I have a picture somewhere of an elephant with the text "PHP" masturbating
this post was submitted on 21 Oct 2026
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I rate this 4 π
i maintain that the reason everyone on the internet hates php is because the devs who write php code all day go home to their spouse and kids after work instead of arguing on the internet.
cuz, nobody really treats any other language like this, even though... gestures to npm and pypi's constant security flaws
No other language is as popular but as shit.
https://eev.ee/blog/2012/04/09/php-a-fractal-of-bad-design/
Php improved a lot since that article was written but anyone who had a) sense and b) choice stopped using it already. And there are many ways it continues to be fundamentally broken
i maintain that the reason everyone on the internet hates php
let me finish the sentence:
...because they knew about the vulnerability since 2024 and simply forgot about it.
We are fully capable of thinking PHP, NPM, and PyPi are trash simultaneously. Though it should also be said that only PHP has had decades of security flaws in the language itself, rather than a package manager.
It's just a very poorly designed language with countless footguns and fucking idiotic standard library functions, on top of being a running joke, security-wise.
Well, JS is just as much of a joke to me. ;)
JavaScript gets a lot of shit and part of that's from me, a JavaScript dev.
The most insane thing I ever worked in was Qt Creator, which used JavaScript for the UI and C++ for the lower level back end stuff. The switching your brain had to do to go back and forth between the two languages was remarkable. I think Qt is the real reason the suicide and alcoholism rates in Finland are so high.
Yup, PHP is a workhorse language that pays the bills. Source: My bills.
cuz, nobody really treats any other language like this, even though⦠gestures to npm
I usually see more Javascript hate than PHP hate these days, mostly because everyone had forgotten that PHP exists.
If you treat programming as a job, PHP is good because it lets you get things done.
If you treat programming as a craft, PHP is gross for a whole bunch of reasons.
I definitely treat npm the worst because it deserves it.
Nooo but how do I hecking pad things on the left?!?!!!1!! I need 600 npm packages before I can put a div on a page
'ate php
'ate js
'ate java
love me python
love me plain html
simple as
love me plain html
I miss the days of creating web sites in Notepad.
Big of true.
~Itβs true. Am PHP dev.~
They hate us because of our ~~freedom~~ scp-to-prod pipeline
I'm trying to find a new job here in Japan. So much of it is PHP and Ruby. I'm already depressed enough as it is!
I had a coworker adopt Ruby for a major project about 20 years ago. He didn't know it, nobody on his team knew it, and nobody else in the entire state had ever heard of it, so when the project failed after two years there was nobody around who could save it. I'm sure Ruby (on Rails) is a perfectly viable language/platform, but you wouldn't know if from these guys.
Lots of stable stuff in Japan is (or until recently was as at least some omve to go or java) ruby. It's not that it's horrible per se, but it's not going to be the most performant in some situations. I worked in grails in the past (the jvm version using groovy unsteady of ruby) and it's not the worst.
As someone with his own preferences, I would never implement something in a language no one else knew, at least without leading courses on it first and confirming ability. Bus-factor 1 is no good.
TBF, my colleague also managed to produce complete disasters in a language (C#) that he knew, the entire company knew, and lots of other programmers in the area knew very well.
Yeah, when process and oversight fail, that can absolutely happen. As someone who's been in the industry for 20 years, though, doing a thing that puts me as a single point of failure in production is just irresponsible. Maybe this is why I can't find a job; too much sense (I work for a shitty japanese company and want out)
Ruby, for network stuff? How? Why?
The guy who made ruby was japanese so lots of adoption and documentation. I spent years doing perl in the past and ruby was based on that, but I generally prefer compiled to interpreted. I would take ruby over php though
Okay, but you could've posted this in the community with literally a PHP joke as its logo: !programmerhumor@lemmy.ml
No.
It's pronounced fffp.
the first and only rce in history
You'll notice he didn't say: "security"
The S in PHP stands for security.
the S in four stands for security also
I upvoted, and guess what happened?
HAHAHAHahaha...ha... sob
The secret is saying it four times
It. It. It. It.
you found it