Can you all really not acknowledge other people's hotness to your partner? As long as you don't try fucking them what's the issue? If they don't trust you why even be together?
this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2026
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There's a few strands of toxic monogamy that are pretty common. Really jealous, controlling, and with poor emotional regulation.
I'm lucky my current partner is very chill about these things. I'm still good friends with two previous partners and it's never been an issue. We've all hung out together.
Some people even want their partners to get jealous and controlling and think they don't really love them if they don't.
I'm in an open marriage with a slightly bi woman, and these boomer-tier memes are always so funny to me. We look at women together, and when she asks if I want to sleep with them it feels more like coaxing than a trap.
I'm monogamous but it doesn't mean we can't appreciate looking at hot people. How conceited would you have to be to think you're better looking than everyone else your partner sees.
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Yes! And not just acknowledge hotness, but sometimes more depending on the couple. My husband and I not only acknowledge other peopleโs hotness - we will fuck them given the opportunity.
Every person is different and every relationship is different.
Same here. We allow each other to fuck others when given the chance. I can't wait for her stories
See, I have compersion (the opposite of jealousy where youโre happy someone else is happy without you), but my wife doesnโt. Weโve worked through polyam with a therapist, so weโre fine, but I would love for her to have a partner that isnโt mine also.
I can see how my comment came off as disparaging people in open relationships. I didn't intend that. I was just directing it at those who are jealous, presumably because they're worried about their partner being interested in other people.
Oh I wasnโt offended! I was agreeing and adding on with my own experience lol. Iโm sorry if I came off too blunt!
I edited it to show that I agreed with you.
Jealousy is one of those personality attributes that can swing (heh) wildly in intensity from one extreme to another for different people (or sometimes the same person at different stages of their life).
It can be almost 100% emotional and irrational or can be "meh" or even "that's kinda hot".
But you don't have to stay with someone like this. It's abusive.
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Yeesh, so many people grumbling about poor relationship dynamics. The whole joke is that it was all in his head - she teased him a little, and he put himself into a tailspin by losing an imaginary argument.
I've done that kind of thing a few times myself - my wife says something innocuous, and I read into it until I've gone completely off the rails. Has nothing to do with anything she's done, it's all to do with me misreading what's happening and forecasting wrong without checking anything. That's the joke.
at one point in our late 20s my wife worked with a woman who wore the same dresses and had the same hair length from behind and I walked up behind her, thinking it was my wife (it was my wife's cube/desk) and wrapped her in a big hug then, smelling the different perfume, realized my mistake.
Realized I fuuuuucked up, apologized and they both laughed (wife was on the other side of the room).
I have heard about this incident 2-3 times a year since it happened and doubt my wife will ever let it go lol.
Yes, but not as pretty as you.
Youโre a smooth operator. ๐๐
Almost as smooth as you
This is so weird to me. My wife and I are so comfortable with each other that we even point out attractive men or women to each other, it doesn't change anything.
To me, this kind of relationship is one about to crash and burn, might as well just end it on a nice note
Long form boomer humor
I would not want my partner telling me other people are attractieve but I also would not want them asking me if I think people are attractive, that is just drama fishing.
* Phone Vibrates *
Me: Hot girl just text me. I'm prett popular.
My wife: That was me. I just texted you.
Me:
๐
โI donโt know, I was too busy thinking about youโ
That absolutely feels like the right kind of reaction! 10/10
I'd rather not deceive my partner, even if it's just with low effort pleasantries like this. It takes the right kind of partner and lots of work, and it only happened in our case because we're both autistic, but when you can always be 100% honest and accurate it's a life changer.
Or they were being honest, no deception required.
true
In all honesty, if someone makes me think of my partner, I think of my partner. If someone is hot without reference to my partner, different story.
now that you say that, yeah.
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Me in the shower thinking of what I should have said:
"The parts that looked like you were incredibly attractive"
There's that famous scene in "The Little Prince" where MC is like: "It's the time that you've spent with your rose, that makes your rose so important." And that's really true.
In this case I'd be like: No, because they aren't the one who was there for me when I got sick. They aren't the one who listened to me when my moms died. And they aren't the one who I cooked for every weekend and helped out with career stuff and watched anime with. Even if they kinda look like you, they aren't the you that I've been with, and that makes you a thousand times more attractive.
that trap he set himself
I dunno, I'm attracted to personalities.
I can't look at this and not think about all of that sweat dripping down onto her face. That poor woman.
Maybe she's into it, just look at that smirk
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Bro fucked up. Now shes mad at you for 2 things. Should have taken the argument then went to the sofa.
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