this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2026
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i maintain that the reason everyone on the internet hates php is because the devs who write php code all day go home to their spouse and kids after work instead of arguing on the internet.
cuz, nobody really treats any other language like this, even though... gestures to npm and pypi's constant security flaws
We are fully capable of thinking PHP, NPM, and PyPi are trash simultaneously. Though it should also be said that only PHP has had decades of security flaws in the language itself, rather than a package manager.
It's just a very poorly designed language with countless footguns and fucking idiotic standard library functions, on top of being a running joke, security-wise.
Yup, PHP is a workhorse language that pays the bills. Source: My bills.
No other language is as popular but as shit.
https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/
Php improved a lot since that article was written but anyone who had a) sense and b) choice stopped using it already. And there are many ways it continues to be fundamentally broken
Or because people had bad experiences with it. Like hosting software built in PHP, which seems to have uniquely terrible hosting mechanics and version and dependency management.
Or really isn't. At least not for the last 15 or so years
If you treat programming as a job, PHP is good because it lets you get things done.
If you treat programming as a craft, PHP is gross for a whole bunch of reasons.
JavaScript gets a lot of shit and part of that's from me, a JavaScript dev.
The most insane thing I ever worked in was Qt Creator, which used JavaScript for the UI and C++ for the lower level back end stuff. The switching your brain had to do to go back and forth between the two languages was remarkable. I think Qt is the real reason the suicide and alcoholism rates in Finland are so high.
I used Qt before as a library for C++, never knew there was a Qt Creator but that was eons ago.
My heart goes out to all those Fins.
As long as they keep all those land mines on the border, they'll be fine.
I usually see more Javascript hate than PHP hate these days, mostly because everyone had forgotten that PHP exists.
Nooo but how do I hecking pad things on the left?!?!!!1!! I need 600 npm packages before I can put a div on a page
I definitely treat npm the worst because it deserves it.
'ate php
'ate js
'ate java
love me python
love me plain html
simple as
I miss the days of creating web sites in Notepad.
Big of true.
~It’s true. Am PHP dev.~
let me finish the sentence:
...because they knew about the vulnerability since 2024 and simply forgot about it.
Well, JS is just as much of a joke to me. ;)
They hate us because of our ~~freedom~~ scp-to-prod pipeline