I once read a personal ad - "single white female, 8 inch clit"
We have too many labels. You're a human who knows what you like today. It's ok if something totally different floats your boat tomorrow.
this post was submitted on 08 Feb 2024
161 points (84.5% liked)
No Stupid Questions
35703 readers
3746 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
That is the best thing I've read all day. 10/10 personal ad
Totally agree. I'm not sure why everyone focuses so hard on determining how many letters there are in their alphabet. 5 years from now it might be totally diff. It would be so refreshing if people simply said "Here's what floats my boat today"
load more comments
(1 replies)
Strictly speaking, that's simply bisexual. Femboys are boys. That being said, there is no "correct" answer here that anyone else can give you.
The correct label is the one that helps you navigate the world and your own needs the best. If bisexual fits, congrats, that's it. If it doesn't, it's not, and your search continues :)
load more comments
(15 replies)
Idk, sexual orientations are just labels we make up to make sense of the world.
"Femmesexual" sounds kind of cool though.
load more comments
(3 replies)
I guess you're some flavor of bisexual as you are attracted to some men (based on the femboy remark) though you've got a distinct preference for femininity even in men. If you go scrolling through old Tumblr posts long enough you'll probably find a term someone coined back in 2013 for your exact orientation... But, like, IDK man don't overthink it. If anyone asks just say whatever feels right in that moment, straight/bi/pan/whatever.
And remember saying you identify with a particular orientation isn't some huge commitment. Saying you're bi (for instance) doesn't mean you're attracted to all men, and no reasonable person would expect that. We all have preferences within our orientation.
AITA?
No. You're figuring it out. It's okay to not have all the answers
Edit: dear learned and thoughtful internet friends, here “sexual” functions as a self-deprecating double entendre, the thinly veiled meaning of which is “attraction irrespective of sex or gender” or, in the common tongue, “colossal whore.”
So I am altering this comment for clarity. Pray I do not alter it any further.
—
If anyone asks just say whatever feels right in that moment, straight/bi/pan/whatever.
Especially in mixed company, my go-to is *-sexual where the wildcard * is silent. Those who don’t know will hear a non-answer to a rude question, but your friends will recognize it as candor.
It also sidesteps the tiresome bi/pan distinction and avoids the least favorable option: “straight.”
load more comments
(2 replies)
Who cares what label people might put on it?
Just like what you like. It doesn't need a label.
What you are today is not what you'll be tomorrow. Let yourself be. You don't owe explanations to anyone about what you like.
Hey I've got the same preferences as you. I just go with bisexual and call it a day.
I will second this ^
Sexuality is a spectrum that doesn't have clean boundaries. Some people exist in an area that could be considered "straight," for example, but there aren't hard walls blocking straight people from leaving or queer people from entering.
The less you try to define your sexuality and the more you try to be comfortable with liking what you like, the happier you'll be.
load more comments
(3 replies)
Congrats! You're human.
What incredibly enough hasn't been brought up yet, is the distinction between gender preference and genital preference. In heteronormativity they're assumed to be the same, but in reality they're not. This way of thinking also lends itself to the flexibility you're describing; note the word "preference".
Too much futa hentai is my diagnosis.
Or maybe too little. Science will be necessary.
As if there could be such a thing!
You get out there and suck a few girl cocks. Only then will you know the truth of your desires. I mean how bad could it be? Personally wouldn't worry about it. If the dude who's cock you're sucking thinks you're not gay then I would trust him.
I personally struggled for a long time trying to find the right label for my gender and sexuality. In the end, the right label for both is "just me". Whatever I'm attracted to is what I'm attracted to. Whatever I feel like on a certain day is what gender I am. Just me doing me things
The only thing I'm commenting on is the "AITA":
If anything then only for asking that question - don't be mean to yourself like that.
load more comments
(3 replies)
You're bi, my dude. You just said you love vaginas and cock. Case closed.
Yeah, they're bi and they have a type.
I understand your position. I feel the exact same way. I identify much like you, I am attracted to the feminine features not whatever label you have or what have been biologically created between your legs.
When I was younger I just told myself "nah I'm straight", and somewhere realized that i might be what people called "bi-curious". But after a while I realized I had no interest in masculinity or "regular" males.
Being able to detach social gender labels from biological genitalia and therefore further deepen my understanding and acceptance of trans and LGBTQ people helped me a lot with accepting myself and my preferences.
