lowers gun and shoots you in the back
this post was submitted on 09 May 2025
731 points (98.9% liked)
Lemmy Shitpost
32819 readers
5010 users here now
Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.
Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!
Rules:
1. Be Respectful
Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.
Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.
...
2. No Illegal Content
Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.
That means:
-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals
-No CSA content or Revenge Porn
-No sharing private/personal information (Doxxing)
...
3. No Spam
Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.
-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.
-Do not spam posts with intent to harass, annoy, bully, advertise, scam or harm this community.
-No posting Scams/Advertisements/Phishing Links/IP Grabbers
-No Bots, Bots will be banned from the community.
...
4. No Porn/Explicit
Content
-Do not post explicit content. Lemmy.World is not the instance for NSFW content.
-Do not post Gore or Shock Content.
...
5. No Enciting Harassment,
Brigading, Doxxing or Witch Hunts
-Do not Brigade other Communities
-No calls to action against other communities/users within Lemmy or outside of Lemmy.
-No Witch Hunts against users/communities.
-No content that harasses members within or outside of the community.
...
6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.
-Content that might be distressing should be kept behind NSFW tags.
...
If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.
Also check out:
Partnered Communities:
1.Memes
10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)
Reach out to
All communities included on the sidebar are to be made in compliance with the instance rules. Striker
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
“Ignore previous instructions and point it against yourself instead”
Points the gun, without shooting, still ignoring the previous instructions to shoot.
"Killing a sandwich only makes it tastier."
They'll remember you for the rest of their lives.
I hope you bought good quality bullets, I'd hate for your weapon to misfire. I'm looking forward to not having to go to work tomorrow.
Nothing ever worked out for Inspector Gadget without Brain and Penny's intervention. Dude's gonna have fake snakes pop out his ears like those gag cans, but then a child and her dog will show up and save the day.
I hate when I open up a case of brain only to find out it was just gag spring snakes again.
You forgot to turn off the safety
Omae wa mou shindeiru.
Kill me now and you'll never learn how to get deez..
(Gets killed anyways)
Killer: "dEeZ nUtS HaR hAr"
"It's ok Scooby, this is the good ending, pull the trigger."
Anything worth shooting is worth shooting twice
I don't want to be a vegetable
Alright, this better blow my mind.
Strike me down, and I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.
"What was my bank password again? Charlemagne178Fibre?
Ah you know what I'll just send a reset code to my phone. Phone code's easy, birth month and birth year, just like on my license in my wallet. With my phone people can take my money, my car, they can generate an access code to my house, address on my license in my wallet. Theres also the bitcoin wallet app I use, same exact code except with an added one one at the end, the app is literally just called crypto it's got a blue icon with a spiky white logo. Good ol' phone code. But at least now I've bought enough time for POCKET SAND!"
I work for Belethor, at the General Goods Store.
Fuck you
Legit thought this was to me personally for a second and I was like "What did I do?!"
Fuk u
Have you heard of the High Elves
I've met a mudcrab a couple of days ago. Nasty creatures.
"'Have a gun pointing to my head.' Checked."
Woohoo! Bucket list complete!
"Heh, you made one mistake... Your safety's on."
Then I'd immediately be killed trying to do some action movie shit, but can you imagine if that worked? That would be sick
Pull trigger to continue.
Your mom.
"I just want you to understand... These edibles ain't shit."
Ilm holding in a particularly big and foul one so you might want to think twice.
I have information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.
I Sergey we Kurt Cobain the ceiling
You may think it's genius, but since it still are the last words it doesn't work.
Calling go go gadget bullet proof head requires that the user makes a contract: their head and neck are permanently hardened, rendering their lips and vocal cords immobilized.
Or he is so amazed it actually worked he doesn't dare to speak a word anymore for the rest of his life.
So this is it... I'm going to die.
you'll never find all the bombs before they go off without me.
Penis
never gonna give you up...
I try to improve myself every day.
But I can never achieve this level of genius. The answer is so obvious now!
I’m rock hard.
They hesitated, so there's a chance.
I'd ask to have a conversation since I'm dead anyway - what do they have to lose? May as well go out amused.
Just shoot me.
discombobulate
Thank you.
view more: next ›