this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 2 points 1 hour ago

Leave a vent to shit down

[–] BarneyPiccolo@lemmy.today 21 points 4 hours ago

They'll have to have ventilation, so dump as much liquid nitrogen down there as possible. It will convert to gas at a rate of 696:1, and fill every nook & cranny of the bunker with pure nitrogen gas, which will solve the problem within a few breaths.

THEN encase it in concrete, and leave it for some archeologist to discover in 10,000 years.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 7 points 4 hours ago

Here is the thing about bunkers. Unless they have installed some way to power that bunker and provide water and food that cannot be destroyed, it's a self-made trap. They can be ignored and the denizens will die in the cold damp darkness of starvation and dehydration. With a probable side dose of madeness.

[–] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 18 points 6 hours ago

If they are hiding in their bunkers because of an ecological disaster then we're all screwed. If they are hiding in their bunkers from us...then we'll get 'em eventually.

[–] scathliath@lemmy.dbzer0.com 19 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

Use sewage trucks, come on did we learn nothing from Saints' Row?

[–] SeaSgt@lemmy.zip 2 points 5 hours ago

This is the way.

[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 17 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

would that be THIEL tyring to flee to argentina. I read NEW Zealand blocked his bunker construction, thats why hes going to argentina instead.

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 9 points 5 hours ago

As is tradition.

[–] anomnom@sh.itjust.works 33 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

It’s more likely to be the mercenaries that already killed said billionaire and now control the compound.

Be careful might want to killdozer-up the cement truck first.

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 95 points 18 hours ago (5 children)

Every bunker has at least one secondary "escape" hatch" in case the primary entrance is obstructed - generally it's buried and isolated/insulated from the thermal mass of the rest of the bunker so it doesn't show up on IR, but a metal detector will work wonders for finding them.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 1 points 2 hours ago

Can also go the brute force route and overload the structure a lot of the time. Park a couple water tankers, a crane, whatever on top. They're usually not made with the intention of supporting an extra 100tonnes

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 30 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

That's where the bee truck comes in.

[–] Jesus_666@lemmy.world 19 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

What's this? A bunker full of billionaires unbothered by bees? My dump truck full of bees ought to put a stop to that!

[–] Soulg@ani.social 13 points 11 hours ago

Thanks, doctor bees!

[–] iocase@lemmy.zip 48 points 16 hours ago (2 children)

You can also find them with ground penetrating radar since they tend to use sand as that insulating layer. From underneath they open a hatch and drain the sand out to clear the escape hatch. A big block of sand is plain and obvious to identify on a 250MHz system.

[–] lauha@lemmy.world 29 points 14 hours ago

I'll just use my Amazon basics ground penetrating radar then

[–] pipe01@programming.dev 20 points 15 hours ago (1 children)

Sounds like you have a suspicious amount of experience

[–] chaogomu@lemmy.world 11 points 14 hours ago

I'm guessing utility location.

[–] The_v@lemmy.world 73 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

So you need two cement trucks.

[–] Thteven@lemmy.world 50 points 17 hours ago (2 children)

One cement truck, a metal detector, lawn chair, 12 gauge, and some beers oughta do it.

[–] Drusas@fedia.io 8 points 14 hours ago

Load the secret entrance to with booby traps all around it. Much more entertaining.

[–] CIA_chatbot@lemmy.world 14 points 16 hours ago

This guy ~~fucks~~ hunts!

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[–] Omgpwnies@lemmy.world 37 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Every bunker will be built by people who won't be invited to live in it. The locations of all exits, vents, water supplies, etc. won't stay secret for very long.

[–] GuillaumeGus@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 13 hours ago

That's why you kill the workers in tragic accidents.

[–] mrmisses@lemmy.world 132 points 19 hours ago (13 children)

Just find the air intakes and get creative

[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 91 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

How much glitter can a HEPA filter hold?

[–] WereCat@lemmy.world 9 points 9 hours ago (1 children)

How much surmstrong can it block?

[–] HappyFrog@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] W98BSoD@lemmy.dbzer0.com 55 points 18 hours ago

Enough to be faaaaaaaaabulous!!!!!!!!!

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 13 hours ago) (1 children)

Well, the problem will be their perimeter security.

You'd essentially be treated as a VBIED, and lit the fuck up by assault rifles and/or swarms of suicide drones.

So... you could maybe attempt the 'killdozer' strategy...

Or, you could try low visibilty / high mobility.

Motorcycle, fuck maybe even an E-Bike, and hand made thermite charges.

Shitty thermite is really not that hard to make.

If you got through either AP Chem or a first year of Chem classes at Uni, and you can read the wikipedia page for thermite, you can probably figure it out. Also not that hard to figure out how to ignite it. Sparkle sparkle!

Just melt the air vents.

For further creativity, either wait for or stage nearby distractions.

And then have a very thorough plan to completely fucking vanish.

... you'd also have to, you know, gather all the required supplies for any plan, in a manner that does not raise anyone's suspicions, and probably do some tests first.

That's the nearly impossible part... you will almost certainly be unexpectedly meeting with Mr. FBI during that stage.

[–] redsand@infosec.pub 2 points 2 hours ago

If they're in bunkers the FBI isn't helping. Society has collapsed. Cut utilities and destroy generators from afar. You can trebuchet tar balls, rocks, anfo, napalm, whatever to deal with remaining resistance. Or yeah killdozer, they're unlikely to have anything more than .50BMG and construction equipment is fleet keyed.

[–] defaultusername@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 15 hours ago (2 children)

What's your favorite idea?

Mine is being creative.

[–] Fetus@lemmy.world 11 points 13 hours ago (1 children)

Green is not a creative colour.

[–] read_desert@lemmy.ml 1 points 1 hour ago

OMG flashbacks to those skits

[–] backalleycoyote@lemmy.today 7 points 14 hours ago (1 children)

Once we liberate the animals from the factory farms we load up dump trucks filled with manure and bury them alive in it. Asphyxiate on the fumes of a few tons of chicken shit or drown in it, idc.

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 3 hours ago

I like this one.

Just cover critical areas in a literal metric ton of shit.

... Also, if they're using thermal cameras, random mountains of shit popping up could actually work as a kind of concealment, or confuse them.

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 24 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

Expanding spray foam insulation oughta do the trick

[–] Wilco@lemmy.zip 13 points 15 hours ago (1 children)
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[–] Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works 65 points 19 hours ago (6 children)

Why is everyone assuming the truck is actually filled with concrete? Mythbusters famously demonstrated they can be used to carry, and mix, a wide variety of products.

Like fertiliser contaminated with diesel, for example.

[–] Steve@startrek.website 42 points 18 hours ago (2 children)

A cement truck full of cement is much easier to steal than a cement truck full of anything else.

[–] CapuccinoCoretto@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Steal? Tell them your plan and you'll have volunteers!

[–] thurstylark@lemmy.today 21 points 17 hours ago (1 children)

A cement truck empty of cement would be marginally easier to steal than a cement truck full of cement...

The problem becomes filling that cement truck with anything else, though...

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[–] spacehulk@lemmy.zip 12 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

I'm in. When are we doing this?

[–] 6244901@lemmy.zip 1 points 4 hours ago

Bros been waiting for this! 😭

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