As for your question, it really doesn't matter. What matters is that you know what you like. Who you decide to spend time with or engage in sexual relations with is up to the people involved and no one else. I ultimately decided to still just call myself straight. Is it entirely correct? Maybe not, but it sure is the easiest.
Enjoy life, hook up with a femboy, get pegged or have a one night stand with a 6,8 mega masculine dude. It's up to you, the thing that matters is that you know what you enjoy.
Life is to short to put labels on dicks and vaginas. Just fuck it instead.
I have a friend like you. He describes himself as gynesexual. He's attracted to femininity no matter what the attached bits are.
But, as others have said, the label is really only important to you. Pick something close or make up your own.
load more comments
(1 replies)
Don’t worry about matching a label, just be what’s right for you
Straight+
Straight Extra
Bi minus
Bi lite
Or just dont label it. Labels keep us in boxes and boxes cause stress when we inevitably find out we dont fit in the box.
I came up with this idea err metaphor? Thought experiment? Anyway
Think of the shape of a 6 point star. If you are star shaped you will fit perfectly, if you are triangle shaped you will also fit, or if you are diamond shaped or a circle or a hexagon or many many other shapes.
But only a star fits perfectly.
(Heres a crude drawing of it)
You can spend years in the star box thinking its a perfect fit before you realise theres something different, something not quite right and you suddenly see that you were a triangle the whole time.
Just let go of the labels and be you, its alot more spacious outside of the box, and you dont have to be a certain way to fit in.
I long ago decided that is humans aren't attracted to "male" or "female", we're attracted to "masculinity" or "femininity". Gender has nothing to do with it.
It's why, like you, I can be attracted to a feminine looking trans woman, but not a masculine looking one, or a dude.
it's why homosexuals can be masculine or feminine (bear or boujee), and be attracted to one or three other, or both.
Masculinity and feminity has nothing to do with whether one has a cock or a vagina.
Masculinity and femininity are broad terms that encompass physical and social traits. I don't think it's possible to narrow it down quite like you have there.
My own experience of attraction has very little to do with social presentation of masculinity or femininity for example.
Humans aren't attracted only to genitalia since that shit is hard to see from afar, evolutionarily it makes sense we'd find secondary sexual characteristics attractive also, overall body shapes, hair, skin etc.
So you don't like penises per se, you like penises when attached to otherwise people who tick those feminine boxes you care about whether they be trans or just crossdressers.
That's actually really common I find because almost every single man I dated gave that same take, they all considered themselves straight and were never with a trans woman before me.
I'd say you're pretty much just straight with a specific penis fetish, even bi people IRL generally date people who are all the way masc and all the way fem.
Not to gatekeep being bi though if that's what you feel more comfortable with - go for it.
Otherwise just love who you love and move on with it.
I would argue I can be romantically attracted to people but sexually I want specific things, and they don't necessarily overlap.
Romantic boob fondling is nice, but I don't need them for sexual attraction. Penises are sexually nice but I'm not romantically attracted to them. That's to say, I'm explicitly sexually attracted to penises.
Luckily, I find multiple things romantically and sexually attractive, not just boobs and penises (which would really limit my options).
I am not always romantically and sexually attracted to the same person. Some people I'm only sexually attracted to and some people I'm only romantically attracted to.
Sounds like you are very similar to me and a billion or so other people. I don't see much point in creating a label for yourself in order to restrict yourself to that label. You are what you are and don't worry about it. I had a thing with a trans woman for a while and now I'm happily married with kids. Whatever I am has never had a negative affect on my life because I don't worry about what I am.
I'm very tired and I misread the title to say you like to cook, so I was going to suggest you're a foodsexual
You may be finsexual:
https://queerdom.fandom.com/wiki/Finsexual
Basically, finsexuals are attracted to feminine presenting people independent of sex or gender. If I understood you correctly, its the feminine presentation that appeals to you?
I'd like to speak to the board members that voted for that flag. That is lame-o.
Google maps sexual
load more comments
(1 replies)
Seems to me you are attracted to feminine genders. Assuming you are male I’d say your sexual orientation is pretty straight.
what about the feminine cocks ?
Sometimes those are straight, and sometimes they have a nice little curve to them.
load more comments
(2 replies)
You dont habe to be attracted to all genders the same way to be BI. You can have a preference or stronger attraction to certain genders and presentations. If you think that some non-binary people and fem-boys are attractive then ur probably Bi
That's called bisexual, it's not all black and white, it's more of a rainbow gradient of sexuality.
view more: next ›