I'm not a doctor and a dude, just speaking from personal experiences and shared stories, but are you on birth control? Birth control pills made my wife emotionally unstable when she was PMSing and finally she had enough and stopped taking them. It was a night and day difference and she hasn't taken them since. Just food for thought.
this post was submitted on 06 Apr 2025
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A lot of people suggesting Bi-polar, but to offer a different opinion, ADHD could also fit. Emotional disregulation is often overlooked as a symptom in ADHD, especially in women.
I could suggest this video as a jumping off point for further investigation.
I will also share my experience, because female hormones are really wild, and I think sharing can help others recognize what is "normal" and what can be done. I would say that you've given a description which I could apply to myself. I am neither bi-polar nor ADHD. Occasionally I will be having a standard to good week, and without any clear trigger, I will be extremely depressed and emotional. I will, without fail, start my period 2-3 days later. I can also, somewhat reliably trigger panic attacks by drinking to the point that I would call "buzzed" in the 2-3 days before my period. Fortunately or unfortunately, effects of the menstrual cycle can change as you age. These predictable "lows" that I experience only started when I was around 25.
TL;DR You should also talk to your ob/gyn, and an endocrinologist, in addition to a psychiatrist.
ITT people mentioning bipolar disorder but I would suggest a strong onset of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS).
My only question to you is, when did your menstruations start this month? You don't have to reply to this.
But look up whether they started the day you were sad, or one day/two days prior.
If it was the case, it is very likely PMS.
Keep a calendar of your cycles and you will know.
Causes of PMS may be one or many, like birth control, undiagnosed depression, a stressful time, etc. etc.
Edit: typo
I also had to think of PMDS which is like PMS but with very strong psychological symptoms. My sister got this when her Endometriosis became worse. Doing a thorough check with a doctor would be best.
From the ages of 14-40 next week, I can say hormones have easily had the most affect on my moods than anything else in this life - I am very mood stable in general, but like clockwork I can feel hormones hit and my thought patterns change. I fend off the craziest temporary depression/dark thoughts but once you know what’s happening at least you can sort of laugh at it. But when you don’t know WHY it’s happening, it’s scary as hell.
I feel like that's honestly a reasonable thing to be upset about and it's natural. I actually had something similar but I was even older, and my hormones are literally artificially maintained at a specific level that was at the time frequently monitored.
I don't think it's any disorder, I think it's fairly normal. I have a hard time trusting people and I tend to be sensitive to perceived social exclusion and slights.
Unless it's really severe, then ofc speak to a doctor about it or someone who knows you well at least. I doubt Lemmy will be the best place for most accurate advice just due to the lack of context of how you are as a person. Commenters could always be right, but it could be a million other things, or nothing, or "shit life syndrome", or all of the above.
I've never heard of someone's hormones being artificially controlled, do you mean all hormones or just specific ones and why and how is it done?.
P.S. Have you read Reasons to be cheerful by Greg Egan, it's a short story that reminds me of this situation
Definitely sounds like bipolar or something close. See a psychologist ASAP; faster cycles can be a warning sign. You're not insane, you just have an unreliable narrator!
A few things I've learned from being married to a lady with bipolar for 16 years:
- it's not your fault, but it is your responsibility
- not being able to trust your brain sucks, but knowing it can be a liar helps
- you can be happy and productive and have a normal life
- take your pills, especially if you don't feel like it
- self-medicating has trade-offs - try to stick with TV or other distractions instead of things that can have consequences like drugs or sex
Good luck on your journey!
I have two friends and an ex girlfriend who are bipolar and this was my first thought too. I can't really add much to what you said other than to stress seeing a phycologist ASAP and take your meds especially when you don't want to.
Bi-polar. I’ve been living with it nearly three decades. It comes on around early adulthood. It’s a pita getting on top of it and learning to manage it, but you can get there. Lemme try to speedrun you some info.
You most likely need medication to manage it, though a psychiatrist will make that determination. It can take a long time to find the right med or combination of meds. I'm sorry, but it's going to be frustrating at times because it's very much a "how's this one working" process. Some of them will have unpleasant side effects, others not so much. But when you touch upon something that works, your life is back in your hands.
Don't ever just go off your meds without the supervision of your caretaker. This can be dangerous both physically and mentally. I went off my meds once and crashed so hard that I couldn't even speak to my then-partner. You need to ween yourself from them if you decide to change your treatment.
Manic episodes feel awesome and you might be tempted to take the ride when you notice that one is coming on. This is tempting because of the increased productivity and awesome state of mind. It always ends in some degree of disaster. So if you find a med that helps slow them to prevent them, even though it feels good, shut it down. You may spend lots of money very easily or engage in risky behaviors that can really screw you over.
