"Dad, can I go to a party with my friends?"
"You gonna drink?"
"No."
"Do drugs?"
"No."
"Have sex?"
"No."
"Then why the fuck do you wanna go to a party?"
this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2026
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What's the point of partying if not to poison your brain and infect your genitals.
This is why we invented condoms.
The other two are a lot more difficult to do without damage or risk
There are plenty of fun substances with a fraction of the risk presented by alcohol
This is why we invented condoms.
Doesnt do much when half the population doesnt know how to put one on due to failed sex ed.
Why do people seem unable to comprehend just enjoying being around friends?
And no, this isn't a dig on introverts. It's a dig on the older generations that seem to hate their spouses and can't be around other people while sober
There's a certain type who thinks it's a big adult flex to act exhausted by work, being annoyed with their family, and getting drunk to drown their self-inflicted sorrows. They've always been pathetic. I think (hope) it's a dinosaur that's slowly going extinct.
Why do people seem unable to comprehend just enjoying being around friends?
Drinking, in particular, is a proven way to relieve anxiety around strangers. So, when you're at a party with people you don't know, and you don't want to feel nervous about it, you drink a beer or do a shot or whatever. Being in a crowded room, talking to people you don't know, maybe even singing and dancing with them all come more easily after that. Liquor is often described as a "social lubricant" for this reason.
Harder drugs can be even more potent.
The sex kinda follows logically from there. Especially when it's a room full of young, good looking, horny people.
Drinking, in particular, is a proven way to relieve anxiety around strangers. So, when you're at a party with people you don't know
Except we're not talking about meeting strangers, we're talking about spending time with friends.
And while it can be fun to drink with friends, not being able to enjoy being around them while sober points to a lot of different problems.
Except we’re not talking about meeting strangers, we’re talking about spending time with friends.
Have you never been to a house party before? Friends and friends of friends and dates of friends of friends and occasionally neighbors who just wander in off the street.
not being able to enjoy being around them while sober
Imagine being 16 and going to a party, excited to try beer for the first time, and getting lectured like you're a 40 year old alcoholic.
"New Mario Kart game just dropped"
"Cool. Tell me if it's worth picking up a copy"
Sounds like a shit party
Having been with my wife since high school, the amount of time between “no fooling around” to “where are my grandchildren” was shockingly short.
should've speed run it and knocked her up at 16
Usually those two things are a day apart. The statement has always been: don't do shit that might get you kids out of wed-lock.
Once you are married, that obviously is no longer an issue.
Is the difference in time between, them having to feed and clothe you and the time at which you'll be able to feed and clothe your own child.
I want to have grandchildren, but they don't want to pay for them and raise them.
No fun, only missionary for the purpose of procreation.. with the lights off.
My parents: cmon, why won’t you have a beer with us?
Also my parents when I grab a second beer later that night: Jesus fucking Christ you’re an alcoholic
Yeah, sorry mom and dad, you guys aren't going to be able to keep up with me.
It took me a while but eventually you will break free from the shackles that are your parents. You are your own person and you don’t have base your reality on what your parents told you as a kid.
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Yeah, pisses me off they made me waste my young years thinking this. If only we could reset. Oh well, I still got time.
They do that knowing you're not going to listen to them anyways typically.
I figured you were being economical to match the slave wages in this market.
My parent is also raised me to avoid alcohol, partying, and sex. Which is why I moved out at 17 and started living on my own terms. And I will absolutely never respect anyone who stays at home for money when their parents impose rules on them. If you're an adult and your parents still phrase things in the imperative when they speak to you, you're not actually an adult.
My parents taught me not to do those things either but I did all of them. Even became an alcoholic which I denied until my 40’s, not ideal, parents aren’t wrong, teenage you will do what ever
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