this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2025
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Programmer Humor

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[–] frezik@lemmy.blahaj.zone 409 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Why are all my variables suddenly named after SS officers?

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 148 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] ch00f@lemmy.world 129 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)
  • Auswitch statement
  • V2latile variable
  • Goebboolean
  • Zyklon C++
  • Left shift, Reich shift
  • Open and close Parenzer
  • Iron Cross-compiler
[–] kibiz0r@midwest.social 36 points 3 weeks ago

Thanks I hate it!

[–] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 90 points 3 weeks ago

if (hasBillion) { throw new NaziSalute(); }

[–] Taiatari@lemmynsfw.com 35 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

It's for familiarity, that way you can remember the variables better. taps head

/s obviously

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[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 266 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

I am a professional encoder and I always put all my codes in a single big file marked EXE for faster execution.

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 53 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

James? I told you not to share or office secrets!

[–] kambusha@sh.itjust.works 44 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

What does the office secrete?

[–] PattyMcB@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 42 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Don't forget to put them all in italics so they execute faster!

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[–] negativenull@piefed.world 226 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Get popcorn ready

Upload the entire Linux kernel, then submit the "fixed" code as a PR to Linus.

Enjoy popcorn

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 149 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

My sibling in christ, we are trying to code not cause a NATO conflict.

[–] unwillingsomnambulist@midwest.social 52 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I’d love to see Linus verbally bitchslap the fuckwit. Or physically, that’d be cool too.

[–] AnarchistArtificer@slrpnk.net 29 points 3 weeks ago

I think that Linus becoming less of an abusive asshole over the years has been a positive development, but I wouldn't mind the return of the old for this event

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[–] nonentity@sh.itjust.works 174 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

No one who legitimately knows anything about computing speaks like this.

He’s truly a moron’s hallucination of a genius.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 70 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (1 children)

Wdym. Just copy-paste your source code. Go ahead. That one single file with the source code, copy-paste it.

[–] saimen@feddit.org 34 points 3 weeks ago

Not copy-paste. Cut-paste. As an additional feature that way your source code becomes as light weighted as 0 Kb.

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[–] Evil_Shrubbery@lemmy.zip 108 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

So "don't talk to strangers" or "don't give your credit card info to strangers" never really reached the audience, did it?

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 108 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (21 children)

Why the fuck can't these assholes just go away?

You've won life. We get it. Good for you. Why do you need more money? Why do you need to constantly be the center of attention?*

It truly is just a handful of unscrupulous, malignant narcissists that have ruined everything (including the planet) for everyone else.

*these are rhetorical questions

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[–] Davin@lemmy.world 107 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

Yes, I who knows a lot about programming, only use one file per application.

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[–] turdburglar@sh.itjust.works 87 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

please don’t use grok.

elon is poisoning the air over memphis with exhaust from the generators that he’s using to power it while using drinking water from the memphis sands aquifer to cool it.

please don’t use grok.

[–] Lemminary@lemmy.world 40 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

You're probably preaching to the choir here. lol

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[–] Vince@lemmy.world 69 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Hmm, can you upload files? Wonder if they set an upper limit. Wonder which language would burn the most cycles?

[–] chiliedogg@lemmy.world 89 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

Knowing how half-assed they've been deploying Grok a ZIP bomb would probably work on it if they allowed file uploads.

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[–] KickMeElmo@sopuli.xyz 49 points 3 weeks ago (4 children)

Ask for all output in brainfuck.

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[–] spicehoarder@lemmy.zip 63 points 3 weeks ago (16 children)

This just confirms Twitter is a 1M line BASIC program.

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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 58 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] Aurenkin@sh.itjust.works 57 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Do you have to print it out and scan it first?

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[–] MonkeMischief@lemmy.today 55 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

From the genius and his whipped minions that brought you MechaHitler after some "fixes and improvements"...

...Comes the same AI that offers to "fix your code."

Wow. Simply astounding. A magnificent feat indeed, to waste so many finite precious resources over such garbage.

Kindly Ctrl+A and shift-delete "All your code files", sir.

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[–] m0darn@lemmy.ca 53 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Presumably anybody that does this gets their code integrated into the training data right?

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[–] maxwells_daemon@lemmy.world 50 points 3 weeks ago

It will definitely not report back to Musk on your proprietary code...

Because Musk wouldn't understand shit, it'll report back to some Indian guy instead.

[–] MTK@lemmy.world 49 points 3 weeks ago
# Checking validity of each file
for file in directory:
  content = file.read()
  for keywords in ("heil hitler","hitler did nothing wrong","kill the jews","hitler was the victim","there is no evidence for the Holocaust"):
    if keywords in content:
      return True

# File is Invalid and fake news
return False
[–] paulbg@programming.dev 48 points 3 weeks ago

sounds like a very productive team💀

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 45 points 3 weeks ago (12 children)

pelcan Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Pelican Mouth. Put Baby In Pelican Mouth. no problems ever in peliccan mouth

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[–] conicalscientist@lemmy.world 44 points 3 weeks ago

I've been saying for a long time (since the 2010s tech boom). There's needs to be a new term the public lexicon termed "poptech" or popular technology. In the same vein has popsci.

The technology anyone knows anymore is oversimplified for general audiences. These days is almost always imparting wrong understanding.

The industry has been rife with grifters. If people catch on then the bottomless pit of funding will become very shallow.

[–] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 44 points 3 weeks ago (5 children)

i think ive pinpointed exactly why twitter devs are terrible

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[–] kamen@lemmy.world 39 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

Notice how it's suggested to cut instead of to copy the file.

[–] doktormerlin@feddit.org 29 points 3 weeks ago (8 children)

Yeah duh, you get the fixed file so you don't need the original anymore obviously

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[–] umbraroze@slrpnk.net 38 points 3 weeks ago

Legends say that if you put your source code file in Grok, it'll print out the code and it'll land on Elon's desk.

Elon will browse through it and pretend to understand it, then tweet out insults and emojis and says you're fired. Even though you were never employed by him anyway.

[–] Matriks404@lemmy.world 37 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

Yeah, that's definitely a thing that is perfectly legal to do. Your company will definitely be fine with that.

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[–] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 34 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

how does the AI know what the rest of the project is like? Or what the purpouse of the file is?

[–] CaptDust@sh.itjust.works 97 points 3 weeks ago (6 children)

What do you mean "rest of the project"? Don't you put all of everything into a singular neatly contained file? It's way more optimized that way

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[–] kn0wmad1c@programming.dev 31 points 3 weeks ago

Wait, so if everyone at xAI does that, does that mean that Grok's own source code was the result of Grok's output?

And then they once again feed that source into Grok?

Dude is destroying his own product. Again.

[–] AlecSadler@lemmy.blahaj.zone 30 points 3 weeks ago (2 children)

I do work for an AI centric company and we've used almost every major model in some way, shape, or form.

Grok was so bad on all fronts that we ceased using it completely.

So I don't believe this for one second. I don't even find ChatGPT to be useful for code. I'd probably put Claude first and versions of Gemini second, with no current third.

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[–] neidu3@sh.itjust.works 30 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) (3 children)

Using Grok to develop Grok... This sounds like Model Collapse with extra steps.

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[–] hperrin@lemmy.ca 28 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Hey Grok, take this one file out of the context of my 250,000 line project and give me that delicious AI slop!

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[–] uss_entrepreneur@startrek.website 27 points 3 weeks ago (3 children)

Wait so are they using grok to code grok? No wonder it keeps getting shittier

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[–] skozzii@lemmy.ca 27 points 2 weeks ago

The more he speaks, the more apparent it is that he had no idea what he is talking about.

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