It takes time to recognize the signs that a manic episode is coming on. I thought I'd never be able to control them but after it happens enough time, you can learn to recognize them and assert control via whatever you find that works. I have a specific medication that shuts them down. Would that med work for you? Who knows. Be prepared to be observant and learn about yourself. For me, I start making an unconscious pop with my tongue when manic, which helps identify it. Also, I find that keeping a really consistent sleep schedule helps whereas staying up partying all night could lead to mania. Hard to do at 18, I know.
It seems to slow down and become more manageable with age. In my late twenties and early thirties, it was more difficult to manage than in the second half of my thirties and beyond. I haven't had a manic episode in maybe eight or nine years because it's less challenging and I've been managing it effectively for a while.
You might need an antidepressant to help with the down cycles. Too much can induce mania. Go slow with your caregiver and ask as many questions as you need to. Ask how drugs and alcohol might affect your condition as well as your treatment.
Listen, I'm sure all this might sound like I'm saying that you got dealt an impossible shitty life. That's not the case. It's going to present challenges, but everyone has challenges and this is just one of yours. I'm extremely happy in life. If you offered to take away my condition and start over, I wouldn't do it. My condition is part of what makes me me and I wouldn't want any other life. Note that I didn't always feel this way and be prepared for depression to really make things hard. That part sucks, but hey, again, you'll learn to manage it if you choose to.
Hey, it's not at all the end of the world. And there's never been a better time in history to be neuro-divergent. There's nothing to be ashamed of. I openly admit that I'm bi-polar and in treatment with anyone I know. It's like having asthma. We are seen and accepted.
If I think of anything else, I'll post again. But this feels about like how I would want to present it and what I'd want to emphasize. I might be done. Good luck!
!lemmygold for this guy, damn that was a good post
Sounds like bipolar disorder, but you must consult a doctor about it, as we won't know enough here.
Hey this sounds a lot like my mom she has issues with her thyroid and Bipolar so it would definitly be worth talking to a professional if you can.
Listen idk what you're looking to get here.
Go to a doctor.
It sounds like bipolar. Get help!
It's not true that you can't be given a diagnosis.
It's good that you'll be speaking to a psychiatrist, because those could be signs of certain disorders. For example, you could have bipolar disorder.
As the sister of a 45-year-old man who's been diagnosed with bipolar disorder (dunno the English term) 20 years ago: when you take the right meds, they'll work. You'll then think you're good and don't need them anymore, and stop taking them because the side effects are annoying. It's a really bad idea. Last time he got 5,000€ in debt to buy Christmas trees to gift to random homeless people around Berlin.
That is both hilarious and horrifying
We live 3000 km from Berlin.
Did he go to Berlin or was there some form of organisation...?
I think he went? He ordered them on the web from Berlin retailers, then booked a plane ticket. Our dad caught up with him at some point, but I can't remember if it was here or there. We were just happy he didn't try to ride his huge bike across Europe instead of flying. The state he was in, he wouldn't have made it.
Sounds bipolar from your subjective description, but only an actual test from a licensed professional can say for sure. There are several other things that could be going on. It's more difficult for women to get accurately diagnosed, so I apologize in advance for that disparity. It's not fair, it's not right, but it is something you should keep in mind. That being said, it's not impossible to get an accurate diagnosis, effective treatment, and live a better life, you're just going to have to work for it. Now that you're an adult you can at least be your own advocate. You can look up resources and schedule appointments, and something should come of it eventually
My first totally in prof opinion is that sounds bipolar to me until I read what you’re reacting to. Friends choosing others over you is painful! No reason not to be sad over that. Also, life is hard! I don’t think going in phases of happy and sad throughout the week is too unusual.
i mean, the first part is true even without the hardship but it gets worse when something like that happens. thank you so much though! i’m just concerned because i’ll go from INSANELY happy and full of ideas and energy to being depressed in the next week or so and nothing will make me happier
That does sound like potential bipolar disorder.
Either way, there are medications that should be able to help with your symptoms.
Good luck!
Yeah see the doc, preferably one who works with people your age since this does sound like a somewhat amplified version of normal 18yo mood swings. The upswing sounds like so-called hypomania which is less intense and less dangerous than full-on mania (where you go mostly bonkers, spend all your money, and otherwise mess up your life). You may be able to work out behavioral coping strategies rather than suppressing it with drugs. But, again, see your MD, don't listen to much to us Internet randos.
As someone in a similar age bracket I can relate to experiencing something similar, but over a longer time period (several weeks/months). I'm a cis male so I'd guess it's not hormones (not sex specific ones, at least). Unfortunately I have no idea what it actually is, but I hope you can figure it out!