Ask Lemmy

One of the best things I have learned to do as a way to influence people and make friends is making cookies.

I am the kind of guy who doesn't take cash either. I do shit like that for my neighborhood to build community.

Be a good neighbor, keep your mess out of his life and reciprocate if he asks for help.

Send in a cleaning crew to get rid of all that hair they left behind, and a cheesecake, then your good.

I once heard a story about a video editor who wouldn't take money, so the guy who ran the YouTube channel (black pants legion) sent him cases of cured meats until he accepted the money instead.

In my case it would be easy because I like to make stuff to give to friends and family from time to time, like a loafs of bread, jams or tote bags made with good fabric.
Is there something you do well that he would appreciate?

Cheese. everyone loves cheese

If people can't, or don't enjoy receiving money as gift, I always recommend giving people experiences.

Do something for them that they can't, won't, or don't even know about doing.

Thought about a couple cases of his favorite beer. Still might do that. Any other ideas?

Consumables that the person already likes make great gifts, since they will get used up and not sit around.

I usually avoid abusable substances, just in case the person has a carefully balanced relationship with that substance.

But you know your friend.

Sometimes I just ask first. No real reason this needs to be a surprise.

"I know you said you won't take cash, but I'm going to grab you two cases of X as a thank you, on my way back."

Then they get a chance to call me off, or redirect me if it would be a problem.

And I'll always let them call it off with even a mild "no thanks", since they might not want to say to me "I have a real problem with X and I can't safely have thay much on hand.".

If you think think alcohol is his thing, then I’d get him a nice bottle of scotch over a larger amount of something cheaper. He’ll remember the best scotch he’s ever had for a long time, while just more beer is going to be forgotten.

If he objects to you purchasing items for him - and that I understand - I highly recommend a home baked item, personally decorated to celebrate his time taking care of your beloved cat. I’m betting he’ll like your appreciation more than the value of a gift, and that’s a delicious way to show it.

If he is the kind of person who send pictures of him and your cat while youre away, have a small one printed and framed and gift it to him with a hand written thank you.

Consumable souvenir from wherever you're going is an obvious choice. If you're any good at cooking/baking, something homemade is also a good choice (and much harder for him to turn down).

Cases of a favorite beer sounds like a good idea! My mom always urged some kind of consumable as a gift in these situations. Consider if there’s anything unique to where you’re going (e.g. if I went to Hawaii, I’d bring back a Kona blend coffee).

Cake. Beer.

When people are difficult about accepting cash as thanks, I'm a fan of hiding some money at their place or in their stuff. Depending on the person though, they might figure it out and thus begins a pretty silly back-and-forth battle.

This summer we let the neighbors park in our driveway since there is currently construction on our street. They've dropped off brownies, cupcakes, and a freshly rolled joint as thank you. And if you're wondering, they were just regular brownies and cupcakes.

Framed picture of your cat

Brownies and a bottle of whiskey

If he's the type of guy that doesn't expect repayment and did it out of the kindness in his heart, you can reciprocate by doing the same. Let him know you owe him one, and make sure sure it's received that you're serious and not just something "you say".

When your time comes to do something for him, do you expect payment? Or for him to grovel?

Brownies or cookies, homemade if you can make them otherwise splurge a little for something fancier than regular store bought.

I always opt for something you can eat or drink if they say they don't want gifts. That way it won't clutter anything up and you were still able to give them something. So if not the beer, some candies or maybe a tray of smoked salmon would be a good idea. Or if the place you are visiting has some type of specialty, like a local spice or fruit, maybe that.

I just looked after my neighbor's cats and they gave me a card with a lovely thank you note and a door dash gift card. Totally wasn't expecting it but it was sweet. Maybe something like that?

I vote beer. Or baked goods if they dont have any allergies because nothing is worse then getting a box of delicious looking cookies filled with nuts that'll kill you.

The beer is a good one. In part because it's a thing people commonly do, so it's automatically understood as a good will gesture of thanks that won't make a person uncomfortable the way cash would.

A jug of whatever alcohol they have where youre going. As long as he drinks. Like a local brewer.

I'm similar to that guy, I usually skip on cash in lieu of weed or beer. Those are usually good enough for me, because I'm mostly just hanging out with a cat

A potted flower or other house plant.

They can appreciate it for a while, and when they do they'll think of you.

My manager would occasionally get me a pizza rather than giving me any more money.

Smoke a bowl with them.