this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2025
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[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 4 points 6 days ago

I have been in this headspace for 5-10 years as I could see this moment of collapse coming, I have lost most of my friends or a great distance has opened up between me and them where more and more whenever I am vulnerable and share how I feel I get some form of "it is useless being negative, you have to be happy and let it go!".

Wish all those people didn't take so long to have a mature realistic outlook, but whatever, their old self is being obliterated by the new status quo, so in a very real way those people are already gone or at most a lingering ugly remnant of the past.

[–] SnotFlickerman@lemmy.blahaj.zone 149 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (15 children)

I hate to say it, but now isn't the only time it's a problem.

This whole "you just need to practice more CBT skills" has been bullshit for like twenty fucking years or more.

I can "check the facts" all I want, if the facts are that things are irreparably and totally fucked and that this irreparability is hurting me directly I can't "happy thoughts" my fucking way out of it.

I'm really tired of being told "you can't change other people, so you need to work on yourself" when other people are allowed to be giant assholes their whole lives who never have to put one ounce of work into themselves and it's me and everyone else who is a halfway decent person who has to spend their lives fucking working on ourselves.

The system is god damned broken and has been god damned broken when we practically reward the worst of us with never having to try to do better while telling the best of us that we just have to do better.

I'm really, really over it.

[–] Initiateofthevoid@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There are many, many reasons to be upset about the state of the world, but the purpose of CBT is similar to the purpose of stoicism. It is not meant to teach someone how to interface with society, but with themselves. Managing one's emotional state by managing their cognitive state. This is a valuable skill to have even if in the midst of the apocalypse.

Even if you can change other people, generally speaking you can't do it right here right now, so CBT is best served to interrupt or redirect cyclical thought processes that can't actually motivate someone toward any positive outcome.

Having the thought - "This is fucked and I'm going to do X, Y, and Z" - is healthy.

Having the thought - "this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked this is fucked" - on repeat in your head when you can't currently do X, Y, or Z, is not. CBT is meant to help someone break out of the latter, not the former.

[–] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 1 points 6 days ago (1 children)

There are many, many reasons to be upset about the state of the world, but the purpose of CBT is similar to the purpose of stoicism. It is not meant to teach someone how to interface with society, but with themselves.

Nobody cares for the most part about the intended purpose at the end of the day, they care about the actual impact which is that CBT is a convenient framing to exclude the non-individualist reasons people are miserable.

CBT is a convenient framing to exclude the non-individualist reasons people are miserable.

The rest of my comment addresses this - again, this isn't how CBT works. CBT does not say "if you constantly feel bad, it's your fault, not society's".

It's just a strategy to manage unproductive and unhealthy negative thoughts, not negative thoughts in general. It's totally healthy to feel anger, grief, sadness, etc in response to all types of things. If someone is telling you otherwise, they're not performing CBT.

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 48 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Overthrowing capitalism is a pretty effective coping mechanism from what I hear.

[–] RandomVideos@programming.dev 11 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Isnt that almost impossible? I wonder how many lotteries you would have to win in a row to be as lucky as you would need to convince billions of people capitalism may be worse than another system and to do something about it

[–] riwo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

you dont have to convince people based on dry theory. revolution does not necessairily mean a momentary violent insurection that overthrows what was. a revolution can be the process in which you create the structures you wish to see in the future, in the here and now. you then convince people by showing them first hand that it works and that it benefits them.

here is a great video on how to construct the revolution. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W9K6ISx8QEQ

it has a bit of a slow start, and feels academic but its very very insightful. absolute recomendation.

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[–] Clent@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 1 week ago

CBT was designed for people who had severe behavioral issues.

The idea that it should be done by everyone is because extracting profit by selling cookie cutter solutions is the perversion of capitalism.

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[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 63 points 1 week ago (4 children)

This is actually touching on a real new approach to mental healthcare, which is just accepting that "life is shit" and you're kinda on your own to find meaning in it, or get to the next high-point that makes it worth living.

We have to stop expecting things to be stable, normal and comfortable. We had a good, smooth run, things are going back to normal now.

[–] werty@sh.itjust.works 3 points 6 days ago

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change what I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Excellent psychological advice in the form of prayer. The fact that life is shit is one of things ypu cannot change. The wisdom to know the difference is the real skill.

