this post was submitted on 06 Jan 2026
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Alligators generally aren't all that dangerous. They are not aggressive at all, especially not toward humans. But they fucking will be if they know you have food and then you're fucked.
Technically we all have food in us.
Incorrect. I only have poop and wine inside me.
weird dinner ngl
Merde and Merlot Mondays aren't for everybody.
sock rae blue
Bone apple tea!
It's cool, it's keto.
Great breakfast though.
Also vomit if you ate within the last couple hours
No, that's the point. I hadn't eaten since lunch, so all i have is wine, maybe a touch of bile, and poop.
https://www.mit.edu/people/dpolicar/writing/prose/text/thinkingMeat.html
God help us if they ever figure out that we're food
Even if they did, humans are way too big for them to bother with. They are lazy as fuck. Food practically has to fall into their mouths.
So, don't put baby in the alligator mouth. Got it.
Instructions unclear, I have put a baby alligator in my mouth. It tasted like chicken!
Are you sure it wasn't a caiman?
No, caimans taste more like crocodile, common mistake!
I heard that's how abortions are done in red states now - just gotta get 'er done solo so nobody can challenge the narrative.
aww man, you ruined my weekend plans!
The hell am I supposed to do with these babies? I can't afford a trip to Lake Michigan in this economy
I've seen these fuckers eat water buffalo
Thats why they get a bag of marshmellows
So they're the black bears of the large reptile world.