Coffee machine uses 1,000GB of traffic in 10 days, leaves IT Pro shocked
yet there's nothing shocking about a coffee machine that needs to connect to the internet
this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2026
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This reminds me the tue smart tea kettle that required an always online connection to function, and became completely useless when the servers shut down.
Yes, it was a kettle. Yes, like the one you use for boiling water.
It had settings for certain types of tea that it didn't have on-device. And it didn't have a basic "just boil the water" function.
Sounds like a Juicero.
Oh gods, the Juicero. Yeah, it's of the same ilk. The "smart" trend of adding computers and network connections to things that literally never needed them.
Like the smart water bottle that reminded you about being thirsty and needing to drink.
IIRC the excuse for Juicero having internet access was to read QR codes on the fruit pouches that included the expiration date, and it would refuse to squeeze expired fruit. Because at it's heart, it was a screw press. A severely over-engineered screw press. Like Jurassic Park, they spared no expense.
Wasn't the Juicero also simply not strong enough to press actual fruit, so the bags were just... Bags of fruit juice? I remember seeing people buy one and just poking a hole for a straw like those lunch juice pockets.
No they were full of fruit. Thing is nothing stopped you from squeezing the bag with your hands.
With this much data, maybe it's not a coffee machine, but a replicator.
In other news
Gasoline-laced wooden beam catches fire, leaves OSHA Pro shocked
Anyone else remember the massive bot net that killed the internet in Europe and half the US doing a DDOS attack over a Minecraft server? Apparently it was mostly made of smart refrigerators, thermostats, and other appliances.
Pod coffee machines are a businesses dream. Lock in the customers. And then don't care about the plastic and foil waste per cup you create in order to do this. No surprise if they do other bad things. Visiting friends and they show you their pod machine? Ask them what happens with the used pod? Do them a favour and tell them there is a better way. Such as coffee machines that you put beans in. No not Heinz baked beans you moron! Coffee beans that produce only bio degradable waste. And freshly ground tastes great. No chemicals added.
Wasting your internet is trivial compared to the landfill waste created.
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IT pro shocked! Jfc what kind of society did we become? This is so embarrassing to read. Just the thought of humans ending up here. Something about an internet coffee machine malfunction.
It's all so ignorant and moronic.
Wow! It's almost as though random household appliances shouldn't be connected to the internet
But how else am i going to operate them? In-person?
I personally have found it most convenient to put my detergent and clothes in the machine, then drive out to a spot where i can get some free wi-fi. Perhaps the Starbucks in the next town over. So, 15-min drive to Starbucks (and grab a PSL since 'tis the season) and then log onto their free wi-fi, then log into my account on Whirlpool's app on my phone. Click on My Washer, select a cycle, water temperature, rinse options, etc. and press Start Cycle. By the time i get back home, the washer is almost done. I wait around an extra 10 mins or so for the cycle to finish once I'm back home, move the washed clothes into the dryer, and I'm back on the road! I've opted to start using the public library as my secondary wi-fi spot (when they're open, at least), so another 15-min drive and I'm back on the app ready to commence a drying cycle! A few choice button pushes (the app really is streamlined) and my dryer is tumbling and heating like it's nobody's business.
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mine did, too, and downloaded a bunch of torrent movies
probably training its llm
Uh, yeah! Mine too. All the pirate stuff has been my damned appliances. I delete the files immediately, of course. I wouldn't even steal a car, let alone a movie.
My coffee maker broke out of containment and played a bunch of video games during work hours at my office. Crazy what these AIs are doing.
My Smart AI Powered Candle™ 5G ultra min-max* Blue and Yellow™ Hue Smart Ultra Adapter Plus + Vegan and Eco Friendly Air Conditioning Low Callory Ambient ASMR Battery Powered Candle with RGB and ADHD with ABCD Military Grade Smart Light smart candle went rouge and went out and broke 4 Flock cameras just yesterday. It was the model with 16gb DDR5 RAM and 2TB of internal SSD storage, if that helps to identify the issue. We really might be reaching AGI soon... I'm scared for our future.
(sidenote how does one spell callory?) calory, callary, callorie, kckallaru?
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Why the fuck would you connect a coffee machine to the internet?
What advantage would you have? Anyway it requires a pod to be inserted manually, so it's not that you can operate remotely.
"But one day I could get a new setting for a new kind of recipe"
What kind of "recipe", it's just putting pressurized boiling water in a cup.
The only kind of update this machine will ever get is a DRM to block compatible/unofficial pods
BTW 10gb downloaded in 10 days is also not bad
First webcam was to watch the coffee pot. Coffee is no joke.
I imagine one feature they could claim, would be pre-set coffee brew times that are sync'd up with internet time servers to ensure they're kept in alignment with DST, and so they don't 'drift'/need routine adjustments.
I could even imagine coffee machine makers purposely gibbling the clocks, to make them drift more, if they're not sync'd up. Sorta like removing granular feature-based screenlock times on a smart phone (eg don't sleep while streaming video), and replacing that functionality with a blanket "click this function to prevent your phone from sleeping while you look at it, don't worry, we won't record your face / send any of that data out to third parties, we swear!" to force people to use the face monitoring features.
They'll also prolly build in AI, so that you can speak to your coffee machine to operate it, and remove most of the buttons at some point. Then they'll need to constantly update the AI, because "Hackers have figured out how to make our coffee machines turn into super intelligent skynet terminators! OH NO!! Update immediately and buy our stock!!! DOOOM!!".
Okay but like that shouldn't use more than maybe a few MB per month with tons of metadata added in -- it's like it's uploading HD video at the rate mentioned in OP
Yeah, but you see, they're using the new "Rich Data" time messaging blocks, which include recordings of nearby audio. They need that data so that they can train their AI models on what a normal kitchen sounds like -- so that the AI coffee maker can then alert you or the proper authorities to things like break-ins, and mice, and spouses sneaking midnight snacks, and political wrongspeak, and fires, and earthquakes. That sort of thing.
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Use a damn French press.
It's not hard.
These stupid machines suck, make shit coffee, and surveil you.
People are so lazy
And generate SO MUCH waste
Yes thank you!
Can't believe I forgot the INSANE amount of waste
Nomad said that most of the suspicious traffic didn’t escape the network.
Okay so it was just a bug that caused repeat/looping LAN traffic. This is sensationalized.
Most of the traffic....
Bugs like this are a legitimate concern in the age of internet connected coffee pots.
Why the fuck does a coffee machine need the internet.
Watching porn. Griding those beans, hnnnfggh...🥵
What furries and smart coffee machines have in common; a love for beans. 🐾
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To become part of a bot net.
To spy on everyone in your household and try to sell you more garbage coffee pods.
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Tried a pod machine at work for a bit. It made warm, weak coffee.
I use a Bialetti Moka. Makes great coffee.
I've never had a cup of coffee from a Keurig that didn't taste burnt, and wasn't a pain in the ass to get get working to begin with
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How many times is this going to be posted? It’s it even a news article. It turned out to be nothing.
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