[–] OccultIconoclast@reddthat.com 27 points 1 week ago (2 children)

Humanity having enough power that their mistakes can destroy the world isn't normal. Our failure tolerances were calibrated in a world where the damage we did to nature was temporary. That's not true anymore; we either get our act together now or go extinct.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Humanity having enough power that their mistakes can destroy the world isn’t normal.

As someone born in the cold war, I can't relate. It's always been this way as long as I've been alive, so if something has been a way as long as anyone can remember, I think it's pretty safe to call it "normal" at least for our species. This is what we do, this is how we operate.

I really believe if we accepted that our human nature gives us a lot of very bad baggage and our entire conscious experience is often an illusion assembled by millions of years of evolution, and that we may never rise above our instincts, we actually might start making progress towards a more equitable future.

Kinda like when you're an alcoholic or other kind of addict, if you finally accept that you have a problem, you learn eventually that you can't trust yourself so you make measures ahead of time like hiding your wallet, disabling your credit card, etc. It's wild that a lot of people consider very successful tactics like this to be a "cop out" and live in this delusion that we "should be better" and can somehow rise above our own natures. Like telling a fish it can fly if it really, really tries hard enough. It's setting you up for failures and frustrations.

[–] TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

We ain't going "extinct" and people quite frankly need to realize that "extinction" is an incredibly low bar to clear. Billions will die and millennia of suffering lay before us, but the human species will be a-ok, especially if our industrial civilizations collapse. It's a fire that'll burn itself out, and thus history will continue.

The human species isn't people, but a term to describe our shared code; code that isn't you or the people you love. We are more than just our long term machinery. If we only focus on the forest, we miss the well being of the trees. I'd rather all our bloodlines end and us live lives focused on ourselves, than have an eternity of worshipping constructs that force us to live for them.

[–] OccultIconoclast@reddthat.com 14 points 1 week ago (4 children)

The Earth maintains homeostasis. Past 2 degrees warming, the current homeostasis systems break down. We don't know where the next homeostasis point is. It's probably a lot worse. It'll keep getting worse past the point we stop making it worse. Most of the species on earth will go extinct.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Most of the species on earth will go extinct again

FTFY

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[–] peregrin5@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago

Shit man. This hits home way too hard.

[–] psivchaz@reddthat.com 6 points 1 week ago

Putting it this way kind of makes it sound like modern therapy has reinvented Buddhism.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 33 points 1 week ago (3 children)

This is an entirely different approach than most people are used to. My advice from a couple of combat deployments is to cultivate a task oriented mindset. What does that mean? It means worrying about the task you are doing right now and nothing else. That doesn't mean you never look at the bigger picture. But if you're at dinner, then you're at dinner and you enjoy that. You can check when the next protest is, after dinner. You take each day like this and before you know it we'll be voting Trump out of office.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 6 points 6 days ago

Only worry about what you can control.

Great advice.

[–] ericatty@infosec.pub 16 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Wow, so this is basically the technique I started when a close family member was dying of cancer.

"But if you're at dinner, then you're at dinner and you enjoy that"

I just want to add to this, give yourself permission to fully enjoy it and be happy in the moment. Don't beat yourself up for feeling joy when you know others are still in crisis.

Make a list on paper or digital and let all the problems wait while you enjoy the moment. It's okay to enjoy the moment.

[–] zarkanian@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (3 children)

before you know it we'll be voting Trump out of office.

No offense, but this is a weird comment. How are we going to vote him out of office? Are we just accepting that he's going to run for a third term? We can't let him do that.

[–] Maggoty@lemmy.world 1 points 6 days ago

It was just a general sentiment but he's definitely going to try. And if his party supports him through all the protests then the best defense of Democracy is indeed going to be voting him out.

[–] laserm@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

Next year are both senate and house elections. If we get blue 2/3ds in both chambers, we can pursue them to impeach Trump

[–] eestileib@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

There will be no "voting maga out of office".

That ship has sailed.

[–] Xtallll@lemmy.blahaj.zone 8 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Don't comply in advance, don't take it for granted that the next election won't happen. They want you to cancel that election, don't do their work for them.

