UZI JESUS
this post was submitted on 20 Oct 2026
291 points (98.7% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
42465 readers
3691 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 3 years ago
MODERATORS
DON’T GASLIGHT ME, JESUS!
I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS, CARL!
“I am the way, motherfucker.”
I swear Jesus gets whiter in every depiction. At this point, the unicorn is more believable
Well duh! Because this is American Capitalist Jesus!
Not to sound too much like the end of Star Trek 5, but why does laser eye Jesus need guns?
Fredum
Are you asking why does a man with one weapons system need another weapon system? Are you serious? Dude, it's more weapon system! 2 weapon system > 1 weapon system you fucking noob!
See, that's why he's the king of the Jews and you're just some joe shmoe nobody.
Jesus is back and this time he's pissed!
Volume 1: HAIL TO THE KING OF THE JEWS, BABY!
Buttstallion?!?
Pilate said unto Jesus “surely you must be Jew-king”
Isn't the book of Mormon or whatever actually just "Bible: 2"?
Kinda, yeah. It's more like the "Newest New Testament" in practice. Which also means that the New Testament is more like "Torah 2: Back for Revenge!"
Though they call it The Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ."
As if it's just a remix or a cover.
I think Jewish people divide the Tanakh into the Torah, the Nevi'im, and the Ketuvim, so the New Testament would have to be at least Torah 4: Prophet & Saviour. Or, more likely, a spin-off story set in the same extended universe: The Tanakh Presents: Jesus & Paul.
It's like how Jedi Knight II: Jedi Outcast was the sequel to Dark Forces II: Jedi Knight.
"Wow so the Bible is actually a trilogy? And the Book of Mormon is Return of the Jedi? I'm interested."
Uzi Jesus got some upgrades.
The Mormons would've had a lot more buy in if this were their new holy book.
Is this Bible written by Pete Hegseth?
I remember reading the Norwegian satirist Are Kalvøs sequel of the Bible, and finding it very enjoyable.
I doubt this version can top a burnt out Christ hounded by PR consultants and everyone else wanting in on the action, while he himself only wants to play in a band singing songs about the trustworthiness of Pharisees.
Electric Boogaloo
Is it slop?
No, it is a 2012 comic book based on 3 seconds of web searching.
The Goodreads cover is completely different. The reason I ask is the weird bullet feed ending at the shoulder, but I guess that's supposed to be it waving in the air or something.
He has a belt wrapped round him and another one feeding the m60 in his right hand
I meant the shoulder of the Unicorn Pegasus.