this post was submitted on 17 Sep 2026
810 points (99.2% liked)
Programmer Humor
33253 readers
1391 users here now
Welcome to Programmer Humor!
This is a place where you can post jokes, memes, humor, etc. related to programming!
For sharing awful code theres also Programming Horror.
Rules
- Keep content in english
- No advertisements
- Posts must be related to programming or programmer topics
- If the mod doesn't find it funny, you're banned. Ha-ha!... For real: do not use the community for "statements". There are other places for such content. Keep it chill and funny.
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
I normally just skip keygen
it's such a hassle
besides, it means I can connect from anywhere
no one checks the ssh port on prod anyway
Are you my former boss?
I like to update mine based on the season. Right now it's Freddy: JSON
Public key: b26Stop543looking957at140me8339when8709Im10114naked73856 Private Key: Oh SnAp!
Should be private ssh key and public ip address. public key can be derived if necessary and it does you no good to have a key to an unknown door
If you only know private key and not public key then isn't it the same as only knowing public key? I thought those were interchangeable
You can derive the public key from the private key
I thought that too but they are not. I discovered that recently learning and configuring wireguard.
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
b3BlbnNzaC1rZXktdjEAAAAABG5vbmUAAAAEbm9uZQAAAAAAAAABAAAAMwAAAAtzc2gtZW
QyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7AAAAJAHHAUZBxwF
GQAAAAtzc2gtZWQyNTUxOQAAACC6BPuFW94rFl033+m7MHTouxkIdEXsilx+sI6Z6Iul7A
AAAEAHVmMS+9A6uhD6r6iUAxubrNuS2lx4CPayJ2B4hL8HNroE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7
GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6XsAAAACHdhbGRvQGhlAQIDBAU=
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
***
PUBLIC KEY BELOW
***
ssh-ed25519 AAAAC3NzaC1lZDI1NTE5AAAAILoE+4Vb3isWXTff6bswdOi7GQh0ReyKXH6wjpnoi6Xs
let's push some files to your github
One developer in the whole channel who actually read the requirements smh.
Bit of a mouthful to say, but I'll go with it.
What a coincidence! That's my cat's name.
I just call her whspsps instead
I'm pretty sure this name is to long form my vets office database.
-----BEGIN OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
WhattheAAAAdidyoujustAAAAAAAsayaboutmeyoulittlebitch+IllhaveyouknowIg
raduatedtopofmyclassintheNavySealsandIvebeeninvolvedinnumeroussecretr
aidsonAl+QuaedaandIhaveover300confirmedkillsIamtrainedingorillawarfar
eandImthetopsniperintheentireUSarmedforcesYouarenothingtomebutjustano
thertargetIwillwipeyoutheAAAAoutwithprecisionthelikesofwhichhasneverb
eenseenbeforeonthisEarthmarkmyAAAAAAAwordsYouthinkyoucangetawaywithsa
yingthatshittomeovertheInternet+ThinkagainAAAAAAAswespeakIamcontactin
gmysecretnetworkofspiesacrosstheUSAandyourIPisbeingtracedrightnowsoyo
ubetterprepareforthestormmaggotThestormthatwipesoutthepatheticlittlet
hingyoucallyourlifeYoureAAAAAAAdeadkidIcanbeanywhereanytimeandIcankil
lyouinoversevenhundredwaysandthatsjustwithmybarehandsNotonlyamIextens
ivelytrainedinunarmedcombatbutIhaveaccesstotheentirearsenaloftheUnite
dStatesAAAAAACorpsandIwilluseittoitsfullextenttowipeyourmiserableasso
ffthefaceofthecontinentyoulittleshitIfonlyyoucouldhaveknownwhatunholy
retributionyourlittle/clever/commentwasabouttobringdownuponyoumaybeyo
uwouldhaveheldyourAAAAAAAtongueButyoucouldntyoudidntandnowyourepaying
thepriceyougoddamnidiotIwillshitfuryalloveryouandyouwilldrowninitYour
eAAAAAAAdeadkiddo==
-----END OPENSSH PRIVATE KEY-----
EDIT: almost forgot to sign it!
Love,
/u/queerlilhayseed
Shortest RSA key.
hehe you have the word ass in your private key, what are the odds
I insert swears into all my ssh keys so they get censored out by profanity filters. Good luck hacking me now, squares 😎🏍️🛹
You should put in some Disney lyrics so they issue a takedown request if it leaks.
The == had me wondering for too long
Haha I started trying to format the text so that it was technically a valid ed25519 key, then it became too much work for a silly joke so I settled for filtering/replacing all the invalid chars and slapping the == padding at the end. Needs more AAAAAA strings to really sell it, I think, but I'm glad it turned out well enough to merit a second glance lol.
Edit: I swapped all instances of fuck|fucker|fucking with As, I think it's an improvement.
It is very good - I will steal it.
Someone help I'm being hacked!
Now reverse engineer a matching public key.
NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW
Please mark your territory by posting the hosts you have visited with your favorite cat name.
Is it bad that this bothers me purely because the public key can be derived from the private key, so providing both is unnecessary?
I don't geht it. Can you explain it with your key as an example?
Can you give me your private key so I can understand it better?
Not bad, I had the same thought.
id_rsa id_rsa.pub
lol, rsa in 2026.
🤔 I do believe this is backwards, or you're Japanese
I’m dislexic. My friends call me Dislexica
hunter2
I clicked on this post looking for this comment. Otherwise, I would have made it.
The ******* joke and its premise never fails to make me smile.
Obligatory *******
When you type your password all I see are stars.
public: fake
private: gay
That's a private / pubic key pair.
Public: Ssssssshhhh!
Private: Sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Jokes on you, I have no idea what youre talking about
I think jokes on you x2 then.
Little Satan hellper
view more: next ›