Probably a sexologist would be better for that than a pornstar, since porn is about looking good, not feeling good
this post was submitted on 23 Aug 2026
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There are quite a few porn stars who have become sexologists and sex therapists.
They don't need to be mutually exclusive.
They don’t need to be mutually exclusive.
They aren't exclusive, but they aren't the same thing, so there's no real confirmation that a pornstar knows more than your average woman on, enjoyable sex rather than looking like she enjoys it.
Concept of Pornstars teaching satisfying sex is to me on par with WWE wrestlers teaching self defense classes. Sure some WWE wrestlers probably have actual training in that category. But there's probably more people with just a focus on actual self defense fighting that could do the job better.
I didn't say they were. I offered the fact that there are quite a few people out there that are both porn actors and sexologists.
Pornography is (typically) not just filming people having sex. It's acting. The positions and sex acts chosen are ones that film well and are appealing to the target audience as fantasy, not ones that are necessarily the most pleasing. There is also no universally pleasing sex act.
For the same reason the stars of Grey's Anatomy don't teach at medical schools.
Acting isn't real.
But the cast of Scrubs did teach at a medical school.
Do you think that actors who play doctors on TV would make good surgeons?
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Sex and porn are very different things. A lot of young men enter into sex imitating porn, and the results tend to be terrible.
In reality good sex is more about communication and trust than about being able to pull of crazy stunts. And once you have a good connection with someone exploring stuff is part of the fun, not something you'd like to outsource to a professional.
Of course sexologists can play an important role and people can take inspiration from wherrver, but it is really about something completely different. Porn does a lot of harm in general.
Nina Hartley made me better at cunnilingus. I had one ex who said, "How do you know!?" Well, that's how.
I 100% pass that exact video on to people who want to know how to be better at eating pussy with the caveat that most women will go wild for about 1/3 of the demonstrated techniques. Which third seems to be entirely unique woman to woman.
I think I saw the same video. My partner at the time was very pleased.
Where can you even get these? They are from the 1990s
That doesn’t mean they don’t still exist. Also she wrote the book in 2006.
If you're a Xennial its easy. Go back in time and search through your dad's wardrobe. That's how I watched it.
Did you learn anything?
I like to think so, in all seriousness it was quite useful. Really emphasised importance of foreplay and safe sex (including how to use a condom) which when the time came as a teenager was invaluable.
Let me introduce you to Nina Hartley
She is a sex educator now and an all around kick-ass lady.
Las Vegas Weekly has described Hartley as an "outspoken feminist, sex educator and advocate for sexual freedom" and "a guiding force for a generation of feminist porn stars".[4] She has described herself both as a "classical liberal feminist"[38][39] and a democratic socialist.[32] Hartley began engaging in feminist activism in the 1980s.[40] She has said:
"Based on my experience as a woman and a sexual being, and my understanding that I had the right to decide for myself what to do with my life – that's what I understood to be feminist, to give everybody choices – I didn't choose to be a mother but I chose this [porn] because it suits me.[41]"
Hartley has also been involved in socialist activism[42] and has also been affiliated with the Adult Performer Advocacy Committee (APAC), a labor union founded in 2014 for pornographic film actors.[32]
Hartley was elected to the board of the Free Speech Coalition in 1995,[43] and is a long-time board member of the Woodhull Freedom Foundation (founded in 2003).[44] She has made frequent appearances at academic conferences, workshops, and in the media to promote sex positivity.[45] She has given lectures at Dartmouth College, Harvard University, and the University of California.[46][44]
In 2006, Hartley co-authored Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex with her husband, Ira Levine. The book includes sections on sex toys, swinging, threesomes, dominance and submission, and erotic spanking.[14] Library Journal called the book a "well-written guide" that is "strong on both safe sex and a permissive approach", saying Hartley "handles the material frankly, accurately, and with sensitivity".[14]
That would be like Bruce Willis teaching at the NYPD academy.
You mean New York cops aren't taught to crawl through air vents or how to abseil onto ships from a bridge?
Say it with me, porn is nothing like sex
Okay. Uh. Relationships? Really?
Let me clue you in: most people in porn do not have great long term relationships. Many don't have them at all. I've known a few women IRL that were either in porn, or worked as escorts in one capacity or another. Their personal relationships tended to be volatile, at best, because it's really hard to separate out the things you do as a professional from what you do personally, especially when they look almost exactly the same.
These people are actors. I doubt they have more knowledge regarding (romantic) relationships. Also their way to orgasms are not necessarily genuine, the producers and performers are using tricks.
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A "True Sex" series would indeed be truly amazing. What we see in porn is just a bunch of acting (terrible acting).
Porn is missing a lot of things that are necessary for good sex - how often are you seeing lube or condoms?
Beyond that - other than shallow plots, you get blow job, jack hammer vaginal, jack hammer anal. Moaning that is performative rather than out of genuine pleasure.
I think a lot of young men are mislead by porn and peers into thinking there are magical Techniques (tm) that make you a sex star, when the far more complicated reality is that you have to understand your partners body.
For example, most people enjoy receiving oral sex. You might assume that giving oral to your partner in foreplay is a good thing.However, I cannot fucking stand receiving oral and it absolutely ruins sex for me, especially when I have communicated ahead of time that I do not want it. I actually want jackhammer and blow because that ties into my own mappings of sexual pleasure. This is not what the vast majority of people want nor what culture tells us to want, but likely neither are your particular sexual desires. The best sex comes from when you connect with what they want too.
Good sex is about connecting with someone in a way such that your pleasure is tied up in making them feel pleasure but also knowing that your pleasure matters to them too. A complicated relationship ego death dance with the idea that your bodies are made to make each other cum, which is not the same as learning mechanical techniques like you would to master a claw game. This is not what porn can possibly depict or offer.
That's like asking why Scarlett Johansson doesn't give martial arts lessons because she plays black widow.
The skills that make porn look good and the skills that make you good at sex may be distantly related but any overlap is a coincidence.
You're better off learning how to make friends and build relationships with people.
While I think you are on the right idea I think someone else in the sex industry are more qualified. Most sex workers do lots of teaching of their clients in their jobs. So they should be teaching a master class.
As it stands lots of them already do. Lots of kink books are written by sex workers / pro Dommes / educators. They are worth a read
there are books regarding this? I never knew that before.
Kink books? Loads of them. I recommend The New Bottoming and New Topping book are classics and not so new anymore. They are broad and expansive with good references to get more specific books if you want to.
Nice! It would be more beneficial for me than learning sex from vids.
I've found them both interesting and helpful.
First, I think something like this does exist. I've heard ads for a service that sounded similar to this this on the Savage Love podcast.
Second, anyone interested in this topic should check out a new docu series on Nebula called Goonworld.
In Goonworld, video essayist FD Signifier explores America's simultaneous obsession with both enjoying and punishing pornography, sex workers, and the performance of sex.
It's on episode two, and it's very good.
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