this post was submitted on 26 Apr 2025
824 points (94.7% liked)

Lemmy Shitpost

31125 readers
6086 users here now

Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

...


2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)

...


3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.

-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers

-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.

...


4. No Porn/ExplicitContent


-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.

-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.

...


5. No Enciting Harassment,Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts


-Do not Brigade other Communities

-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.

-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.

-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.

...


6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.

...

If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


Also check out:

Partnered Communities:

1.Memes

2.Lemmy Review

3.Mildly Infuriating

4.Lemmy Be Wholesome

5.No Stupid Questions

6.You Should Know

7.Comedy Heaven

8.Credible Defense

9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


Reach out to

All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] Lushed_Lungfish@lemmy.ca 11 points 7 hours ago

If I remember my history correctly, one of the primary draws of the at the time new christianity over judaism was specifically that dudes wouldn't need to lop off part of their dongs in a pre-anesthesia world.

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 33 points 11 hours ago (1 children)

Tbf Jesus didn't start this shit.

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 15 points 10 hours ago (2 children)

If you believe in the Trinity he did

[–] YiddishMcSquidish@lemmy.today 2 points 9 hours ago

The son is just as creepy as the dad and the holy what the the mother fuck is that‽

[–] Paper_Phrog@lemmy.world 2 points 9 hours ago

I love this comment.

[–] vga@sopuli.xyz 18 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Somewhere in heaven, God is sitting on top of a huge pile of foreskins like Smaug.

[–] loomy@lemy.lol 0 points 4 hours ago

pro tip: you can't stutter if you never existed.

you also can't loose yor peen tip or your protip.

[–] Bloomcole@lemm.ee 5 points 10 hours ago

At least they did it bcs they believed in some BS.
Unlike the suckers doing it for 'esthetic reasons'

[–] yesman@lemmy.world 101 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 22 hours ago) (2 children)

Circumcision is not a Christian practice.

It's popular in America because some 19^th^ Century RFK jr style health freaks convinced everybody that masturbation caused disease.

[–] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 6 points 8 hours ago

I know it more from Islam.

Arguably the same thing in different colors tho.

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 39 points 22 hours ago

Fun fact: Adventists (Kellogg's religion) run the second largest system of Christian schools, behind the Catholics. It definitely won't leave you weird and sexually repressed for the rest of your life.

[–] artichoke99@lemm.ee 37 points 19 hours ago (2 children)

It's fucking crazy bro my parents were believers but weren't actually subscribed to any traditional religion and them mfers still trimmed my shit

[–] PaintedSnail@lemmy.world 30 points 19 hours ago (2 children)
[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 1 points 7 hours ago (1 children)

The cereal guy? Next you're gonna tell me Nestle's been up to some shady shit

[–] Krauerking@lemy.lol 1 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Well the cereal was invented cause he thought bland foods would stop you masturbating but that was clearly not working so he leaned back into foreskin hoarding.

I am not kidding as much as that sentence would make it seem.

[–] fishy@lemmy.today 1 points 3 hours ago

Let's clear it up though, it's the guy who invented the cereal who was a nut. His brother was the one who was like "I'm gonna sell the flakes, not the dick snip bit." They got into a huge battle when the quack doctor realized his brother was making more money selling the cereal than he was selling religious pseudoscience.

[–] fluffykittycat@slrpnk.net 11 points 16 hours ago

And ultimately Christian sexual repression

[–] kreskin@lemmy.world 7 points 16 hours ago (1 children)

Yeah you've got to wonder if that extra bit they trimmed off would be nicer to have there or not. But I guess the mutilated pecker is all I'll ever know so I guess its fine?

[–] DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social 6 points 10 hours ago (1 children)

1: Reduces feeling, bad for you 2: Reduces feeling, good for your partner 3: Might be useful hygienically if you ever live as a desert nomad, so that's nice

[–] jecxjo@midwest.social 19 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

So there is that story in Genesis where the sons of Jacob have an army of 318 men circumcised so they could follow their religion.

Just think they probably put then into a pile, a small little mountain of foreskins.

[–] InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world 4 points 12 hours ago (2 children)

They made them into some wallets

[–] rob_t_firefly@lemmy.world 2 points 5 hours ago

You know how you can collect rubber bands over time, wrapping them around each other, and eventually you have a great big ball on your desk to play with?

[–] ptu@lemm.ee 1 points 7 hours ago

My wallet is really at the end of its life cycle and this comment made me consider

[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 48 points 23 hours ago (1 children)

Genital mutilation for all your babies! Use myths and lies to explain why it’s necessary!

