Ask Lemmy

https://www.forbes.com/billionaires/

Donald J. Trump - Death by french fry asphyxiation on live TV

DJ Vance - Killed by a falling piece of furniture

Elon Musk - Hit by a Cybertruck in a freak accident

Pete Hegseth - Alcohol poisoning

Robert F Kennedy Jr. - Brain aneurysm live on TV

Kash Patel - shot by an unknown professional hitman

Christy Noem - Hit by a speeding dump truck

Pam Bondi - Electrocuted by a faulty power line near her podium (live, of course)

Linda McMahon - Stone Cold Stunner by a J6'er

Marco Rubio - Smashes face through a plate glass window

Elise Stefanik - Falls out a window

Vladimir Putin - Poisoned by comrade

Benjamin Netanyahu - Islamic extremist knife attack

Kim Jong-un - Slips and falls down some stairs, breaking his neck

Xi Jinpeng - Exposure to toxic honey

I could go on and on, you get the idea...

Elon Musk, death from asphyxiation being up Trumps ass for too long.

Followed by Trump, death from rectal bleeding.

It would all be on live television.

Write Kissinger's name in it, just to be sure

Nice try FBI

The first name I write down is my own. For I know what I will do with it, and I know that while I would start with the notion of doing only what i feel must I know i will grow corrupt. On the first page I will write detailed instructions disposing of this book, and then I will sign it, knowing I have literally signed my own death warrant, hoping that my will would be carried out that the book would be encased in a block of cement and buried deep.

Then I will start writing names.

And keep writing names.

Until that last day.

There are many in this world I would see removed from it For my niece's sake. For all our sakes...

There would be no statements. No declarations. There would simply be. Murder, for that is what this is. me deciding that others should be denied their lives. Maybe the world improves with them removed from it. Hard to say. I clearly believe so given what I would be doing.

Pull an epic prank and make it look like a guest book somewhere.

Write my name in it so I don’t forget it’s mine

A lot of people in the comments here are taking the high ground. "I wouldn't use it. I'm not a killer. I'm better than that."

But by not using it you are even more of a killer. This is a trolley problem. If you pull the right switch one evil psychopathic murderer dies, if you don't pull the switch thousands of their innocent victims die. If you have the power to make that decision then the responsibility for the deaths falls on your shoulders, whether it's one death or thousands.

So yeah, I'd use it. I'd start at the top of the psychopathic killer list and move down. I doubt I'd have to wonder when to stop. There are so many. But once they got the message I'd be more moderate and only use it when necessary.

"Kolanaki. Death by snu-snu."

So in other words the post is, "Who would you kill if you could totally get away with it?"

Nothing. I'm already murdering the exact amount of people I want to which is none.

I’d destroy it (if possible; I haven’t read all the rules), probably by burning. Such power would inevitably corrupt me, and the temptation to use it could become so great that merely hiding it (but keeping it intact) wouldn’t be sufficient. I’d also worry about it falling into worse hands than mine.

I don't know anything about this 'death note'. All I know is that people drown in their own bath tubs every day. Even rich and powerful people.

Let’s just say “death by spiders in butthole” would be a very common thing for the next few days.

Make my claim on the notebook by writing my name on the first page

Many who live deserve death. Many who have died deserve life. Can you give it to them? Do not be so eager to deal out death in judgment.

I'd put it in a box and drop it in a river.

Question, do you have to write a person's legal name or do you think it'll understand "Crypto Hitler"?

Don't do that. Don't give me hope.