Alright let's see what I can remember! Most of this is pulled from the Behind the Bastards podcast episode on him (great podcast about terrible people) and the rest is supplemented from wikipedia to refresh my memory.

It's worth noting that, possibly due to Seagal's mob ties, a lot of folks who have come to court with credible accusations have subsequently mysteriously withdrawn their accusations or otherwise failed to finalize their court cases.

First off, bro wants to fuck any woman he thinks he can lay hands on and has had consistent credible sexual assault accusations against him his entire career. Particularly noteworthy is that he worked REALLY HARD to try and get Ray Charles' granddaughter alone in a room with him during an impromptu casting event at his home after meeting her at Ray's funeral. Her dad, Ray jr, tagged along and prevented this initially, but she was hired as his assistant, and walked on day one after he explained what kind of "massages" he expected. This habit of sexual assault also applies to minors, to whom he has bragged, in adult life, to that it's fine, because he has girlfriends their age (bro lies about anything and everything he thinks will make him sound good and cool though, so make of this what you will, on multiple levels)

His time as a cop was actually aired as a tv show: Steven Seagal: Lawman. As stated, he drove an army surplus tank through a home. He actually SHOT the 11 month old puppy afterwards, separately from the tank thing, in the same event.

As stated, he got his start through mob ties and, around the turn of the millenium, when he walked out of a mob funded film deal, was sued and threatened by a crime family over it. He subsequently narc'd on them and some arrests were made following his testimony on RICO act charges. Seagal would subsequently settle out of court. Everything I've heard about the man makes him sound like a cowardly bitch, so I'm assuming they bled him for millions.

He has a long record of deliberately hitting stunt performers during fight scenes, because of course he does. There is one story of him claiming, baselessly, that thanks to his aikido training he was immune to being choked out (???), so a stuntman indulged him in a bet and subsequently choked him out. I've heard a number of similarly amusing anecdotes about the man one might call instant karma on a variety of obviously bullshit lies, many of them involving stolen valor. The dude LOVES to pretend he was black ops, navy seal, whatever sounds good at the time (imagine why he started a film company to keep making movies about him actually being these things into his late age. Dude is a massive LARPer)

Dude owned two human trafficked Russian women for some time, keeping them as sex slaves. Iirc, this occurred during the time he was filming being a cop (it may have been before, one way or another, the accusations didn't keep him off the force)

Speaking of Russia, dude is a huge fan of Putin (wild how the best people somehow consistently become friends with dictators) and has described him as "one of the great living world leaders" and endorsed invasions of Ukraine. He's also cozied up to Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines and Nicolás Maduro of Venezuela

That's all I can think of at the moment, but it's been a good use of waking up in the middle of the night wide awake. There's probably more I'm forgetting, though

Sex slaves human trafficked from Russia, land of a dictator he openly praises. I did a longer writeup elsewhere in this thread, but most of the details come from the Behind the Bastards podcast episode on him

Or stand up from the chair.

You have to be able to lift FROM the chair

Oh it is serious. That genuinely is the level of quality at the late stage of that man's career. His movies were mind bogglingly bad. He was probably making them only to launder money.

Unless Steven Seagal has been doing a bit since his career tanked thirty years ago, it's serious.

Someone has!

Also sorry for linking to the shit site but at least it's direct.

The only time I lay down in VR is Superhot VR, and that's never relaxing.

The Macarena is a more effective method of self defense than aikido.