THE CYLINDER MUST NOT BE HARMED!!!
this post was submitted on 02 Jun 2026
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Loggers should be called arbortionists.
Method C. Sounding rod depth required to hit the prostate.
I know it sounds odd to do this on a tree, but trust me, it works.
Thrust*
The question is, are we talking about a very normal cylinder? (possibly stuck to something?)
It must remain unharmed
I'll ask the branch manager.
I mean you joke but the actual rule of thumb is measuring from the crotch of the branch.
I measured like this when my first girlfriend asked what my size was. I told her it was 10". Suffice to say, she was definitely not impressed when the pants came off for the first time. 😅
it took me way to long to realize y'all talking about penises ...
I thought it was optimal street pathways at first, then trees, then got surprised by the amount of genitalia referencing comments then I "realised" thanks to this comment TT
Well, it's two of us.
That's so innocent. Almost like a certain mythical character before opening her eponymous box...
Tear off the branch and measure the total length.
It is imperative that the branch not be damaged
It's just a branch who cares? Mangle that fucker lol
Ok chop down the tree and cut a line perpindicular to the bottom of the branch into the tree. Then measure the branch with watever remains of the tree attached.
Would using a chainsaw count as "chop"?
I mean, chainsaws were invented to cut up the pubic area, so you wouldn't be far off.
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Half the length plus seven
Woop woop, 7.5cm! A personal best.
The only way to get an accurate measurement is to cut the branch off first.
It is imperative that the cylinder and the larger object remain unharmed.
"It's a meat cylinder"
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here is an authority on the matter
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=81bt0ZJLMas&pp=0gcJCUACo7VqN5tD&ra=m
Average them?
Method A on account that that would be the maximum usable length
As a skilled carpenter who's used to measuring wood, this is the only answer.
I'm interested in your wood measuring services.
... For a friend
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You have to push the branch down with one hand, such that it is perpendicular to the trunk. With the other hand place a ruler to measure trunk to tip via method A. This gives the honest expectation of ''usable" length.
Shine a light directly down on it from above. Measure the shadow
Probably from the side tbh as opposed to either of these two
Wrap the measuring tape until the entire branch is wrapped. For more accurate measurements, use thinner tape.
What is your tree normally goes straight out with a cut l downward curve? The measurements are the same either way...
The generally accepted method used by scientists is to firmly push your ruler against the base of tree at the top of the branch. This is called BPEL, or bark-pressed erect length.
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I would use 0,5x(A+B) because chicks dig a big branch.
If you trim the bushes the branch looks bigger. Pro tip.
Measure from the taint and add an extra inch to the measurement for standard wood shrinkage.
What if there's a ... um ... protuberance on the bottom where the branch meets the trunk? What's the correct measuring procedure in that case?
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