Looks better than Diane Feinstein did at the end though.
this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2026
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The only vegetable in America that hasn’t been recalled.
Dear Mitch,
You look as fresh as spring lettuce.
Love,
Taylor Farms
Reporters and photographers were told by Senate staff not to take video of his remarks in the second-floor hallway, even though video is often permitted in that area. Still images were allowed.
From the AP article
Something is fucked for sure with this and they are all covering it up
Video would make his unresponsive condition apparent.
He’s being kept alive.
Is he being "weekend at berinied"?
weekend at MITCH, backstory, his wife chao went to China with his phylactery in order to use lindsey graham's soul to reanimate the lich.
It's unfortunate that Jack Burton wasn't able to finish Mitch off like he did with Lo Pan, but at least he was still successful in saving an innocent jade-eyed lady.
Wtf??? That worthless fucking ghoul is still alive???
This is an absolute ass timeline...
You cannot kill that which has no life.
This is one of the best lines Trey Parker ever wrote.
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Nothing good ever happens
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Somehow, Mitch McConnell returned
Dang, I only spotted your comment after posting the same joke. Here, have an upvote instead.
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He's a Chucky Cheese animatronic.
One of two things are happening here:
Or
Ooh, they've done a really good job on him. You can't even see the strings!
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American gerontocracy.
He heard a vote about paid sick leave was presented, and so had to come in and vote against.
“My recovery has been a long and often frustrating process, and the lingering effects of childhood polio haven’t made it any easier,” McConnell said
He's old enough to have had polio.
Well. He’s certainly not young enough to have had polio.
Rumor has it he arrived on Earth on the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs
But they want to ban vaccines.
He's like 10 years older than Ruby Bridges, I think. That would have made him old enough to scream at her while she was going into her school building or throw rocks at black people going into soda fountains.
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Lich McConnell living up to his name.
Rigor mortis is the only thing that keeps him sitting up.
he is a lich, lindsey's soul only half-reanimated his body.
Are we sure it’s not a clone of Mitch, or a ghola perhaps.
The only thing that makes sense to me is he's completely unable to speak. Other than that, no idea why everything would have unfolded the way it did and is.
Edit: He's talking too. Something stinks. Not saying it's not him, but there's something being hidden for sure.
It took some time for the dark magic absorbed through the ritual sacrifice of Lindsey Graham to fully restore Mitch to a shadow of his living self.
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Death, are you sure you don't need glasses?
Fuck it mate, we'll pay for your lasik if you want.
How long can they move him around before the wire implants degrade?
Some one brought something up when I shared to discord;
he's a millionaire, why is he riding around in a Travel Wheelchair? (cheapest, least comfortable option, usually only used when travelling for the fact that it can be collapsed quite small for car journeys)
Because accessibility is DEI.
/s
Someone paint ACME on his chair and wait for falling boulders.
One of the worst Americans in the history of this country. Hopefully he doesn't last much longer.
Just drop dead already
They took only three months to finalize the clone? I'm impressed!
When everyone wants you to die but your will to spite them is stronger.
Finally worked the bugs out of the Mitch Droid, it's ready for public viewing.
True mental illness. Go home and enjoy your last fucking 15 days on this earth.
Clock is still ticking motherfucker
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