[–] MBech@feddit.dk 32 points 22 hours ago

You mean to tell me it's not physically impossible to clean the dick if the foreskin isn't cut off? My whole uncircumcised life has been a lie!

[–] disguy_ovahea@lemmy.world 130 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Wrong dude. That was Abraham in Genesis.

[–] CalipherJones@lemmy.world 51 points 1 day ago (5 children)

If Jesus is God and God told Abraham then i guess it's technically the right dude.

[–] dontbelasagne@lemmy.world 1 points 6 hours ago

Didn't Jesus deny being god though, the son of god and god are not the same entity, it's like saying I'm my mother because I was born out of her, but two different entities

[–] Pippipartner@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 9 hours ago

This is technical correct and I love it.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 54 points 1 day ago (1 children)

only jesus said there is a new covenant with him, which nearly all denominations interpret to mean the rite of circumcision is a thing of the past

[–] sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (26 children)

... Unless you're in Protestant dominated USAmerica, where male genital mutilation remains a widespread, common practice.

Roughly 80% of American boys/men are circumcized, almost all at birth.

I can provide either statistics or pics as proof, your choice.

EDIT: There's also a whole history of basically junk/fraudulent science in the US being used as a validation of this practice, much of which basically claims that having your whole hood intact makes you more vulnerable to skin infections and STDs.

This is false, but Americans are quite good at doing motivated reasoning and convincing themselves it is objective critical analysis.

load more comments (26 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] fireweed@lemmy.world 40 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Actually there was a huge debate among early Christians whether circumcision was still required because Jesus never spoke on the issue (or if he did, there was no verifiable record of it).

To crudely summarize:

The earliest Christians were primarily Jews, so they were already circumcized as required by Judaism so it was a non-issue. However unlike Judaism where you're almost always born into the religion, Christianity actively encourages adult conversion, so as more non-Jews (e.g. Greeks) began to identify as Christians, the circumcision issue became a conundrum. Some felt Christianity was a branch of Judaism and as such Jewish practices like circumcision were still required, whereas others objected because they saw Christianity as a new approach to Judaism, or even as a separate religion altogether (circumcision specifically was hotly debated due to such issues as adult circumcision being more, shall we say, unappealing than infant circumcision, plus getting circumcized would "out" non-Jews in nude spaces like bath houses, which was at best awkward and at worst deadly).

The earliest followers of Jesus thought Jesus was going to return in their lifetimes, so these types of issues were not discussed (or at least not resolved) by the original founders and proselytizers (researchers have determined the Gospels weren't even composed until well after everyone involved was dead), but as generations passed it became clear that the Second Coming actually may not happen anytime soon, so practical issues of "how to establish a new religion (is it even a new religion or just a Jewish sect???)" turned into gigantic internal debates for the community. That's what much of the New Testament is: letters back and forth trying to interpret the words of Jesus to resolve doctrinal conflict. In other words, the New Testament is basically four different versions of the story of Jesus (Mark, Matthew and Luke which were based on Mark and a lost "Gospel X", and John), followed by a curated back-and-forth commentary section debating issues of the day such as circumcision and women's role in the church, and controversially capped off by the (theorized) hallucinations of a hermit tripping balls off donated moldy bread.

The history of the New Testament (how it was written and later compiled, early texts that were lost or discarded, and all the doctrinal conflicts that boiled over into variously incidents of geopolitical chaos) is fascinating and seriously worth exploring.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca 11 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

I can understand desert people coming up with some excuse to preform the operation because sand is coarse and rough and irritating… and it gets everywhere.

But it’s just nicer to think they wanted their kids to have the most attractive cocks in the village

[–] caseyweederman@lemmy.ca 70 points 1 day ago (5 children)

Jesus was in fact the one to say "yeah all this old rules don't matter, just focus on these two: don't be a dick and don't be a fucking dick, god damn"

[–] NONE_dc@lemmy.world 33 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

And that is why they crucified him, The Old Testament Repeatedly says "Be a dick against gays, infidels and non-virgin women who are not your wife. And whoever comes to say otherwise, be the most absolute dick against him".

[–] dontbelasagne@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

But even the new testament says to fear god, why would a all loving god want us to fear it? The abrahamic god is not all loving at all

load more comments (4 replies)
[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 13 points 22 hours ago (2 children)

Found some really nuts messianic Christian family on Facebook, and the mom just gives birth on the back of the skoolie they live in without any medical care, thankfully they only have one son but the father circumcised him with a razor by himself on the bus, and mom thinks that is a swell idea and wrote up a manual about it for her website. They drive around putting up religious signs and begging donations off their fellow believers to live on, and I want to call CPS so badly but I don't know how to find them. It's SO much worse than that too.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›