a 2nd floor?

... ... ...No

[–] Objection@lemmy.ml 12 points 1 week ago

ATTN: the Outdoor Burlesque and Stripper and Drag and Broadway Musical and Sex Stage HAS TABLES for you to EAT AT! Alternatively, you can take your meals off dishes on the floor in the Petplay Room, like a good little puppy or kitten. Eating in the BDSM Dungeon is discouraged because people keep stepping on the food which can be either unsanitary or wasteful. Also, PLEASE DO NOT EAT ON THE POLYCULE BED. You know who you are.

[–] Resonosity@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 week ago

Vegan kitchen

Hell yeah

[–] SillyDude@lemmy.zip 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)

I'm mostly curious is the butt plugs. I've seen a few in my days but that seems like quite a large area just for butt plugs. What advancements in buttplug technology am I just unaware of?

[–] LeFrog@discuss.tchncs.de 16 points 1 week ago

Maybe it is more like a museum?

E.g. like this:

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[–] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago

All mapped via speedruns, impressive.

[–] riot@slrpnk.net 11 points 1 week ago

This seems to be missing the standard abortion parlor.

[–] CH3DD4R_G0BL1N@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (2 children)

While funny, I initially thought this was, more cleverly, the floor plan for the Scientology headquarters in response to the speedrun challenges.

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[–] KulunkelBoom@lemmus.org 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Goddammit... where's the opium den and pizza joint basement???

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[–] okwhateverdude@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago

Strangest cluedo board ever

[–] OwOarchist@pawb.social 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
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[–] akwd169@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Place sounds pretty rad ngl

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[–] Inucune@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I remember using this set of floor plans for a Minecraft house.

[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It’s a good start, but the coven needs a bigger stoop.

Tap for spoilerI know it means “covered,” this is a joke.

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[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I was in the BDSM room strapped to the horse but I swear I'm not a member. Just delivering pizza. I don't know what happened. I just remember pressure and goo all over me.

[–] pitaya@lemmy.zip 8 points 1 week ago

extra privacy toilet?

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