this post was submitted on 03 Aug 2026
732 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

22193 readers
2166 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, ableist, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 211 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Ohhhh that's gonna piss off the plague rats.

[–] manniesalado@piefed.social 19 points 1 week ago

But, but, but...what about thew leukemia you get from those bad medicines???

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] SnoopSqueak@lemmy.today 147 points 1 week ago (3 children)

The health secretary’s call for parents to vaccinate their children for measles contrasts starkly with the many years in which Kennedy has been a leading proponent of misinformation questioning the efficacy and safety of vaccinations. Even since he became the country’s top health official, he has depicted a measles vaccination as a personal choice and claimed inaccurately that the power of the inoculation is waning.

Children are dead because of what he chose to say.

He went on to blame the outbreaks on religious communities who eschew vaccines and on global health conditions.

I mean... a broken clock is right twice a day, I suppose. But he should not be in the position he has been appointed to. More people are dying.

[–] ChicoSuave@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago

Half his audience are those religious nuts so he is effectively throwing his audience under the bus. The only people who will be his audience are the crunchy Karen types who have convinced themselves that they are different from the other girls.

[–] mycodesucks@lemmy.world 24 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't worry... It'll only take another 20 years to get back the herd immunity we already lost. And that's assuming the idiots who listened to him in the first place don't decide this is a liberal psyop and they know he REALLY means NOT to get the vaccination.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 12 points 1 week ago (2 children)

A broken clock consistently says the same thing. He's not even a broken clock.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] gedfromgont@piefed.ca 130 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

[...] Kennedy told Bash “you probably don’t understand this because you’re not a scientist”.

The journalist riposted: “But you’re not, either.”

Lmao! Well done!

[–] snoons@piefed.ca 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I have received +3 Mental Damage from reading that first bit.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] scytale@piefed.zip 110 points 1 week ago (1 children)

To everyone saying broken clock and a glimmer of hope, you just need to read the article that it isn’t. He was just cornered and had no room to wiggle out of it.

Any hope that Kennedy’s measles statement might indicate a change of heart were dashed in the rest of the CNN interview in which he turned combative. Batting off questions from Bash, the health secretary responded with personal attacks.

He accused the CNN host of “saying nonsense”, “repeating like a parrot” and “making assertions you can’t support”. In one especially demeaning remark he said Bash had become “flustered”.

“I’m not flustered at all,” she asserted in a calm voice. “I am frustrated because you are the HHS secretary and you are talking about things that lead to vaccine hesitancy in this country.”

In a further comment dripping with condescension, Kennedy told Bash “you probably don’t understand this because you’re not a scientist”.

The journalist riposted: “But you’re not, either.”

Kennedy used the CNN exchange to spread further misinformation about other aspects of public health. He claimed that both respiratory syncytial virus (RSV) that is a major cause of infant mortality and Lyme disease were caused by manipulation of germs in laboratories.

[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 1 points 5 days ago

What a great interview though

[–] friend_of_satan@lemmy.world 69 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Vaccines are not supposed to be reactionary, they are preperatory.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Salamanderwizard@lemmy.world 60 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Grandfather Nurgle will not be pleased.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Same exact thing happened to Morty when he got complacent with spreading the plague. Now Typhus is the favorite

[–] Alexstarfire@lemmy.world 15 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I can't tell if this is a Rick and Morty reference or something else.

[–] sad_detective_man@sopuli.xyz 19 points 1 week ago

You wouldn't be the first

[–] cley_faye@lemmy.world 57 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Now imagine if instead of recommending vaccination during an outbreak, it was recommended before anything happened. Crazy thought, I know. Only way this could have happened is by not having a complete moron obsessed with his countless delusions as the fucking head of the health department of one of the largest country in the world, is all.

[–] Napster153@lemmy.world 14 points 1 week ago

Capitalism when the plague outbreak shatters an economy and all the money you piled on isn't going to save you from sickness that doesn't give a damn.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 51 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

The sad thing is that millions of people have actually been looking to him for medical advice, which is like taking wardrobe and makeup advice from Ronald McDonald.

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Steve@startrek.website 44 points 1 week ago (3 children)
[–] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago (2 children)

It was since discovered this is caused by women abusing Tylenol.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 42 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

"I lost my virginity to an all metal toilet in Guam. It was Robert Downey Sr's 43rd birthday party, I was bill cosby's +1 and we were celebrating at the corporate training restaurant for Cici's pizza. The toilet penetrated me with the confidence of an Olympic fencing champion and I saw the face of god. They served corn dogs, but reverse what you're picturing."

-RFK Jr., 12 years old, mumblng to himself and convulsing before passing out in a ditch after snorting the entire contents of a full size fire extinguisher

[–] nullspace@lemmy.world 36 points 1 week ago (1 children)

what the fuck did i just read

[–] Snapz@lemmy.world 35 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

The truth, brother... The truth.

P.S. RFK Jr. probably killed a young girl with a golf club and the family had a "lesser" cousin take the fall. And his wife later hung herself. What the fudge, right?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Carighan@piefed.world 39 points 1 week ago (4 children)

Oh how the turns have tabled.

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] bilb@lemmy.ml 37 points 1 week ago
[–] jtrek@startrek.website 28 points 1 week ago (1 children)

He should be personally, criminally, liable for the deaths and suffering caused by his policies. So should leadership that supported him.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] 1egg4u@lemmy.world 27 points 1 week ago (4 children)

To be honest im kind of surprised he backtracked, i was fully certain he would let people die and perpetuate an outbreak just to stick to his schtick

[–] Nobody@anarchist.nexus 13 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Before bending the knee to Trump, RFK Jr. said he believed the FDA was suppressing data on a host of issues. It’s likely he’s now been aware for quite some time that isn’t the case. Maybe the full weight of how wrong he is finally has an effect on him.

That, or he’s looking to distance himself from Trump like so many others. Blood in the water.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] TrickDacy@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm assuming someone finally told him he could later face consequences for this. Not that he will, but perhaps he just got a little paranoid of what could happen if the world got saner at some point.

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] aamram@lemmy.dbzer0.com 22 points 1 week ago

Imagine one of the dumbest persons on earth who is also a well known antivax telling you that you have to get some vaccines... and yet many people will still firmly oppose... We do live in the dumbest timeline.

[–] MrSulu@lemmy.ml 22 points 1 week ago

Even if we could magically vaccinate every single American today, the virus has a foothold and will spread by usually transmission. People will still go to work, school, shopping, social events etc. There will be more deaths. RFK llike to moron he is, will probably use that to say that vaccines arent effective.

Vaccinating now is still helpful, so if you're not covered, get covered! Tell everyone you know.

[–] Manjushri@piefed.social 22 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

OMFG!!!11! THE DEEP STATE GOT TO HIM!!!

/s just in case...

[–] psycho_driver@lemmy.world 21 points 1 week ago

Lord Dookie Diaper will be most displeased.

[–] A_Chilean_Cyborg@feddit.cl 17 points 1 week ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Tollana1234567@lemmy.today 16 points 1 week ago (29 children)

which is it, vaccinate or not to vacicnate. anti-vaxxers are unlikely to vacciante.

load more comments (29 replies)
[–] rayyy@piefed.social 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Which is it? Vaccines are bad or get vaccines? It depends on the wind, it seems.

[–] Hawk@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 1 week ago

The first phase was the "fuck around and find out"-phase.

Well, the fucked around and are probably in full damage control now

[–] generic_computers@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

So, what company paid him to say that? He obviously didn't come up with that on his own.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

MAGGA: 🎶 FUCK YOU I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME... 🎵

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›