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[–] ChaoticNeutralCzech@feddit.org 31 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Depressive realism sucks... and the shittiest people are immune to it.

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[–] xpinchx@lemmy.world 30 points 1 week ago (12 children)

Hey guys this probably isn't the right place, but I'm new to mental health issues. About two weeks ago I started having crippling anxiety attacks, mostly at or right after work. I do intl logistics for my company so I've had a pulse on all this bullshit from the getgo.

At the same time I started having blood pressure issues, and the combination has a vicious feedback loop of anxiety > elevated heart issues > anxiety etc.

My doctor gave me 30 Xanax (and a plethora of heart meds), I've looked up self help type stuff to help with the anxiety... Mindfulness, breathing exercises, etc. Daily walks and exercise help the most but I feel so out of control of my emotions I don't really know what to do anymore.

Should I talk to my GP and get on something long term? Therapist? Keep trying self help?

I'm 38 and otherwise healthy, no depression, slightly overweight but physically active and eating healthy. I stopped all my vices (nicotine, alcohol, most weed I still take edibles CBD) and I don't know how to cope without being self destructive.

If anyone else is going through this and getting traction just let me know your experience I guess. I don't know anyone irl as affected as me so I mainly just want validation I'm not alone and there's a path forward.

[–] priapus@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago

I would definitely recommend trying therapy. Self help and meds will both help, but, for me, therapy made the biggest difference in the long run.

[–] gandalf_der_12te@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I don’t know anyone irl as affected as me so I mainly just want validation I’m not alone and there’s a path forward.

you can have that validation from me. spontaneous panic attacks or anxiety attacks can happen in the face of extreme danger, even if that danger would only be imaginary. in this case, it might be real, though, depending on your situation.

I assume you live in the US, since you didn't say.

What's important is that you make a long-term plan ("where do you see yourself in 30 years") that's as realistic as possible and also at least acceptable. Every time the panic attacks start just focus on that vision (and on the path to get there). That will calm you down and give you a clearer mind. However, it is utterly important that you make such a plan. Without such a plan, i am deeply convinced people cannot live healthy, happy lives.

[–] HappinessPill@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I think you are very stressed, some heart medications reduce the heart rate effects of anxiety. Xanax reduce the mental anxiety, but it's very strong and you could become dependent on benzos creating another problem, they are best for short term management.

There some suplements that reduce cortisol levels, but also have a penthora of sife effects, they are called adaptogens, also SSRIs could reduce your anxiety without the risk of making you dependent.

I would search for another job also, if that's is a option for you.

I hope you can get the help you need.

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[–] A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world 29 points 1 week ago (2 children)

This is exactly why I'm trying to limit news intake. I was kinda spiraling out with it all. I'll still do stuff, show up and whatever, but man. This regime is AWFUL for my mental health.

And like for good reason, I know that I'm right to be scared of what's happening but I gotta mediate this.

[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 16 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, I had a realization after the election that I was basically consuming news as entertainment in place of other things I could be reading or doing. I'm voting, I'm attending protests, knowing more isn't going to change anything. It'll just make me feel worse.

[–] greenskye@lemm.ee 9 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Yeah, I'm struggling so hard to just limit my knowledge. Does it really make a difference to me personally if I miss one of the fucked up things Trump does? If you're already radicalized, it doesn't really matter if he's done 20 things wrong or 50. There's no further room to sway your opinion and no further actions you can take. It's just beating your mental health into the ground for no benefit.

But God damn is hard to convince the algorithms you don't want to see that shit anymore. You truly can't even do the simplest thing online without it showing up.

[–] Zorsith@lemmy.blahaj.zone 12 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Not everyone has the luxury of being able to not pay attention; I sure don't.

Some of us need to know if we need to leave and with what level of urgency.

Some of us will find out if we've been fired from our jobs through the news (federal employees) before we're even told by our bosses.

Some of us may need to choose our words and public persona more carefully as more and more groups are targeted for their beliefs, opinions, and identities.

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[–] the_q@lemm.ee 20 points 1 week ago (3 children)

Being anxious and depressed is directly related to your awareness of the world around you. It's not okay to be okay.

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