Sure, some may say it’s absurd, but masturbation inspector is a good paying, high quality American job that cannot be exported overseas, and not a job I’d trust to AI.
That state senator is a visionary!
this post was submitted on 23 Jan 2025
199 points (99.5% liked)
Not The Onion
12855 readers
1054 users here now
Welcome
We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!
The Rules
Posts must be:
- Links to news stories from...
- ...credible sources, with...
- ...their original headlines, that...
- ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”
Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.
And that’s basically it!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
Wouldn't this make more sense as "conception"?
Not if you understand what satire is.
To be fair, the article doesn’t give his party affiliation and if you’re just scrollin’ on by this sounds like it could easily be from a RWNJ who believes masturbation and sex for funsies are sins and the bible should be law. Wikipedia says he’s a dem; I know nothing about him but the quote from him doesn’t read to me as ‘every sperm is sacred.’ Then again it is Mississippi so before reading the actual bill I was only 51% sure it was satire.
so it's looking to ban masturbation in mississippi.
Nah, edging is still legal
Cue the cast of Monty Python singing, ”Every sperm is sacred...."
If the Democrats aren't going to be useful, I'm glad they've at least decided to be a little funny.
To highlight how absolutely stupid this bill is, it sounds like it would outlaw menstruation and nocturnal emissions.
Land of the free.
Edit: it sounds like this is intentionally facetious to point out the absurdity of other pro-life bills.
I would love to outlaw menstruation too but my fucking body won't listen to me
Didn't you hear? Our bodies answer directly to the government now
Careful, that post could be used against you in the court of law!
Yes, correct, it is as absurd as pro-life ideas.
This could absolutely be used to keep prisoners in prison, and also probably criminalize gay men.
This is taking No Nut November to a whole new level
Life began about a billion years ago and it's a continuous, ongoing process.
3.5 billion, give or take a few years. There's some evidence life goes back to 4 billion years, but it's not as well-attested as 3.5.
I didn't see the party of the politician in the article, so no idea if it is written in jest or just regular old Republican whackiness.
The most entertaining part is that it is written as applying to men, but as written it is gender neutral and would penalize menstruation.
Edit: It is a Dem having a lark.
i'm afraid that the fascists would take the bill up and actually vote to ban masturbation. especially the bible thumpers.
Good! We need to STOP KILLING KIDS (unless it's with Gun Control!)! Wait a Democrat wrote this? Just kidding this is STUPID!
With the last exception being for sex while using contracteption, what's the point of this bill?
It's facetious, but the GOP won't get it.
Culture war idiocy. That’s it.
Edit: Merp, the bill is actually satire. It’s an actual bill, filed in an actual legislature, but the person who filed it is a Democrat, and it’s pretty obvious it’s intentionally worded to be absolutely absurd (coming from a Democrat, to be clear, because I’d take them at their word if a Nationalist Christian wrote it).
..... So is he trolling or what?
He's screwing with conservatives, yes.
It is Mississippi, what did you expect? Mississippi is one of the core Southern states.
Well, I kind of expected people to click the link to know why he filed it :(