this post was submitted on 06 Jul 2026
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TenForward: Where Every Vulcan Knows Your Name

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[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (7 children)

Me: [Lets direct manager know Production is down]

Manager: How long will it take to fix?

Me: maybe an hour or so

Manager: ok, draft a notification so I can send corporate-wide email.

Me: ... shouldn't I start working on the fix?

Manager: [gets pissed]

Me: [spends 3 minutes drafting an email]

Me: [starts working on a fix]

2.7 minutes later

Director calls. Spends 10 minutes telling me how important this is, why it needs to be my primary focus, asks for me to give them a quick breakdown so they can inform the AVP.

Me: [goes back to working]

104 seconds later

AVP stops by my desk. Asks why it hasn't been fixed yet. Spends a few minutes telling me how critical this outage is and needs an explanation so they can keep the VP up to speed on the status. Total time 12 minutes.

Me: [tries to start working again]

3.1 minutes later

VP calls me into the conference room for an emergency. Asks me why they were pulled out of a meeting and how bad it looks on their division this has been down so long. Demands a detailed breakdown for leadership, total time 16 minutes.

Me: [tries to start working again to fix things]

470 seconds later

SVP comes by my desk and demands to know why production is down, but gets everything incorrect and misstates literally everything about what's wrong. Says how unprofessional it is this hasn't been fixed yet and how it's costing the company money they can never get back. Chewed out for 11 minutes before I can get back to work.

Me: [tries getting back to work to bring production back up again]

Director tells me to join a conference call with disaster committee to give updates so they can triage and plan for outages across the company. Call lasts 19 minutes.

Me: [finally able to get back to working on the fix, production has been down for almost 1.5 hours]

Manager walks up to my desk. Said I estimated an hour to bring it back up and demands to know why it's still down for 90 minutes and says this is definitely going on my review.

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 25 points 1 week ago (2 children)
[–] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The number of times I have posted this at work because... well you know why.

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

It's always DNS or the WAF at my current place

[–] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

It's not DNS

There's no way it's DNS....

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] lyrial@anarchist.nexus 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

"Waaaffff!" Is what gets yelled when Warf irritates a Bostonian.

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

How do you like them Bat'leths?

[–] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago

Bat'leths? Wicked cool kid.

[–] Australis13@fedia.io 4 points 1 week ago

DNS is the first thing I check.

[–] 1995ToyotaCorolla@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

So hell IS real

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 6 points 1 week ago

So I wasn't expecting to be assaulted this early in the morning but apparently you're my coworker.

[–] groucho@retrolemmy.com 5 points 1 week ago

Fucking this.

[–] limelight79@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

I've had a similar situation. In my case it was people helpfully stopping by to suggest things, and my boss telling me to needed to work on something else that was less critical. Then I was like, hey, I'm going to telework because I can't focus here.... Oh no, you need to be here...

Great, let's work Saturday. Sigh.

[–] NotAnonymousAtAll@feddit.org 3 points 1 week ago

Every single person in this story above you in the org chart catastrophically failed at their job; but I would say your direct manager deserves most of the blame.

The main priority of everyone directly managing individual contributors should be to make sure they can all do their respective job with as little interference as possible. Asking you to waste time by drafting an e-mail for them (aka doing their job for them) is bad enough. But the real failure is not shielding you from all those other nosy idiots afterwards.

Really hope they pay you well enough to make dealing with this shameless display of incompetence across all levels worth it for you.

[–] Honytawk@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 week ago

You show your manager your call log.

All those things are logged for a reason. Use it.

[–] ruuster13@lemmy.zip 35 points 1 week ago (1 children)

When the meme you made becomes a template

[–] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] negativenull@piefed.world 4 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Anteaus and the Nox were so smug

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)
[–] cannedtuna@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Well what else what you call what Geordi’s rocking?

[–] ummthatguy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

A gussied up hair clip.

[–] usernamefactory@lemmy.ca 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Mid visor at best; doesn’t even shoot laser beams.

[–] toynbee@piefed.social 5 points 1 week ago

... As far as we know.

[–] marlowe221@lemmy.world 28 points 1 week ago

It does feel like that when that happens…

[–] NaibofTabr@infosec.pub 23 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

And each of them want at least a 15 min 1 on 1 meeting to ask what is going on and how long until it's fixed.

[–] CannonFodder@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

1:1 meeting with each combo is 45 meetings. But many can happen simultaneously. Too complicated for me to figure out. Better bring in a coordination manager.

[–] Thebeardedsinglemalt@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Juan is the one digging and everyone standing around are the ones saying he's just a lazy DEI hire...3 of which are cousins working at their family business who were hired to a 2nd tier position straight out of high school.

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 week ago

I worked digging ditches for pipe for a few summers during college for a private construction company. One time we were tying new pipe into an existing line and when the excavator exposed the old pipe it was really old cement and pretty much crumbled away. The water for that area had to be shut off, and since it was the city's pipe we had to wait for the city to fix it. A truck arrived at 5:00 on the dot (that's when you start getting time and a half if you work for the government) with like 5 dudes, and things unfolded kinda like in this picture. One of them went into the ditch and dug out the pipe a bit while the others stood around watching. Then he came out and another guy went in while the others watched.

I mean, good for them to have the union so they don't need to bust their asses constantly or whatever it was, but we couldn't go home until the water was back on so I ended up exhausted with an 18-hour day, and it feels like it didn't need to be quite that long.

[–] FinalRemix@lemmy.world 23 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I called support over a 3d scanner I'd bought that wasn't working right, and 2 hours in, I had six engineers crowded around their webcam like this. It was amazing.

[–] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago

Hahaha, amazing!

[–] jaybone@lemmy.zip 16 points 1 week ago (3 children)

“Do you know how to exit vi?”

[–] Crackhappy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 week ago
[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 1 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Repeatedly slam ESC and CTRL-C followed eventually by a shameful : and then a q. Then a q! because you only read half the message. Then screaming

[–] Colonel_Panic_@eviltoast.org 1 points 1 week ago

Legend speaks of an ancient manual that held the knowledge of such incredible feats as this. None I know of have ever ventured there and returned. Best to leave the ancient forbidden arcane knowledge at rest and not disturb the techno spirits.

[–] nanometer1625@thelemmy.club 8 points 1 week ago (3 children)

It's a network issue.

It's not always a network issue!

EditIt was a network issue.

[–] baronvonj@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago

must be a problem with the super-visor.

[–] essell@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Probably DNS

[–] negativenull@piefed.world 6 points 1 week ago

This is bloody fantastic! So true!

[–] Sxan@piefed.zip 5 points 1 week ago

Move right... more... more... more... NOW CLICK! CLICK NOW!!! NOOOOO, YOU FOOL!!!

[–] kryptonianCodeMonkey@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

This is currently me, but for a non-prod issue from another team that is not our teams problem yet needed to have an emergency call with 10 engineers on it including 3 from our team and ultimately resolved when they just retried the deployment again. During lunch too.

OP's mom posted more nudes Insert meme here