this post was submitted on 11 Apr 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] felixwhynot@lemmy.world 118 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Exceptions are rare enough that there’s only like one mass shooting a week!

[–] rtxn@lemmy.world 76 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (12 children)

In 2022 or 2023 there was one mass shooting for every day of the year. Anon was simply in the wrong place.

https://www.massshootingtracker.site/

Looks like they're on track for another great year of mass shootings!

[–] Tar_alcaran@sh.itjust.works 25 points 1 month ago

90 mass shootings in 101 days! At least 11 days without one, way to go USA.

[–] Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

I mean, most of those are gang shootings, no? Those are always a bit disingenuous to call mass shootings.

People overstate the danger.

(And 90 in a year is still a small % of people when we have 300 million, if you look at %)

[–] TheDoozer@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago (2 children)

So... I'm curious why you think gang shootings shouldn't count or is a bit disingenuous to include.

[–] Fredthefishlord@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

It's disingenuous because they're not everywhere. They're in a specific subset of high crime areas.

It's a very own problem in its own right, but when including in a statistic used to represent all of America as shooting people up is what makes it a poor and often intentionally misleading statistic as compared to how safe you actually are in the average area

They're also typically more targeted, less random

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 month ago (7 children)

and it regularly involves a specific group of people, often times doesn't really even involve every day normal people, as opposed to a mass shooting, where the literal point is killing normal people.

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[–] bradv@lemmy.ca 9 points 1 month ago

Yeah but there's like 50 weeks in a year

[–] Fingolfinz@lemmy.world 39 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Eeeuuuugggghhhh, my wife is a reeeeaaaaaal wife, I’ll tell ya

[–] Kacarott@aussie.zone 5 points 1 month ago

You wouldn't know her, she buys her knives from a different store

[–] GraniteM@lemmy.world 32 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

In any given year, more than half of all gun deaths are suicides, so really it should read...

Go back inside

Shoot self

[–] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (2 children)

But how would they type it?

[–] Wizard_Pope@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

They are a bad shot

[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 4 points 1 month ago

So much potential greentext, wasted.

[–] ChillPenguin@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (16 children)

most gun owners are safe and cautious

I know some of the most brain dead takes that my friends with guns do. Some gun owners are absolutely crazy when it comes to gun safety and storage.

[–] ZombiFrancis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have known a number gun enthusiasts. About half of them have been safe with them. Only one shot themself.

The numbers aren't great.

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (5 children)

The number of people who openly admit to coworkers that they have couch guns scares me

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[–] wookiepedia@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Another take, I am super on it with gun safety, but not storage. There are never minors allowed in my home, and a gun isn't useful unless you can get to it easily and it's ready to go. Only guns resting inside the safe are unloaded, all the guns that work for a living have loaded magazines and a round in the chamber (I don't own any 1911 pattern guns, if I did, they would not be chambered.) Also, no exposed trigger, everything is in a holster.

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[–] Death_Equity@lemmy.world 30 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Well he did deserve it by wearing that hat.

[–] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 12 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Fedora with safari flaps in the back

[–] SatansMaggotyCumFart@lemmy.world 10 points 1 month ago

That sounds fedorable.

[–] hemko@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Confederate flag wifebeater

[–] Comment105@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Oh, I thought it would've been the one about the fishes

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[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

People getting stabbed with wives instead of knives now 😔

[–] And009@lemmynsfw.com 10 points 1 month ago

Sharp women

[–] farngis_mcgiles@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

these goddamn feminists ruin everything

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[–] unknown1234_5@kbin.earth 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

this is why we need to regulate wives

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I'd say we should just outright make homicide illegal so we don't have to be sexist about it.

[–] KillingTimeItself@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

yeah, fuck men though, they can stab as many men as they want, as long as they're in a gay relationship.

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[–] Gregu@lemmy.ca 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fake. Anon doesn’t have a wife. That would involve talking to a woman.

[–] Sir_Premiumhengst@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

And gay, for he got impaled from behind.

[–] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 17 points 1 month ago

So she was "standing her ground?"

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Be British

Go to the United States

Don't Get Blown up in a Cybertruck

Don't Get Shot up in a mass shooting

Don't Get Robbed shirtless by a home invasion

Don't Get Scammed broke by a crypto-coin shill

Do find the one person in the entire country who insists on doing knife crime

Marry her

Get stabbed to death

Post about it on 4chan

[–] N0tTheBees@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago

Could just be a story about a man getting pegged by his wife

[–] nthavoc@lemmy.today 16 points 1 month ago

Or stabbed by kids because wifi is down ....

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago

See that is the problem.

All gun owners should be completely cautious and safe. That is why you background check them thoroughly.

[–] GrumpyDuckling@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

The amount of guns mechanics find just casually sitting around in customers cars is appalling. They get stolen because people leave guns in their cars and used for crimes.

[–] zerosignal@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Whenever I see cars/trucks with gun stickers on the back, I assume they are rolling loot drops. Ain't no way I'm advertising what guns I have. Also not leaving my guns unattended anywhere. I spent too much on that shit to leave it out for somebody else to take.

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[–] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Both the "locks away guns, guns are always empty except on the shooting range or hunting, safety conscious" person and the "gets drunk every evening and sleeps with a loaded gun under their pillow" person are actually totally safe as long as they uphold the number one rule of gun safety: "The barrel of a gun may never be pointed at a person". Super hard to shoot someone unless you are Angelina Jolie or James McAvoy or one of those bullet ricochet superheroes. Of course it's a useless rule since it is simply stating the obvious. But that doesn't seem to stop people from repeating it.

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[–] LustyArgonianMana@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

Maybe it was justified, let's hear her out

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francine_Hughes

[–] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

pfft this ridiculous shit - most gun owners are completely cautious and safe people - is disproven easily by reality.

https://www.jalopnik.com/youve-got-to-stop-keeping-your-gun-in-your-car-1850929717/

https://www.jalopnik.com/a-gun-is-stolen-from-a-car-every-9-minutes-in-america-1851472717/

that's a single example of the idiocy. it gets dumber the further you research. Most, bwahahahah

[–] pjwestin@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

He's lucky his wife didn't have a gun.

[–] RymrgandsDaughter@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

Anon probably deserved it

[–] MindlessHunter4@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

If the wife knows where he keeps the guns she could and probably would just as easily shoot him.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago

Hmm...

This is some combination of right-wing gun-toting and sexism. A very.... wonderful combination.

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