this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2026
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

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[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 226 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] DarkCloud@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

I see three pairs of a kind, I win.

[–] edinbruh@feddit.it 4 points 3 weeks ago

☝️You, probably

[–] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Also a pair of a pair of scissors.

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[–] Kenny2999@lemmy.world 134 points 3 weeks ago
[–] gigastasio@sh.itjust.works 79 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)
[–] 69420@lemmy.world 24 points 3 weeks ago

Scissor me timbers

[–] orbituary@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 weeks ago

I've adopted the phrase "lip reading" to replace "scissoring."

[–] bhamlin@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

A queer of scissors

[–] peetabix@sh.itjust.works 26 points 3 weeks ago

2 pairs of scissors

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 25 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

A pair of pairs of scissors.

[–] Hupf@feddit.org 9 points 3 weeks ago

A pair squared of scissors

[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 22 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] Homo_Erectus@lemmy.zip 9 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] Dnb@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 weeks ago

Exactly like playing cards

[–] snausagesinablanket@lemmy.world 21 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (2 children)
[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 18 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

On the right is Two Pair, but you should know that it still gets trumped by Three of a Kind.

[–] Transparent_knoll@awful.systems 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

3 pair or even a flush of scissors is still beaten by a singular rock however.

[–] Katana314@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

I remember one time that I got a flush of scissors, and then my dad beat me for clogging the toilet.

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[–] veni_vedi_veni@lemmy.world 16 points 3 weeks ago

A pair of pair of scissors

[–] hOrni@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

A quartet of scissors.

[–] Underwaterbob@sh.itjust.works 13 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

I teach ESL, and this kinda shit in the English language drives me nuts. It's impossible to explain. Just gotta know it. The worst is when you're asking questions. "What's this?" for single things. "What are these?" for multiples. HTF do you explain that you have to know to ask "What are these?" when you're asking about pants or scissors. They're literally asking what those things are. It's bizarre.

[–] Bluewing@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Just blame the French for things like this. Your students will be like "Oh that explains it" and move on to the next nonsensical thing they need to learn.

Every language has it's "you just gotta know" moments. Like German. Not too hard until you start getting into technical reading and speech. Just how many words can you glue together? And why?

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[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

It is impossible to intuit, but you just introduce "pair of pants" as the singular article. Thus, two pants are "two pairs of pants."

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[–] Epzillon@lemmy.world 11 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

From the recent Tom Scott upload I learned a group of ferrets are called "a business". We need more silly names to refer to multiple items. The layered parody of a pair of a pair of scissors is indeed tickling my silly bone.

[–] Sylvartas@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

And a group of velvet worms is called "a cuddle". Idk who comes up with these but I like them.

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[–] Bratosch@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

Pair of scissorses

[–] ZkhqrD5o@lemmy.world 9 points 3 weeks ago

Scissors^2^

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 9 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Pairs of scissors, obviously.

Which 4, or 17, or 249, or 17843368 etc would also reasonably be called.

[–] lime@feddit.nu 9 points 3 weeks ago

four scissors

[–] icelimit@lemmy.ml 8 points 3 weeks ago

That's clearly four scissors.

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 8 points 3 weeks ago

Attempted murder

[–] Chee_Koala@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago

It's a troupe of scissors!

[–] CannedYeet@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

One time my grandmother gave me two pears. She said, "Here's your two pears". I said, "This is just one pair" and we went back forth a bit before she got it.

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[–] pigup@lemmy.world 8 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

Mind was blown when I was learning about an xray-based microfabrication technique. Where the x-rays are known to scise (to cut) polymer molecules.

It took me several years to realize that scissors are tools that scise things. They are prolific scise-ers.

[–] zarathustrad@lemmy.world 7 points 3 weeks ago

Scissor Sisters.

[–] fleebleneeble@reddthat.com 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] Prior_Industry@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Scissor Sisters

[–] Fedizen@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago

Pair of pairs of scissors.

[–] Okokimup@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago
[–] Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

If there’s a boy pair of scissors there, and a girl pair of scissors there, then it’s a brace of pairs of scissors.

Obv.

English is very straightforward.

[–] Zephyr@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)
[–] robocall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] benderbeerman@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

It's 2 per, as in:

Give me 2 per Cuz I need two per

[–] wuffah@lemmy.world 4 points 3 weeks ago

Multi-scissor drifting!

[–] Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

1 pant = a pair of pants 2 pant = the noise a dog makes when it's hot outside

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